It's a bone cold night, I'm writhing in despair... it's freezing up my heart.

2005-04-01T06:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm switched over to Xanga now... cause it's better :P right.

xanga.com/prophetof7ruth

check, check.. check check it out.

ah.

k, w/e..
Peace,
-Dustin

2005-04-01T06:54:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm switched over to Xanga now... sry for the change.. again, but Xanga is cooler :P right. w/e.

xanga.com/prophetof7ruth

check, check it out.

2005-03-29T06:54:00.000-07:00

Artist: Staple
Album: Staple
Song: The Songwriter

The date was set, this night was saved
(the music played) for holy vows to be unmade
Silent boquets fell to the floor
(with no remorse) forsaking what they're living for
Your passion cut so deep, it bled
But now, the Song-Writer is dead
Now here's to the way, here's to the truth
Here's to the life that you once knew before your passion died in you
Here's to the song that you once played
Before all meaning died and all your passion faded away
We are composers who have fallen
We are the poets who've died young
We are directors who've forgotten
We are life's writers, and all our hope is gone
Now here's to the way, here's to the truth
Here's to the life that you once knew before your passion died in you
Here's to the song that you once played
Before all meaning died and all your passion began to fade away
How far will we fall? Our passion dies here tonight.
We've forsaken our first love. Look how far we've fallen from!
---------

Yargh... no time to update. No time @ all.... tsk tsk. I be a bad blogger. 4 minutes till class. DANGIT! O well. Its nice outside... BAM! PJ is sitting next to me. Wierd. g2g, love you all!

Dustin

2005-03-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

Artist: Staple
Album: Staple
Song: Dictatorship Vs. Democracy

Vicious Cycle of Life:
I find that I kill myself every time I look away from you.
But I often gaze another moment.
Incited scars reopen, bleeding again,
and they're bleeding at my request freely given,
and we choose the choice to loose (now we know).
As these scars are screaming at me
Just why we've chosen poorly.
Could this be our chance to see
why we believe that we need you instead of following numbly?
Ride on, Ride strong solider, march to the dictated beat.
Have you ever known how victory feels unless you have felt defeat?
Dont want the pain of free will tolen and mindless mechanical will chosen.
Cherish the loss
There is no concept of gain without cost.
I fall, and I fall freely.
Incited scars are bleeding and now I believe.
I freely believe when I hit the ground and bloody palms I raise,
the arms that pick me up convince me.
Where's no better place.
----

Love that song. Alas, I have no time to update, as I am a busy psycho freak that must depart, and further the completion of our sad, sad little newspaper.

Yup.

Cya!

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE AT THE MUSICAL!

2005-03-09T14:04:00.000-07:00

Shed the weight of the world

The burden has been lifted

Let it all fall.

--------

So, here I am... updating at school again. Aren't I an interesting one? Answer = no. THis blog sucks.

I need new interesting topics. Like hockey playing Ewoks. That's interesting.

------

KILLSWITCH ENGAGE

Declaration

We will not return to the countless mistakes of the past

I will not relive the failures of the man I once was

Only through dedication will I destroy all preconception

No longer will I let myself be truly satisfied with the standard

We will not return to the countless mistakes of the past

Only through dedication will I destroy all preconception

Let this be

Be the day

Day of my

My declaration

Let this be the day of my declaration

Join me,

Walk with me

Shatter the bonds that tie us

To what we strive to never be

Join me,

Walk with me

2005-03-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

Updating at school... before school starts. Now THATS fun.. let me tell ya. Roight. Sigh. Blah. DIE! Whoa I rhymed.

Artist: Norma Jean
Album: O' God, The Aftermath
Song: Coffinspire: Multitudes, Multitudes In The Valley Of Decision!

They rest on the coast and the tide is impending.
We pull at the motionless and static,
But the torrent has crowned their heads.
It fills their ears and it makes them ill.
They do not struggle at all.
They will speak of the end, and will not prove false.
It is time to move on with the weapons of faith and love.
Synchronize your steps to the sound of guns.
This world is damned to hell and it's a revelation.
And this is a shallow grave, and it's on the highest rise.
Stand on it's highest crest.
I'll set myself on fire.
Come on, watch me burn.
Poisoned now enough to kill ten hundred men.
The harvester's mouth has not gone dry.
----------

Sigh.... i so want that CD. Norma Jean is so awesome! Ok I'm done. My entries SUCK!!!!! But you knew that.

2005-03-07T19:32:00.000-07:00

Isnt it amazing how a song can just say it all? it blows me away every time...
I've posted these before, but they're still really good. So there.

SKILLET LYRICS

"Open Wounds"

In the dark with the music on
Wishing I was somewhere else
Taking all your anger out on me, somebody help
I would rather rot alone
Then spend a minute with you
I'm gone, I'm gone

And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault

[Chorus]
How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?
When all I ever wanted to be was you?
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?

Downstairs the enemy sleeps
Leaving the TV on
Watching all the dreams we had turn into static
Doesn't matter what I do
Nothing's gonna change
I'm never good enough

And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault

[Chorus]

Tell me why you broke me down and betrayed my trust in you
I'm not giving up, giving in when will this war end?
When will it end??

You can't stop me from falling apart [3X]
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault.

[Chorus]

2005-03-07T06:51:00.000-07:00

Artist: Flyleaf
Album: Flyleaf EP
Song: Breathe Today

You try your hardest to perfect your explanations...
You lie until they've run out of questions

You can only move as fast as those in front of you
And if you assume just like them, what good will it do?
So find out for yourself, so your ignorance will stop bleeding through.

Only one thing
big enough to fill the void that's inside of you
It's just a breath away. You can breathe today. Breathe today.

So many, Lies swarming, Around You, You're life is fading,
The emtpy, Space in you,
Steals your breath you're suffocating

Logic forces me to believe in this and now I've learned to see
I can only say what I've seen and heard and only you can choose
And every choice you make will affect you, search your own self

Only one thing,
Big enough to fill the void that's inside of you,
It's just a breath away,
You can breath it in today,
Breathe today
--------------------

Ya... Flyleaf! They freakin rock.. don't even have a full length album yet, but I saw the video to that ^^^ song, and it's awesome. There's something about female metal singers that... idk, but I LIKE IT! waha... ya. Too bad Still Breathing broke up :_( Dacey is my hero forever.

Yes, this IS a sad attempt at making a HAPPY entry for once. Ergo, it makes no sense. Have fun with it anyways!

I want the new Norma Jean CD... "O God, The Aftermath." That is most definately the coolest CD title EVER. Fo sho.

I just used ghetto slang.

Shoot me now.

...

......

..............

plz?

hmm... ok.

Well, I'm getting tired of updating at school... o well. Better than sitting around in the hallways for 15 minutes before school starts. Blah.
I say "blah" way too much. That's a bad sign, I think, since it indicatetes that I must be in a "blah" mood, and "blah" moods are never fun.

I go now.

2005-03-03T12:37:00.000-07:00

Artist: Disciple
Album: By God
Song: Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired

Through my haste, impatience waits
The time has come, I hesitate
Feel so dry, I'm dead inside
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired

So I wake up and I feel that there is nothing real
I haven't heard Your voice in so long
And I know this drought is probably not Your fault
I'm so weak and thirsty

On my knees I need You
I did not mean to leave You
All my heart receives You
It was me it's not You
Restore me, strengthen me
I'm sick and tired, of sick and weak
I decrease, You increase
Heal me of this disease

My heart is thin, sin creeps in
I know You see the pride in me
My mind is gone, I can not think
I have not prayed for weeks and weeks

So I wake up and I feel that there is nothing real
I haven't heard Your voice in so long
And I know this drought is probably not Your fault
I'm so weak and thirsty

On my knees I need You
I did not mean to leave You
All my heart receives You
It was me it's not You
Restore me, strengthen me
I'm sick and tired, of sick and weak
I decrease, You increase
Heal me of this disease

On my knees I need You
I did not mean to leave You
All my heart receives You
It was me it's not You
Restore me, strengthen me
I'm sick and tired, of sick and weak
I decrease, You increase
Heal me of this disease

---------------------------

Eh... yup, thats about it. I don't even 100% know if I'm going to be at the Disciple concert tonight that I've been looking foward to for 2 months or so... that's just about the most depressing thing ever. Especially since I keep telling people I'm going to be there, and I dont even know for sure. My parents hate me, totally.

Blah... gotta get through this freakin long day... but only to dread the rest of the day. Wow, thats a crappy feeling. O well, something good's gotta happen soon... hopefully... maybe... hmm, idk. If I get to go to the concert, I'll be sooooo happy... its all i want right now, I'm like desperate. Blah? What's a substitute word for "blah?" Cause i say it a lot.

What's on my mind: I'm starting to hate it when people ask "how are you?" or "what's going on?" Lately, I havent really known what to say... so idk, its annoying. Kinda. Cause some people actually care if I just be honest and start whining, they'd listen.. but others wouldnt, so... idk, its awkward sometimes. I hate lieing (sp?) to friends, so its just wierd. That's why it's been easiest to use a halftruth thing like "I'm alive" in response. It's true, it makes sense, and there's not a lot to argue.

Yup.

Well, Newspaper class is almost over... i should be doing homework... gotta go, Tylers standing over my shoulder. Ya,..

2005-03-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone... I made a a new retarded header picture. It took me about 2 minutes, I made it in paint! wo0t! Since I AM at school and all. Ya.. I changed the whole colour layout and background pic and crud... no more red! I'll get bored and change the whole layout later tonight or tomorrow, though... probably. Hmmm...

I havent had an actual update in a while, so here ya go.

I'm doing ok, getting by... surviving, you know how it is. It's great, except not really.

DISCIPLE CONCERT ON THURSDAY!

I think a lot of people are going... idk, but that would rock! I think Amanda is going, and Dan is going, and... who else? Kristen might go? Hmm hmm... everyone should come! It's at ground zero.. go to groundzeroconcert.com/maps to get a map...
doors open @ 6:30
concert starts @ 7:00! Be there!

AND then there's a Pillar concert coming up, AND they'll be coming w/ Thousand Foot Krutch, so it will be an awesome concert, too.

Newspaper class is boring today...

I dont have anything to write about. Hmm..

The new Norma Jean cd- O God, The Aftermath - came out today! That's very exciting. I need to buy that cd, AND the Nightwish CD.

Ok, I'm done. That was...n't worth it.
Love to you all,
-Dustin

2005-03-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

STORY OF THE YEAR
"Swallow the Knife"

So our open wounds will bleed
Until our veins run dry
Now we have to take this thorn
And tear it from our side

Agitated at the fault line
Still agreed to disagree
Your connected to the heart
But tonight we'll set you free

So swallow the knife
Carve the way for your pride
Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night
To start over again

Even now as i write this down
All pretensions disappear
Now our impulses will bite
At the ankles of our fear

So swallow the knife
Carve the way for your pride
Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night
To start over again

Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night
To start over again

Words are spoken
Words are broken down

So lets make this night be our best mistake
So lets take the time to wipe the blood away
Now our hands are tied
And our world is caving in

Now our hands are tied
The problems lie within
So we pray for night
To start over again

Now our hands are tied
And the problems lie within

Words are spoken
Words are brokenBroken Down
----------

Holy crap... ya.

s

2005-03-01T06:57:00.000-07:00

2005-02-28T00:08:00.000-07:00

{..In the last twenty-four hours have you..}

Cried: Yes

Bought something: a drink from QT?

Gotten sick: define "sick"

Sang: no

Eaten: yes

Felt stupid: yes

wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't: yes

Met someone new: no

Moved on: no

Talked to an ex: no

Missed an ex: no

Talked to someone you have a crush on: no

Had a serious talk: yes

Missed someone: yes

Hugged someone: yes

Fought with your parent: yes

Dreamed about someone you can't be with: no

{..Personal..}

Who is your role model: my friends, who deal with life like they should.

Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: yes

Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: anyone of the opposite sex? thats vague, but ya.

Have a "type" of person you always go after: no, i dont "go after" anyone.

Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): yes

Wanted to get revenge on someone: yes

Rather be dumper or dumped: dumped

Want someone you don't have right now: yes

Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: idk

Do you want to get married: Gods will be done.

Do you want kids: see above

Do you believe in psychics: yes

Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: ask Jesus

What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: ya right

What is your favorite part of your emotional being: ha... as if.

Are you happy with you: no

Are you happy with your life: idk

If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: only three of my friends know.

{..Have you..}

Fallen for your best friend?: idk

Been rejected?: yes

Been in love?: real love is forever, so yes - i'm in love right now.

Used someone?: yes, everyone has

Been used?: sure, y not

Done something you regret?: every day.

{..Who was the last person..}

You touched?: uhh Dan

Talked to?: Dan

You instant massaged?: Dan

You had sex with?: never, true love waits.

You yelled at?: my sister

You laughed with?: idr, define "laugh"

Who broke your heart?: psh

{..Have you/do you/are you..}

Stolen anything?: yes

Panic?: do i panic? sometimes, not too often.

Anxiety?: ya, sure

Depressed?: ya, too often lately

Suicidal?: no

Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?: sometimes

{..Questions..}

If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: ghrr.. idk. anywhere but here.

What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: the way they look at you says everything.

Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: i dont want to vote.

Marry for money?: no

Have you had braces?: no

Do you like hairy backs?: who cares

Could you live without a computer?: yes, i could

Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc: AIM, MSN, YAHOO

If so, how many people are on your list(s)?: idk, less than 30

If you could live in any past, where would it be?: early 19th century

Do you wear white socks?: sure

Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: both

Your favorite fruit?: grapes

Do you eat wheat bread or white?: both

What is your favorite place to visit?: the depths of my insanity.

What is the last movie you saw?: The Phantom of the Opera

{..even more questions..}

Are you photogenic?: no

Do you dream in color or black and white?: both. One of them started in black and white and changed.

Are you wearing fingernail polish?: no

Do you have any dimples?: idk

Do you remember being born?: no, thank God

Why do you take surveys?: because

Do you drink alcohol?: no

Did you like elementary or do you like high school?: ha, well, def not elementary, but idk about high school. i like my friends, thats it.

What is the best accent?: idk

Who do you want to kiss?: my wife, if i have one, on our wedding day.

Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: sunsets

Do you want to live to be 100?: no

Is a flat stomach important to you?: no

Do you or have you played with a ouija board?: no

Are you loyal?: i try my hardest

Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: depends, define "tolerant"

When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: off, as always

Do you like your nose?: no

Do you think you can draw well?: ha, no

At what age did you find out about Santa Claus?: idk, i dont think i ever really believed.

Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: same

Do you write poetry?: yes

Snore?: no

Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: both

Cats/Dogs?: i dont like dogs

Do you lick stamps?: sure

Do you use an electric can opener?: sure

Have you ridden in a hot-air balloon?: no

{..here we go..}

Like your name?: no

Were you named after anyone?: no

Do you wish on stars?: sometimes

Which finger is your favorite? both

When did you last cry?: yesterday (its 1:30am)

Do you like your handwriting?: idk

If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself? no, i'm a bad friend, but i have good friends.

you a daredevil?: sure

Have you ever told a secret you swore never to tell? no

2005-02-26T20:47:00.000-07:00

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF....
I said i liked you:
I kissed you:
I lived next door to you:
I started smoking:
I stole something:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got into a fight and you weren't there:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
Personality:
Eyes:
Hair:
Family:
WOULD YOU:
Be my friend?:
Keep a secret if I told you one?:
Hold my hand?:
Keep in touch?:
Try and solve my problems?:
Love me?:
Date me?:
HAVE YOU EVER:
Lied to make me feel better?:
Wanted to kiss me?:
Broke my heart?:
Kept something important from me?:
Thought I was unbearably annoying?:
* Describe me in one word.
* What was your first impression?
* Do you still think that way about me now?
* What reminds you of me?
* If you could give me anything what would it be?
* How well do you know me?
* When's the last time you saw me?
* Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
Are you gonna put this on your xanga to see what I say about you?
---------

Yay! fill that out if you get a chance, thx much! you probably want to put the first half of it in one comment, and the last half in the second! make sure you do, or it will get cut off!
-------------

CROSSFADE LYRICS

"Dead Skin"

So I'm the king of all these things, of this mess I have made
Such a waste, what a shame, my whole life is a fake
Well I'm a bore and I'm sure I'm a thorn inside of you that has torn at you for years
The alcohol, the demerol, these things never could replace
What a minute with you could do to put a smile on my face
I'm a bore and I'm sure I'm a thorn inside of you that has torn at me for years
I can't get out of this dead skin, I can't shed my skin
I'm not sure where to begin, why can't I begin again
I can't get under my dead skin, I can't shed my skin
Can I sleep 'til then

Phenobarbitol and alocohol, these two surely will do
To knock me out, keep me down at least a day or two
When I'm awake I can taste how bitter I've become
And it's more than I can bear, somedays I pray someone will blow me away
Make it quick but let it burn so I can feel my life fade
Well, I'm a waste and I can taste how bitter I've become
And it's more than I can bear
I can't shed my skin
I can't shed my skin
---------
ya.. those lyrics are pretty much how i've been feeling. Just replace the alchahol and drugs with my own stupid problems, and there ya have it. O fun and joy.

Aight, well, looking forward to church tomorrow, and Disciple concert/chapel on thursday! Evidently there's about 122 hours until the concert, and some 110 till chapel. :P

I'm out,
Peace and love to you all,
-Dustin

2005-02-22T19:27:00.000-07:00

Crossfade Lyrics

So Far Away Lyrics

I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
(I've been changin' but you'll never see me now)
Now I'm blaming you for everything

No more holding it in
How many years can I pretend
Nothing never goes the way it should
No more sitting in this place
Hoping you might see it my way
Cause I don't think you ever understood
That what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away

[Chorus]
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything

No more waiting for the end
Of every day that I will spend
Wishing that I only had a choice
No more pushing you away
Cause I will be busy watching things going my way
Never looking back on this anymore
Because what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away

[Chorus]

I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
Now I'm blaming you for everything

I'm so far away

Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Hey hey I've been saved
With sun shining on my pain
Getting me through this day
Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Feels so good to say

[Chorus]

Now I'm blaming you

I'm so far away

------
Thats pretty much how I'm feeling right now... yup yup.

This is a fun entry. Not really... sigh.

O well, I tried. Just wanted to say hello, and let everyone know that I AM actually still alive, contrary to a small amount of personal desire... o well. Not really. I dont know what I'm saying. definately rambling. Psh...

God bless, love you all.

2005-02-18T18:44:00.000-07:00

KILLSWITCH ENGAGE
The End Of Heartache

Seek me, call me
I'll be waiting

This distance, this dissolution
I cling to memories while falling
Sleep brings release, and the hope of a new day
Waking the misery of being without you

Surrender, I give in
Another moment is another eternity

(Seek me) For comfort, (Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
(Seek me) Completion, (Call me) I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart

You know me, you know me all too well
My only desire - to bridge our division

In sorrow I speak your name
And my voice mirrors my torment

(Seek me) For comfort, (Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
(Seek me) Completion, (Call me) I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart

Am I breathing?
My strength fails me
Your picture, a bitter memory

For comfort, for solace
(Seek me) For comfort, (Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
(Seek me) Completion, (Call me) I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart

Hey all... this is gonna be quick, since I'm not suppose to even be online at all. :( This is like, the worst week of my life, it's sad. And ya... I'm a selfish whiner, but seriously... it's just not possible for me to have a REALLY good day, without having a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE week.
Satan hates me. ... I guess that's a really good thing, but it's not very comforting right now.

THis weekend is going to suck...
just waiting for Sunday night church... maybe do something half interesting on Monday. I got invited to a poker/Xbox party... don't know if i even want to go, though. Poker? I can imagine where that could lead. Hmm..

Ok, I'm done. I'll talk to you all soon, hopefully. Keep me in your prayers if you can. PEACE TO YOU ALL, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

God bless,
-Dustin

2005-02-13T23:50:00.000-07:00

~HAVE YOU~
been kissed- newp, I'm worth the wait ;)
eaten an entire box of oreos- i think so
been onstage- ya
gotten in a car accident- nope
ridden through death valley on horseback- heck no... that would be boring, and I'm not fond of 100+ degree heat.
stayed home- ya...
danced in the rain- hehe.. perhaps :)
made homemade fudge- no, but my grandma does! & I think Amanda once told me she did...
gone skinny dipping- no
seen the eiffel tower- not in person
seen the ocean- noooooooooo

~FAVORITES~
shampoo- idk, who cares?
soap- dove.. sure... w/e
day- idk... friends birthdays. sure, y not.
night- uhmm... concert nights :) or homecoming night, or just any night spent with friends.
band- ohhhh gosh... do I seriously have to do this again? Right now it would be Disciple or Demon Hunter.
season- AUTUMN
commercial- Halo 2 commercials :D
scent- ground zero, fresh CDR's :P , certain people i guess, and definately KENTUCKY. wow it smells so good there...
car- Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VII
sport to play- Agressive skating... rollerblading in the commons on Friday got me all pumped up :P
sport to watch- Agressive skating... never watched it, but i think paintball would actually be really fun to watch.

~YOUR FRIENDS~
do you have a bf/gf- no
do you have a crush on someone- ya
do you have a best friend- yep
do you rank your speed dial in order of favorite friends- psh no... i dont use a speed dial
who is your funniest friend- lol... idk, all of them in their own little ways :)
who do you go to the mall with the most- Emily, Bryanna and Dan
who do you email the most- Tim or Betsy
who have you known the longest of your friends- all my sophomore friends i guess. anyone before that isn't a friend anymore
who is the loudest- haha.. this could be debatable.
do you have more guy or girl friends- it's equaled out pretty well i think
who is the shyest- hmm... i dont know! most of my friends are pretty outgoing. Maybe Brian Funk
whose parents do you know the best- my friends' parents hate me! seriously.. not even kidding... Emily's, Tims...
who do you go to for advice- Jesus, Dan, Mr. Loftin
who knows all your secrets- haha... well, Jesus knows all, then Dan
who are u jealous of- ahh.... i think Nathan the most. even though that's retarded cause jealousy is bad...
who do you cry with- Jesus, Dan, Emily, Bryanna, whoever wants to hear my sob story...
what is your usual quote- my quote? I'm aloud to have a quote! hoo-ray! hoo-ray! uhmm... idk, what do i say the most? tell me plz!
in one word what would your friends use to describe you- good question... you can tell me in a comment :)

~IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU~
cried- yes!
eaten fluff- hahaha... hmm... idk?
helped someone- considering I didnt leave the house all day... idk, I really really hope i did. :)
bought something- no... but i want SOOOOOOOOOO bad to buy The Crow original score... o wow it's amazing!
burped- uhhh .. sure?
played the guitar- nope
dissected something- lol... yes, my dog. ... no!
cut your hair- no
worn a skirt- a kilt! w00t! No, actually not... :_( I dont have a kilt.
worn a tie- no
been mean- ya i think...
been sarcastic- ya
gone for a run- nope
gone for a walk- nope
gone out for dinner- no
been kissed- no
been shopping- only online window shopping... tear... i really want that soundtrack!
felt stupid- OMG! I dont think so! woo-hoo!
said i love you- heck yes... Jesus made my day :)
written a letter- no
written a paper- no, but i SHOULD have for English.. blah :(
taken a test- no
met someone new- no :(
moved on- yes, from some things...
written in a journal- no
watched your favorite movie- no :( i still need to get the DVD from Hot Topic
talked to someone you have a crush on- yes
given someone a present- Love to you all! *BAM, now i have :) *
missed someone- heck yes...
hugged someone- noo
had a nightmare- no! :)
made a big decision- ya
fought with your parents- sorta..
fought with a friend- no, thank God
been scared- yes..

~WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU~
showered- this morning (AKA 2 or 3 pm?)
ate a meal- umm... define "meal" ...
swam- almost 2 years
told someone they were beautiful- umm does Jesus count?
laughed so hard you cried- umm last night :P the convo from Amanda and Dan on his blog... wow...
what are you wearing right now- sweatpants and tshirt cause i'm coooolldddd... brr.
are you tired- not really. I'm good for another 9 or 10 hours probably, but i really need to get to bed.. its already after one and i need to do some homework in the morning... hahahahaha...
are you lonely- NO! I love it :D :D :D
are you happy- heck yes!
are you hungry- newp
are you eating- nope
are you talking to someone online- yup, Dan. who else is online at 1:17 am?

2005-02-13T15:39:00.000-07:00

OK, so I was thinking...

Imagine climbing a mountain... . Now, compare climbing the mountain to climbing LIFE. You get what I mean? Developing your relationship with God and friends. Imagine starting at the base of the mountain... everything is so easy... easy breathing, good solid ground beneath your feet, plenty of room to do anything you want... but as you climb higher and higher, you have to get rid of things that are hindering your continued climb towards the top. Perhaps you reach a point where you have to leave your tent behind... or you reach a certain point, and everything is just so hard that you have to stop and take a breather and get adjusted to the altitude before you can go on.

Still following me?
OK, here's where it get's complicated...

Now, imagine that you're doing AWESOME, you're having a great time climbing higher and higher... but you're doing everything so fast, that all of a sudden, without any warning, you are gasping for breath, and you slip and fall...
Not ALL the way to the bottom... but you fall back down quite a ways. You fall flat on your back.

*follow me?*

OK... so you've done sooo good, you were so high, and everything was going Awesome. BUT, one moment of weakness, and you fall back down... and are laying there on your back... but the thing is - it's COMFORTABLE here towards the bottom of the mountain on your back.
You've gotten so used to the thin air that this thick, rich air at the bottom is sooo nice...
But the biggest thing is - you're on your back... and you can see the top of the mountain! You're on your back... and you can see from where you fell. You can see everything! Everything except what you left below.. and that's a good thing.

So... here you are towards the bottom of the mountain... you're very comfy.. and you can see everything just fine from where you are. So, what do you do?
Why bother to get back up on your feet and start climbing again, when you already know what's ahead?
-----

Any of that ^ make sense? I really hope so... cause I'm very interested in what you all have to say. It's just been on my mind lately, and I'm tired of thinking into it so deeply... so help me out! :p

Drop a comment if you have a minute. You can even leave it anonymously!

Love to you all, thx much!

2005-02-13T01:29:00.000-07:00

W00T! New music, I removed/added some pictures in my side section... and... that's it! Hooray!

Artist:	Demon Hunter
Album:	Summer Of Darkness
Song:	Summer Of Darkness

I'll be the one last breath before this death
I'll be the final glimpse of truth when there's none left
And if I shame your face, degrade your faith
I'll be the first to hide behind disgrace.
Blood loss on account of my failing aim.
Treason - at the root of my shameful name.
 
I found my way to fall.
I never meant to break your heart.
 
CHORUS:
Breathing in this pain (rejecting all I am)
I hear you cry again (Is this my final stand?)
----------------------


There's the lyrics for all of you with untrained ears who would
say something stupid like "I can't tell what they're saying!"
Bah... cry about it :P I <3 Demon Hunter... so much!
They rock my socks off!  

AND... Good news Hunters!
Demon Hunter goes back into the studio this JULY
to start recording their 3rd album! w00t!
Why so far away... why?

2005-02-12T23:46:00.000-07:00

OK, so since I was stuck home all day, being very bored... I spent about an hour and a half getting my webcam working! It was a pain in the rear, but ya, now i have a webcam. SOoo now you know. That's about it.. now a quiz!

* What's your full name?
Dustin LEE Deckard

* Ever been so drunk you blacked out:
only been drunk on life.. and havent blacked out YET. (we will one day, right Jacie? :)

* Missed work because it was raining:
no, but i might someday :) I love rain.

* Put a body part on fire for amusement:
no comment.

* Been hurt emotionally:
yes.

* Kept a secret from everyone:
used to, not anymore.

* Had an imaginary friend:
hehe... "had?" no. "have?" ...maybe...

* Wanted to hook up with a friend:
maybe

* Had a crush on a teacher:
lol... nope... but I know someone *coughNATHANcough* who may have...

* Ever thought an animated character was hot:
hmm... well, ya.. Ever played ONI? sry.. just being blunt :P

* Had a New Kids on the Block tape:
NO! what is it with all these New Kids on the Block questions? who the heck are they? I dont think I've ever heard anything by them.

* Been on stage:
not since .. 4th grade I think. wait.. 8th grade gradutation speech. And I was in a talent show at church once.. I used to be a yo-yo mastah.

Favorites:
* Song:
My Immortal... Hello... ALL of Evanescence's songs. "I Play Dead" by Demon Hunter, "Summer of Darkness" by DH, "Heartstrings Come Undon" by DH, ALL of Demon Hunters songs... hmm... Blvd. of Broken Dreams... Brick in the Wall... anything and everything by DISCIPLE (wo0t! MARCH 3RD!)

* Band:
Disciple, Demon Hunter, UnderOath, TFK, Still Breathing, Evanescence, The Agony Scene, CHevelle, Creed, Dead Poetic, Finch, Jeremy Camp, KUTLESS, Pillar, sooooooo many more... ALTER BRIDGE... more more more...

* Shampoo:
idk.. orange bottle... who cares?

* Body Wash:
w/e

* Hair Color:
blonde... but getting darker i think..

* Day/Night:
NIGHTowl

* Summer/Winter:
both... AUTUMN

* Lace/Satin:
Satin

* Favorite cartoon person:
Mister CHeif :p

* Favorite Food:
currently? I'm practically addicted to my own scrambled eggs, lol. I know.. i'm a sad, pathetic being, but making eggs is fun! no joke! Ya i'm wierd.

* Favorite Movie:
O gosh... THE CROW, THE MATRIX trilogy, HERO, Orange County, Cold Mountain, Starship Troopers, THEY, THe Blair Witch Project *shudders*, Darkness Falls, THe Mothman Prophecies, The Ring, THe Grudge,

* Favorite Book:
The Bible :) and Sabriel by Garth Nix... The Oath by Frank Perreti.. Bryanna's novel that she abandoned :(.. Queen of the Damned by Ann Rice... THe Death of Ivan Ilyich by Leo Tolstoy... ya, there's tons.. but the HALO TRILOGY is at teh top of teh list! wo0t!

* Favorite Ice Cream:
Cappachino Chunky Chocolate! mmmm...

* Favorite Class:
Newspaper

* Favorite drink:
ROOSTER BOOSTER

* Favorite drink with alcohol:
no alchahol for me, thank you very much.

* Favorite Word(s):
QUINTESSENTIAL

RIGHT NOW-------------------------
* Wearing:
sweat pants & tshirt

* Hair is:
blah.. as always

* Eating:
Club Crackers.. mmmm :)

* Drinking:
water

* Thinking:
wow... soooo many things.. "I'm holding my last breath safe inside myself." <- thats deep.

* Listening to:
Evanescence

* Talking to:
Dan

------------------LAST TIME YOU----------
* Met someone new:
7 days ago.. Kayla!

* Cleaned your room:
hahahahahahhahahaha...

* Drove a car:
TRUCK... today.

-----------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
* Your friends:
more than anything else except God. My friends are AMAZING.

* Santa Claus:
Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny are STupid... Disciple says "Why don't we just tell 'em about JESUS and it might solve some STUFF!?"

* Tooth Fairy:
see above

* Destiny/Fate:
idk...

* Angels:
THE CROW movie poster says "Believe in angels..." so i do! :) lol, not really because of the Crow, but yes, I most certainly believe in angels.

* UFO's:
I believe in Unidentified Flying Saucers, yes. THe government has sooo much technology they don't want us to know about :( But the real question is... are the UFO's from non-human origins?

--------------FRIENDS AND LIFE-----------------
* Who have U known the longest of your friends:
i dont know! most of my current friends i met freshman year.. dont really have any of those friends from middle school anymore.

* Weirdest:
hmm.. idk! Bryanna and Dan's random noises are odd :p

* Who do you go to for advice:
Jesus, Dan, Mr. Loftin

* Who do you cry to:
I've cried to.. Emily and Dan and I think Bryanna

* When did you cry the most:
DID? hmmm this week and last week i think.. idk, I've cried a lot this last month or so.

* Best feeling in the world:
knowing theres someone there who wont ever turn theyre back on u <--that's awesome Jacie! I agree.

* Worst Feeling:
loving someone and wanting more than anything else to just BE THERE for them and help them, but they dont want to have anything to do with you.

* Who will respond to this email the fastest?:
I converted it blog-form! w00t!

* Who did you send this to who won't reply?
see above

* Who sent this to you:
JACIE!

2005-02-12T13:11:00.000-07:00

You've brought this verdict on yourself (before we ever had a chance)
I hope you cry for the one's you've lost.
You built this burden when you fell (you know we never took a glance)
I hope it's worth all the blood it cost.
--------------------------------------

Sometimes I really wish that I could just put 10 or 12 song lyrics on here and

call it an entry...

but I know no one would read them all, let alone decipher what I was trying to say through them. That makes me sad, because sometimes a song just says it all... seriously. You probably know what I'm talking about... but who am I to say what you're even "probably" thinking? Gha... I hate my thought process sometimes. I'll never understand it.

------------------------------

Pull me close
I'm pushed away
Soul is torn
Caught in the fray

My spirit dangles
From a thread
All past hopes
Could now be dead

All these days
It lived to die
In selfish depression
I wonder why

-----------------------------

Seems like years ago I wrote that.. seems freakin wierd that it was only a couple months ago.
Time really does fly... when things are going right.
I hate the fact that out of 51 odd poems I found and re-read last night, I could only
stand a select few of them.

------------------------------

As I clear my mind enough to see
Decaying pieces of my being that have fallen on me
I find the one clean cut that has given the wrath
Beneath the deep and cleansing fire that is shaping the path

----------------------

^ Once again, Demon Hunter says it all.  I love/hate how that works out. 


I'm clinging to a small thread of hope that at least SOME of this is making sense,
but don't 
shoot me if it's not.  Sometime's that's just how it's meant to come out.

-----------

Thoughts, like blood, run (forever staining our hands)
Mouth like cold gun (before the barrel we stand)
The latest and the last (you put a price on my head)
The latest and the last (the worst is already said)

-------------


Blogger is being retarded with me... I don't know if I'll switch to Xanga or not.  
Xanga has been retarded with me, too.  :(  It's like a lose/lose situation.  
O well... aren't they all?

Yikes, I'm depressing. 
I wonder if my depressingness is a very big part of how I'm a bad influence on people.  
I hate that.  Wow... I guess I'm also in an angry mood.  That's retarded.  
Anger is futile... like war.  Hmm...

Ya, I'm done now.

2005-02-10T13:17:00.000-07:00

And I know that you know me better than I know myself...

Hmmmkay.. I'm actually in a really good mood for the first time in a couple days. BETSY YOU ROCK! Disciple is aweseom. I Have two new Disciple CD"S and this is a quick entry. Cyaz~!

2005-02-09T20:26:00.000-07:00

Evanescence
"October"

I can't run anymore,
I fall before you,
Here I am,
I have nothing left,
Though I've tried to forget,
You're all that I am,
Take me home,
I'm through fighting it,
Broken,
Lifeless,
I give up,
You're my only strength,
Without you,
I can't go on,
Anymore,
Ever again.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.

I can't run anymore,
I give myself to you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
In all my bitterness,
I ignored,
All that's real and true,
All I need is you,
When night falls on me,
I'll not close my eyes,
I'm too alive,
And you're too strong,
I can't lie anymore,
I fall down before you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.

Constantly ignoring,
The pain consuming me,
But this time it's cut too deep,
I'll never stray again.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love,
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
-------------

HELLO everybody. Hmm... Those ^ lyrics are goood... awesome. I <3 Evanescence.

And that's about the extent of this entry... cause I'm tired-ish and don't feel like writing. SOoo there. :) Getting another 8 or 9 hours of sleep again tonight... that's exciting. Talk to you all later!

2005-02-08T19:35:00.000-07:00

ALTER BRIDGE LYRICS
"Down To My Last"

And to those to which we sing,
We are honored you let us in
I remember the thoughts of many things,
Of the glory that you bring

I was never the right one to dare to dream,
It's funny what this life has done to me now
You were always the only,
To help me see there was a road I must find,
A road that was mine

But I'm down to my last,
I'm standing here alone
Looking back, on it all
But I'm down to my last,
I'm ready but I'm wrong,
And I'm blind to it all

And to the world to which we sing,
Want to try to do us in
I remember your name and I know your face
Can't forgive and can't erase

I was never the right one
To bear the weight of something fueled by words
I'd learn to hate
You were always the only
To help me see that to love is to shine
In your world, blind

But I'm down to my last
I'm standing here alone
Looking back on it all
But I'm down to my last
I'm ready but I'm wrong
And I'm right to it all

[solo]

But I'm down to my last
Well I'm ready but I'm wrong,
And I'm scared of it all

But I'm down to my last
I'm ready but I'm wrong
And I'm blind to it all
But I'm down to my last
And I'm ready but I'm wrong
And I'm blind to it all
--------------------------------------

Ya.. that ^ song is really good.. i love how there's lyrics for ANY mood I'm ever in... . The only difference between me and those lyrics is that I'm not alone :) Never alone. It's awesome.

So... I wrote the sophomore corner today in Newspaper. It might not make it to the publishers... cause I'm totally demeaning and pretty out-there. Like... really openly dissing our class as a whole and insulting our over-confidence. I actually really hope Mrs. Posson lets me publish it... I'd do it anonymously, but take any heat that it brought gladly. I'm glad our class got fourth place - we totally deserve it.

Ya.. i'm in another wierd mood. I fell asleep very shortly after getting home... not feeling the greatest :( Gonna get to bed really soon tonight. Before 10...

I love Evanescence...

I love The Agony Scene, but i was talking to Scott Good about them today, and he's heard some bad things about the band... :( like, they're very anti-christian, and have switched record labels so that they dont have to be signed by Solid-State anymore... that really sucks if it's true, cause i was really looking foward to their next album... *sigh*

I've *sigh*'ed a lot today. Blah.

There's a good concert this Thursday that Scott invited me to go with him, but I dont think I can make it :( parents suck. Seriously. SO DOES ROSE HILL. Blechhh...

I want the weather to warm up soooo bad... i really want to just go running right now and get away from some stuff.. one good thing about Rose Hill : there's country .. miles of nothing... . There's some railroad tracks about a mile away from my house that i ran down to over the summer quite a few times, and just followed the tracks out however far i wanted to go.. the farther the better. It was wierd though.. cause I would always have to make myself stop and turn back, cause I could just keep walking farther and farther away...

Hmm... I think I'm definately screwed up in the head.
Yup.

Most definately.

I'm done now.

2005-02-06T23:53:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling locked inside my head...
remembering everything you said.
------------------------------

Why are the simplest things always the one's that drive me crazy? I don't understand this at all. You know what? I am a very weak, pathetic little human being. Seriously. But... aren't we all?

Homecoming was a blast... lots of fun there. Dinner wasn't too bad, even though I hate Italian for the most part. The chicken alfredo was okay. The chocolate fountain was absolutely glorious. Cream puffs, strawberries, cherries, biscotti, cookies, pinapple, and more! O, the blisss, with three s's. THEN, there was more food at Nathan's. Ya... I'm sensing a pattern. I must like to talk about food. Too bad Austin dropped the spoon in the steaming hot nacho cheese. Tsk tsk.

hmm... I g2g. Tired all of a sudden. Or not. W/e. I'm so confused. Ya, I'm leaving now.

2005-02-05T01:29:00.000-07:00

Words can't kill the light inside me,

that tears me from the hate that binds me.

------------------------------------------

Lots of stuff going on... kind of confused lately. Not really confused... just ... impatient, i guess. Make sense? I suppose not.

I've been wayyy too worried about my schedule lately. I want to take Newspaper, Creative Writing, and Desktop Publishing all next year... but Desktop is the same hour as Newspaper (was this year), so that might not work out... and creative writing might end up being B7 also! that would suck. BUT, i have 4 Bible class options, since Brock and Grace tell me that i CAN take senior Bible next year. I'd rather take that than Servant Leadership or Ethics or Family/Choices... cause, ya.

I'm not a HUGE fan of high school, but I don't want it to end. Hmm... sound wierd to anyone but myself? A part of me is anxious to take on the world by myself, but it seems as if that part of me is so belittled lately. I'm actually enjoying life right now, and I dont want it to change :( Bah... random rants rock.

It's like, as high schoolers, we have this (at least I do) image of this big drop-off cliff after graduation... and it's like, everything is going to change after that. :( Everything will be new and different... . :_( stupid time.. stupid age.. stupid grades... they should all be poked in the eye with really hot french fries.

^^^ see what I worry about? It's retarded.

I'm totally rambling by now...

Artist: Skillet
Album: Alien Youth
Song: Come My Way

Just to see your face and touch the healer's hand
Desperate, I push through the crowd
If I could touch your clothes
I could feel your power

Come my way

Please look
And notice me
Just to release my pain
Just to know your name

Come my way I'm out of touch
I'm out of reach
I've got the faith to believe
Am I out of touch or out of reach
What would it take for you to walk towards me

I'm out of touch, out of reach
But I'm running towards you and it's all I believe

Come my way

Just a touch
--------------------------------------

Soooooo ya... good good good song.

Disciple!!!! Thursday night, March 3rd... doors open @ 6:30, concert starts @ 7pm... $12 at the door... $10 in advance... will last till about 9:30 probably... . YOU SHOULD COME!

ANNND ya, that's about it.

S33k the 7ruth.

2005-01-29T22:18:00.000-07:00

Hmmm not a lot is going on, at all. I woke up at 3 today, which is late, even for me. Ate "breakfast" of bacon and eggs. Mmmm...
Probably going to the mall tomorrow. Hopefully... or else this will turn into another boring weekend spent at the house, which is not good for me at all. :( I hate boredom. It sucks.

You know what happens on March 3rd?
*raises hand*
I DO!

DISCIPLE

YEP!!! They're coming BACK AGAIN, and I'm super pumped.
Disciple rocks my socks. Twice. And then a third time, just for fun.
You know they actually have a song called "You Rock My Socks Off"? Its so awesome. Here are some shweeet lyrics though....

Artist:	Disciple
Album:	What Was I Thinking
Song:	My Daddy Can Whip Your Daddy

My God is I am who I am

The spotless Lamb

He's the Son of Man

He's the absolute perfection

He's my resurrection

And by God he's my protection!



God is good, God is good

He's so freak'n awesome!



Chorus

Draw close to Him

He draws close to me

His children are as the sands to the sea

He placed in me a redemption song

And when He's weakest He's still strong



My God is as gentle as a dove come from above

Unconditional love

He's sacrificial through His son

Second to none

He's the almighty Holy one!



God is so good I love Him so much

He's done so much for me

My Daddy can whip your daddy!

-----------------------

I LOVE how Disciple has no problem just screaming out "He's so freak'n awesome!!!" Cause thats... idk, but its Awesome!!! :)

Ok.. I'm done now.

2005-01-29T01:02:00.000-07:00

"My kitten walks on velvet feet, and makes no sound at all. And in the doorway nightly sits to watch the darkness fall. I think he loves the lady night..."

-----------------------------------------------

Okay.. so, I thought I'd do a little story telling... because no one has watched The Crow, so they have no idea why Crows are so awesome, or why I love THe Crow so much. So, hopefully I can do this well enough to make some sort of sense...

It all starts with Bruce Lee. You know the guy... martial arts genius. BRUCE LEE. You've heard of him. Well, he had a son... an amazing son... named BRANDON BRUCE LEE, or just Brandon Lee, so as not to be confused with his father. Now.. the sad thing is, Bruce Lee died of a rare brain edema in 1973, when Brandon Lee was only 9 years old. Brandon Lee is the star of The Crow. Brandon has quite an interesting story... he was expelled from high school once for missbehavior, and dropped out a second time. When he finally got his diploma, he went to a small college and majored in Drama, because he had recognized that he had picked up a lot of the acting and martial arts skills from his father. After playing only a few roles and only one lead role in a movie, he was cast as Eric Draven for the movie THe Crow. By this time, he had asked his fiance to marry him, and the wedding was scheduled for that April.

*This is where it gets sad*

Filming The Crow went quickly to stay on budget, but also consisted of many unsafe compromises, such as letting security officers and stuntmen go home, to lower cost of filming.

While filming the scene in the movie where Eric Draven dies (the very last scheduled-to-be-filmed scene with a gun in it), a terrible, terrible thing happened :( Brandon was shot. Literally.

In the scene, Brandon Lee was supposed to be shot by character "Funboy" with a blank. However, that day, the film crew had fired the gun safety manager so they could save a few bucks, and it ended up killing Brandon Lee. The gun had accidently been left with a real slug in it, but not the actual bullet casing. Just the slug... loaded with blank powder. And with the gun set up to fire blanks, it had twice as much gunpowder, so that there would be more of a flash and louder noise. Unfortunately, this meant that the metal slug still in the gun would be fired into Brandon Lee's stomach at twice the normal speed, and ended up becoming lodged in his spine. The director continued filming this scene, thinking that Brandon was doing a remarkable job "dieing" on stage, and they continued filming until they noticed the uncontrollable bleeding. Brandon Lee was rushed to the hospital, put under surgery which FAILED, and died 13 hours later.

So... over 400 people attended brandons funeral, including people like Stephen Seagal, etc. His mother was devastated, but worse... his fiance, who's wedding to Brandon was a mere 13 days away.

Later, The Crow was finished, in honor of Brandon Lee, and amazed audiences worldwide with its incredible special effects and dramatic story. :) I love The Crow. Its soooo sad! Especially the story behind the story. Now, 10 years after the movie's Halloween 1994 release, The Crow has become a sort of cult-favorite hit. Been to Hot Topic lately? Check out all The Crow merch.

So.. even though this was long, drawn out and boring... :-P it was fun, cause I'm sorta bored. But thats ok!

Next time u see me wearing an Evanescence shirt, dont say, "Hey, why the heck is she kissing a crow? thats retarded!" Cause I'll be offended. OOOO bam.

I found the original script for The Crow. The one they were GOING to use before Brandon Died and they had to pick and choose which scenes to put in, etc... cause.. well, he was dead, so they could only use what they had.

Ehmm... and for the record... all of THe Crow sequels or knock-offs suck except The Crow: Salvation. Hmmm ok. I'm done now.

2005-01-28T22:24:00.000-07:00

- Current Clothes: jeans and tshirt
- Current Mood: really happy :)
- Current Music: Jeremy Camp - "Take me back"
- Current Taste: Powerade MOUNTAIN BLAST
-up: huh? hmm ok. UP? well, my spirits are up.
- Current Hair: meh...
-be: uhh...
- Current Smell: axe.. i guess... that was this morning... so idk.
- Current thing I ought to be doing: idk! seriously... this is like, the best thing icould be doing right now. +talking to friends online.
- Current Desktop Picture: the hero of "Darkwatch: Curse of the West" coming out of his coffin/grave... kinda creepy.. why do I have this?
- Current Favorite song: "Take Me Back" by Jeremy Camp
- Current Favorite Group: Kutless *cough bring CD cough*, TFK, Evanescence, Norma Jean, Pillar, Dead Poetic, etc... tons of 'em.
- Current Book: Heart of Darkness
- Current CD in CD Player: Norma Jean's cd "Bless the martyr - Kiss the child"
- Current tape in VCR: VHS? lol... The Terminater 2
- Current Color Of Toenails: whatever color they're supposed to be
- Current Refreshment: Powerade.. except i'm out. it sucks.
- Current Worry: for friends

[ LAST PERSON.. ]
- You Touched: uhh idk? Emily/Dan
- You Talked to: EMily
- You Hugged: idr
- You Instant messaged: Tim from Minnesota, lol
- You Yelled At: crud... Bryanna :( I'm sry!
- You Kissed: roit...

[ FAV0RITE .. ]
- Foods: too many.. but QT Taquitos is up there on the list :-P mmm...
- Drink: Rooster Booster
- Color: black, red, silver
- Album: ehmm.. "Origin" by Evanescence (limited release, can't buy it) or "Summer of Darkness" by Demon Hunter.. or "Back Again" by Disciple.. "Bless the Martyr, Kiss the CHild" by Norma Jean... "New Medicines" by Dead Poetic... "ONE DAY REMAINS" by ALTER BRIDGE heck yes.
- Shoes: eh I need new shoes
- Candy: skittles... i guess.. sure
- Animal: Crow.
- TV Show: X-Files, though i havent watched it in like 2 months...
- Vegetable: Po-ta-toes
- Fruit: grapes.. sure
- Cartoon: uhmmmm... the original The Crow graphic novels... FOAMY... the old starship troopers cartoons... Samurai Jack!!!!

[ ARE Y0U .. ]
- Understanding: i think i am.. hope i am
- Open-minded: i try my darndest to be
- Arrogant: shoot me now if i am
- Insecure: not really anymore
- Interesting: heck no
- Easily Amused: by some things.. aka all thing The Crow, Hot Topic, rock music, THe Matrix, Poe, friends, idk... lots of stuff. Shiny things, even.
- Random: a lot of the time, ya i think.
- Hungry: newp
- Friendly: trying my hardest
- Smart: as smart as Jesus made me :)
- Moody: when i get depressed
- Childish: naw, i dont think so
- Independent: I can be, but don't want to anymore.
- Healthy: not generally
- Emotionally Stable: HA! as if.
- Shy: not really, i dont think?
- Difficult: I really can be :(
- Bored Easily: not in a while.
- Messy: ya, pretty much.
- Thirsty: yup
- Responsible: with things that i want to be...
- Obsessed: hmmm ya...
- Angry: nope
- Sad: ya :(
- Happy: ya :)
- Hyper: newp, just relaxed
- Trusting: I have to get to know you first.. either that, or you pour out your own heart first and then i have no problem returning the favor.
- Talkative: when I'm in the mood, heck yes.

[ WH0 D0 Y0U WANT T0 .. ]
- Kill: Satan, and maybe the idiot who didnt clean out the prop guns very well on the set of The Crow :( thats why I'm sad..
- Slap: see above
- Get High With: how bout... JACIE! cause we would just use LIFE!
- Tickle: ehmm... idk, who do i?
- Look Like: I. Am. Me.
- Talk To Online: everyone!

[ HAVE Y0U EVER .. ]
- Been kissed? newp
- Done Drugs? nothing illegal or for bad purposes
- Eaten an entire package of Oreos? probably
- Been on stage? ya... 1st grade *shudders*
- Dumped Someone? newp
- Gotten in a car accident? newp
- Been in love? with God

[ FAV0URITE .. ]
-Shampoo? orange bottle.. thats all i know
-Toothpaste? w/e
-Soap? uhh w/e
-Room in your house? ya right...
-Instrument? to listen to? Piano.. played by my friends or Amy Lee. THen flute and guitar, of course..

[ EITHER/0R/BOTH. .. ]
-Coffee or hot chocolate? coffee, but hot choco SOMEtimes
-big or little? both
-Lace or satin? uhh lace? as long as its modest. Wait.. is this even talking about clothes? what the heck?
-New or old? both
-Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt? Cruise, cause he's in THe Last Samurai, and he's the star of the not-out-yet WAR OF THE WORLDS
-Vogue or Cosmopolitan? blech
-Jeans or cords? shwat are "cords"? corduroys? uhh Jeans.
-Sweater or sweatshirt? sweatshirt
-T-shirt or tank top? tshirt
-Skirt or dress? uhhh hello...
-Wool or cotton? Cotton.. sure
-Rose or Lily? black rose :)
-Oldies or pop? depends on what you call "oldies."
-Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? newp
-Do you have a best friend? yup

[ IN THE LAST 24 H0URS, HAVE Y0U .. ]
- Cried? Yesssss
- Helped someone? yup
- Bought something? uhh a drink? lunch?
- Gotten sick? not really, but i have an annoying stuffed up nose
- Gone to the movies? nope
- Gone out for dinner? no
- Said "I love you"? ya
- Written a real letter? no
- Moved on? yes, actually.. but thats a really really vague question.
- Talked to an ex? dont have any
- Missed an ex? see above
- Talked to someone you have a crush on? yes
- Had a serious talk? heck yes
- Missed someone? ya
- Hugged someone? idr
- Fought with your parents? no!!! omg!
- Fought with a friend? not really

[ D0 Y0U .. ]
- Wear eye shadow? u know it
- Put on a "front"? nope, not nemore
- Have a crush on someone? talvez (is that one word or two? idk..)
- Eat with your mouth open? nooo
- If you got a tattoo, where would you get it? H-A-L-O across my right hand knuckles, or something on the bottom side of my arm
- What color is your floor/carpet in your room? a wierd color
- What was the last CD you bought? hahahaha... i dont remember! i think it was Alter Bridge. yup.. definately Alter Bridge. that was before school started...
- How did you spend last summer? badly...
- When's the last time you showered? this morning
- Are you happy? yup, in general
- Are you wearing pajamas? not unless i end up falling asleep in these clothes.. cause then i guess they'd be pj's
- What is your astrological sign? saggittarus

2005-01-27T23:27:00.000-07:00

Check that...
I'm in an AWESOME mood!!!!!! :)
God is so good, it blows me away.

2005-01-27T21:49:00.000-07:00

I Love Disciple

thursday, march 3

------------------------------------------

You know what? I'm in a pretty good mood. I seriously loved the chapel message today.. it was just awesome. I hope everyone really got what the dude was trying to comminicate. It made me feel really really really blessed, hence, the UnkyMood. Soo ya. I hope all of you guys know that you could call me or IM me or email me or WHATEVER me anytime, and I'll always listen and do what i can. My amazing friends always do the same for me. :) Thanks so much. Ok... lyrics that I think apply to today, and are just awesome....

Artist: Jeremy Camp
Album: Restored
Song: Breathe

You fill my empty soul
I’ll give you all control
You take this heart of mine
And make the pieces whole
You broke this fear inside
I’ll leave these cares behind
You take this simple mold
And sanctify my mind
You formed me before I was known
I was made your own now
Breathe in me
Breathe the breath of life
It’s more than I can see
You took on everything to make me feel complete
You answered every call
You’re never far from reach
You lift me when I fall
You break down every wall
You feel my every need I dedicate my all
You took this failed attempt to stand and
You carry me now
I won’t hesitate to call
When I’m empty from within
And I know the source of life
Are the very words you give
You formed me before I was known
And I was made your own now
--------

I find it kinda ironic how much of that song just APPLIES. Seriously... it's awesome.

Ok... quick email story, it's really good!

> When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours

> in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the coffee...

> A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in

> front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very

> large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

> He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

> The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the

> jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas

> between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was

> full. They agreed it was.

> The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

> Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the

> jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

> The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and

> poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty

> space between the sand. The students laughed.

> "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided," I want you to

> recognize that this jar represents your life.

> The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, your

> children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things

> that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would

> still be full.

> The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house,

> and your car.

> The sand is everything else - the small stuff.

> "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no

> room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you

> spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have

> room for the things that are important to you.

> Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play

> with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner

> out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the

> house and fix the disposal."

> Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set

> your priorities. The rest is just sand."

> One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee

> represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to

> show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room

> for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

> Please share this with someone you care about. I JUST DID.

---------

'night everybody.

2005-01-26T19:01:00.000-07:00

Hmm ok, so.. something that NO ONE has done in FOREVER… SHOUTOUTS!!!!

EMILY: You are soo much more awesome, and yes, I WIN. I’m a stupid bird, you’re a beautiful redwood. There’s only room for one bird at the top, eh? Well, I’ve shot a bird before (bb gun), so lets just say… pity the bird who is in my way :D Not really… but that’s a good enough example. I haven’t SEEN Peter Pan, and I’ll only watch it with one certain person. Yes, I know… I shouldn’t be encouraging you to watch R-rated movies, but you really do need to see the Matrix trilogy. You might cry during Revolutions… actually, I kind of hope you would, because I would be crying, and it would be awkward if you had to comfort me while you were just thinking “what the heck… what a loser, it’s a sci-fi movie!!!” Because YES, I’m a loser. You’ve SEEN many a chick-flick, but the saddest movie ever has still got to be HERO or THE CROW, and the mushiest love movie I’ve ever SEEN is definitely PHENOMINON. Best quote from that movie,
“Will you love me till the day I die?” … “No… I’ll love you till the day I die.”
You’re not a quitter, you’re room isn’t messy, and you ARE a flutist/harpist/pianist studdess, as well as an awesome singer/dancer/actor/writer. SHPOW! Remember, you are loved soo much J Sooo ya, have an amazing night!

DAN: Hi. It’s harder to write a shout out to a guy than it is a girl… o well. You’re there for me like, every single day, I can trust you and count on you when times are hard, and you don’t know how much I appreciate it. I think/hope you already know this, but don’t ever hesitate to call me or email me or anything. You know I’ll always listen and do anything I can to help. You weren’t at school today, and that’s sad. We left you voicemails. It was fun. How many did we end up doing? It’s fun to see how people react when you ask them to do a random act of kindness. O, and guess what? DISCIPLE AND STAPLE – MARCH 3 (it’s a Thursday) and we’re going. Yup, at Ground Zero, and I’m very excited. I haven’t been to a concert in like 6 months or something. So, we should go. Remember, God is good, all the time J O ya, did you say you were taking Desktop Publishing for sure next year? Cause it fits with my schedule so I’m doing it. That should be fun/slightly boring :P but o well. Ttyl.

BRYANNA: Hey you. Homage to the dead fish. Gone but sure as heck not forgotten :P Sometimes things can be soo confusing, and nothing makes sense, and it always seems easier to just let the flood wash you away… but don’t! You got what it takes, bigtime, in everything. Don’t stress about your future life, it’s under control, and you best not doubt that fact. Try to relax, have more FUN in life, enjoy the little things, keep up that spontaneity – people love it, and never doubt yourself. Whether it’s Emporia or Concordia or whatever those fine places are called, you’ll be amazing. You know how to relate to people and make them feel comfortable, and you really know how to analyze something and help fix a problem. J Philippians 4:6

Ehhh ok… so I’m tired and don’t really know what to write anymore. I promise I’ll do more shoutouts or w/e. Uhm ya! I’m way excited for Disciple! Wo0t! Definitely. Ok… ttyl.

2005-01-25T22:13:00.000-07:00

I <3 the Sep7agon

----------------------

I dont have anything to update on :( I'm boring.

2005-01-22T21:45:00.000-07:00

Three names you go by:

Dustin
Dusty (if you MUST... :(
Spartan_666 (on Xbox Connect)

Three screennames you have:

MSN: man_of_war@msn.com
Yahoo: iamamusicpirate
AIM: Pr0ph37of7ru7h

Three things you like about yourself:

I'm glad I enjoy reading...
I'm a pretty free-thinker, I challenge most things...
I love metal music!!!!

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:

I'm a procrastinator and dont like schoolwork...
Well, i dont know if I actually dislike this about me, but I will cry over anything, seriously...
I hate the fact that I used to hate myself...

Three parts of your heritage:

Scottish
Irish
Swedish (I think)

Three things that scare you:

The world in general, everything about it...
The ocean...
Being alone in a forest in the middle of the night *shudders* Blair Witch Project = scary...

Three of your everyday essentials:

God...
Talking to friends...
Music...

Three things you are wearing right now:

Bracelet...
Bracelet...
SOCKS! :)

Three of your favourite bands/artists (at the moment):

Evanescence...
Kutless...
Pillar...

Three of your favourite songs at present:

Glass In the Trees - by Dead Poetic...
My Immortal - by Evanescence...
My Throat is an Open Grave - by Demon Hunter...

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:

ballroom dancing :) ...
watch Peter Pan...
go to an Oscilate or Surphace concert (local bands rock!)...

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):

God...
complete and total willing honesty...
forgiveness and appreciation...

Two truths and a lie:

I've beaten Halo 2 on legendary...

I've watched The Matrix over 20 times...

I occasionally use charcoal lighter to appease my pyromanical urges...

Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:

a physical appearance that says "hey! - you shouldnt care about my physical appearance!"...
Modesty is awesome!...
deep eyes...

Three things you just can't do:

Dance to rap... what the heck!!!...
Enjoy listening to country...
get enough of The Matrix or Quenton Tarantino or Poe...

Three of your favourite hobbies:

Blogging...

Just sitting and listening to music, focusing on the lyrics...

Purpose Driven Life, heck yes...
Three things you want to do really badly right now:

Mosh...
Go to Cumberland Falls and just sit there staring at the waterfall... hmm...
go get some cookies from upstairs...

Three careers you're considering:

no clue
no clue
no clue

Three places you want to go on vacation:

England...
Washtington...
New Zealand (sp?)...

Three kids names:
idk... this would be awkward...
...
...

Three things you want to do before you die:

Witness the placing of the 3 red roses and half-empty bottle of Cognac on Poe's grave on his birthday :_( ...
Skydive...
Intern at the Bungie headquarters...

2005-01-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

`` * have y0u ever played this game *
[x] monopoly
[x] clue
[x] monopoly jr.
[ ] clue jr.
[ ] topple
[x] jenga
[x] hungry hippo
[x] pictionary
[x] scrabble
[ ] scrabble jr.
[ ] ((the game of)) LIFE
[x] trouble !

`` * have y0u ever watched thiis moviie *
[ ] Big Fish
[ ] Big Momma's House
[ ] Mean Girls
[ ] Chasing Amy
[ ] Ferris Bueller's Day Off
[ ] Jay and Silent Bob
[ ] Dogma
[ ] Crossroads
[x] Freaky Friday
[ ] Twas the Night Before Christmas
[ ] Office Space
[ ] Old School
[ ] Serendipity
[ ] Drumline
[ ] Chicago
[ ] SLC Punk
[ ] Empire Records
[ ] One Hour Photo
[x] The Ring
[ ] Uptown Girls
[x] The Perfect Storm

`` * have y0u ever seen thiis Tv sh0w *
[ ] degrassi
[ ] GvB
[x] 7th heaven
[x] power rangers
[x] real world or road rules
[x] battle for ozzfest
[ ] motormouth
[ ] unfabulous
[x] lizzie mcguire
[x] my so called life
[ ] date my mom
[x] pimp my ride

`` * rand0m have y0u ever'sz *
[ ] bungee jumped
[ ] sky dived
[ ] para*sailed
[x] been out of your country
[ ] spent $1000+ on clothes
[x] cut your own or a friiend's haiir
[ ] cursed out your parents or a teacher
[ ] used a fake ID
[x] drank underage
[ ] smoked pot or any other drugs
[ ] smoked a cigarette

2005-01-21T23:37:00.000-07:00

Hey you... I love your soul!
----------------------------------

Heyyyyyy everybody! Today was fun! School = not tooo shabby... after school a bunch of us just hung out around the commons for like.. .literally 3 hours... it was kinda wierd :P And then Dan, Beckah and I went over to Emilys house for while. :) Pillow fights are much fun!
Have you ever smelled like lemonade, rasberry, sweet pea, peach, old person, and about 5 or 6 other scents.. all at once? *raises hand* I HAVE! Its not very cool :P You're not missing much.

Note to self: when attempting to get "revenge".. make sure you have the RIGHT STUFF in your hand before spraying it all over someones shirt... AKA not the body lotion... lol.. wow.

Hmm.. What is with this short entryness lately? The words used to flow, now they're forced. O well.
Scholars Bowl League Tourniment tomorrow (saturday)!!! I have to be at school in 4 and a half hours... blah. Maybe I just won't go to sleep at all, hmm? They'd better have good food at the tourniment :P I'm a porker.
I found out today that i can NOT do a one handed push up, for the life of me. NOPE! I tried, it hurt, i gave up. Bad me.

And the usual lyrics... :)

Artist:	Skillet
Album:	Hey You, I Love Your Soul
Song:	Locked In A Cage

I wanna be locked in a cage
I wanna be starpped in a chair
I wanna be where you are
If my insanity comes
Wrapped up inside you

I wanna break my legs
In case of thought to escape
Keep the hammer out of my reach
If my pounding impulse comes
Wrapped up inside Your arms....
Locked up inside You

Hold me down 'cause I want to know You
You bring calm to my rage
You are life and I'm thristing for You

Hold me, hold me, locked in a cage
I love to be caught in you
I wanna be trapped in Your arms
Your cage is rest to my bones
Your cage is peace to my soul
Wrapped up inside Your arms
Wrapped up inside You

Hold me down 'cause I want to know You
You bring calm to my rage
You are life and I'm thristing for You
Hold me, hold me, locked in a cage
Wrapped up inside Your arms
Wrapped up inside Your arms
I'm inside Your arms

I'm inside Your arms
Hold me down 'cause I want to know You
You bring calm to my rage
You are life and I'm thristing for You

Hold me, hold me, locked in a cage

2005-01-19T23:08:00.000-07:00

Just another day in the neighborhood...

Dont know where i got that ^^, isnt it from Mr. Rogers? idk.
Blah.. i feel terrible. Fell asleep today at like 7, listening to music... woke up at 10, dazed and confused... i thought my mom was asking me if i was going to school or not.. so i thought it was the morning... and it was weird... blah. Hope i dont get sick... i hate sickness.

I've been listening to WAYFM a lot lately... (ya.. sry Nathan... BUT - ZFM still lives on :D), and even though they only place approximately 17 different songs :-P... some of them are really good. Like.. people I'd never heard of before... like Ginny Owens. Gotta find some more music by this chick... she rocks my socks. I dont know if she actually plays the piano or not... but if she does, then she's awesome. I heard this song and was just like... idk... it hit me, and i lok it a lot.

If You Want Me To

by: Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken

The signs are unclear

I can't find the reason why You led me here

But just because You love me the way that You do

I will go through the valley

If You want me to

Now I'm not who I was

When I took my first step

And I'm clinging to the promise

You're not through with me yet

And if all of these trials can make me like You

I will go through the fire

If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen

'Cause it leads me through a world that's not my home

But You never said it would be easy

Only that I'll never go alone

When the whole world turns against me

And I'm all by myself

And I can't hear You answer my cries for help

I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through

And I will go through the valley

If You want me to

------------

That song is amazing... seriously. I hope you read the lyrics.. they're awesome to the mizzax.
They remind me that things we've got to do as Christians aren't always going to be the things we WANT to do. Heck, they're RARELY the things we want to do, if ever. BUT... love outshadows everything else, and when we're focusing on that, then everything else seems dumb.

I love The Message version of the Bible... i think it's awesome. You know.. like, the whole, central theme of THE CROW? Its "love never dies" or "Love is forever." Check this out...

I CORINTHIANS 13:8-10
⁸Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. ⁹We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. ¹⁰But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
-------------

That rocks! I love it. Ya...
Ok... everyone have an awesome day!!!!

Lift it up

2005-01-19T01:12:00.000-07:00

Then I asked "Have you ever felt abandoned?

Felt so lost that you were stranded,

Just like all the walls are closing in,

And you were left inside?

Have you ever felt like your days were numbered?

Stuck under a tree in thunder..

Seems to be no way out....

But there is One when in doubt!!!

------------------------------------

Heya... wuts up? Bah... TERRIBLE way to start an entry... which is why I didnt technically start it with that... . Okay, so ya know what? God is good. That is like.. my motto of the year/forever. The Purpose Driven Life suggests getting a "1 second prayer" and repeating it in your head as often as you can. So, i guess that's my 1 second prayer. When something happens... even something stupid and insignificant like stubbing my toe... that phrase should still be the first thing that pops into my head. At least that's the theory.. :P Its working, though.

Tomorrow at school = baaad... Geometry test... blah. I REALLY need to do my homework more... its killing me. Why wont I do it? What the heck? I'm a retard.

Me and Dan talked to Mr. Landis about our views on small groups today. It was.. interesting. I'm glad he at least agreed with most everything we said. Too bad he didnt really provide us with the solution we wanted, though. Ahh well.

I just had a crazy thought... you think the TA faculty ever get bored and just search the web for TA students? What DOES Mr. Swank do in his office all day, exactly? That would be creepy. Perhaps I should password-enable my blog. Wouldnt you feel special, then? Randomness.

Randomness.... sounds like Tumnus.

Ok... done now. Hoo-ray for uper short entry action, once again!

BUT.. .first, the sacred song lyrics that i KNOW you always read ;) This is an awesome song though... like, my favorite worship i think. WAIT... no, second fave. Disciple tops this one... but this one is awesome. I had the privilage to hear it in concert of this last summer! Kelsea Shaw and Resa Wolf were there... just totally randomly remembered that. It was a very busy, sold out concert. I actually got my tickets like 3 weeks ahead of time, and still barely got them. It rocked. OOOOK I'm stopping now...

Artist:
Thousand Foot Krutch
Album:
Set It Off
Song:
Lift ItThrough my temptation to walk away,
and through the endless troubled days,
there's a hundred million ways,
for me to release your praise;
and by and by, and through the tears,
and things you've taught me through the years,
my whole life was designed by you,
I'll never know anyone half as true;
I lift it up, I lift it up,
lift it up so you can see,
I lift it up, I lift it up,
lift it up from inside of me;
So I lift it, I lift it up to you,
and I will never forget,
the times that we've been through,
so I lift it, I said I lift it up to you;
And I surrender all of me,
to you, to you, to you, and
everything I'll ever be, to you, to you, to you,
and I surrender all of me;

Sometimes.. life makes sense. But most of the time, we aren't so fortunate.

2005-01-17T21:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes... life makes sense. But most of the time, we aren't so fortunate.

Wow.. i dont even know what to write. AT ALL. Nothing's coming to mind.. so I'm rambling on like this, because that always seems to work.

Random Topic #1: Are you Lutheran? Join Emily and Adam in the "Convert Dustin to Lutheran" club.... and good luck. You might need it.

Random Topic #2: Emily is like a great, California Redwood.

Random Topic #3: I REALLY hate it when my friends are sad.

Random Topic #4: It's like.. the best feeling EVER to see how one thing led to another.. and another.. and another.. and to actually see how God's worked through everything.

Random Topic #5: I'm out of random topics!!

Random Topic #6: wait.. no I'm not!

Random Topic #7: I firmly believe that God created all types of music. Do you? And i know... it's soooo stinking hard to just accept that GOD is responsible for country music... but hey.. God is good.

Random Topic #8: ok.. now i'm pretty sure I'm done with this drawn out and sad little list.
-----------

OK... Not much else to say. Ha! a short entry for once. Here's some goooood lyrics.... does anyone have this CD? I love this song.

Artist:	Jeremy Camp
Album:	Restored
Song:	Take You Back

The reason why I stand

The answer lies in you

You hung to make me strong

Though my praise was few

When I fall and bring your name down



But I have found in you

A heart that pleads forgiveness

Replacing all these thoughts

Of painful memories

But I know

That your response will always be



(Chorus)

I'll take you back always

And even when your fight is over now

Even when your fight is over now

I'll take you back always

And even when the pain is coming through

Even when the pain is coming through

I'll take you back



You satisfy this cry

Of what I'm looking for

And I take all I can

And lay it down

Before the throne of endless grace, now

That radiates what's true



I'm in the only place

That erases all these faults

That have overtaken me

But I know

That your response will always be



(Repeat Chorus)



I can only speak

With a grateful heart

As I'm pierced by this gift

Of your love



I will always bring an offering

I can never thank you enough



You'll take me back always

And even when my fight is over now

Even when my fight is over now

You'll take me back always

And even when my pain is coming through

Even when my pain is coming through

You'll take me back always



Even when my fight is over now

Even when my fight is over now



You'll take me back always



Even when my pain is coming through

Even when my pain is coming through



You'll take me back

--------
God bless.

...

2005-01-16T01:10:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I dont understand ANYTHING. At all, hands down. Its like I'm 100% completely helpless, and everything just .. happens. I'll never know why.. at least not on this earth, and I'll certainly never understand most of it. It just happens. Argh... dont even remember why i wrote that.
THe last like... 4 days have all had their major UPS, and the their big DOWNS. I mean.. what the heck? Can't i just be happy? I can deal with being sad all day, and i can certainly deal with being happy all day, but this crud with going from a way awesome mood, to crappy "well that blows my day" moodness is killing me. My emotions are screwed over. Well, i think they have been for way too long, but ya.
Sry... that was sad, and pointless, but who cares.
When all else fails.. there's the Bible (literally). This is like.. my new favorite chapter/verse.

PSALMS 42

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
so I long for you, O God.

² I thirst for God, the living God.
When can I come and stand before him?

³ Day and night, I have only tears for food,
while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,
"Where is this God of yours?"

⁴ My heart is breaking
as I remember how it used to be: I walked among the crowds of worshipers,
leading a great procession to the house of God, singing for joy and giving thanks--
it was the sound of a great celebration!

⁵ Why am I discouraged?
Why so sad? I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again--
my Savior and ⁶my God! Now I am deeply discouraged,
but I will remember your kindness-- from Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan,
from the land of Mount Mizar.

⁷ I hear the tumult of the raging seas
as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.

⁸ Through each day the LORD pours his unfailing love upon me,
and through each night I sing his songs,
praying to God who gives me life.

⁹ "O God my rock," I cry,
"Why have you forsaken me? Why must I wander in darkness,
oppressed by my enemies?"

¹⁰ Their taunts pierce me like a fatal wound.
They scoff, "Where is this God of yours?"

¹¹ Why am I discouraged?
Why so sad? I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again--
my Savior and my God!

------------

Artist:	Skillet
Album:	Alien Youth
Song:	You Are My Hope

Times are hard

Times have changed

Don't you say

But I keep holding on to you

It's hard to keep the faith alive day to day

Leaning on the strength I've found in you

You're the hope of all the Earth



You are my hope

You are my strength

You're everything

Everything I need

You are my hope

You are my life

You are my hope

You are my hope



Far beyond what I can see or comprehend

Etching your eternity in me

Nations stream and angels sing, "Jesus reigns"

And every knee bows down

You're the hope of all the Earth



You are my hope

You are my strength

You're everything

Everything I need

You are my hope

You are my life

You are my hope

You are my hope



Carry on and I sing of how

You love and I love you now

All the times that I start to sink

You come and you rescue me

You are my hope

You are my hope

--------------------

Ya, things can be down, things can suck, but even if your hopes have been beaten around, smashed, shattered, regurgitated and burned, you can ALWAYS place them in God.. and they won't go anywhere. They'll stay right there, in His arms, safe from anything and everything.

Thanks for listening.

So many things to say... so little brain capacity.

2005-01-14T22:14:00.000-07:00

Most all of today was completely awesome for me. C days stink.. but I'm starting to enjoy school and life in general a lot more.
Today was fun :) School, then the mall with Dan and Emily, then a couple basketball games, then home, basically. Lots of stuff happened, but I dont really feel like writing all about it :P Ask me if ya want.
Just in an amazing mood! :)
THis song is incredible... just awesome and powerful...

Artist:	Ten Shekel Shirt
Album:	Much
Song:	Peace With You

Chorus:

It's nice to be at peace with You

It's fine with me to be close to You



My eyes are fixed on You, oh Lord

I see You, I see You

My hands are clean

My heart is pure

You washed me, thank You



I used to be attracted to

The things of this world

And I used to be at war with You

Now I'm fighting on Your side



chorus



My love for You is unashamed

I love You, I love You

My guilt is gone, I'm free to fly

Inside, inside



I used to be entangled by

The things of this world

And I used to seem so far from You

Now I feel You by my side

-------------------

AHh ya, its awesome. Ok people... short update, but deal with it :)
Ttyl...

wo0t!

2005-01-13T21:59:00.000-07:00

So... today was awesome. YET, it still had its ups and downs. I think more ups than downs, though ;) I asked Emily to homecoming today :) She said yes! But since I'm a moron, I didnt even hear it the first time, lol. I put the stuff in her locker this morning, and kinda avoided the hallway until school started. Me and Dan were in Mr Loftins room, and Mr Loftin's like, "So, who are you guys avoiding?" lol, it was like he knew.... . wierd. Hmm ya, so then after first hour was over we went to chapel, Mr. Ingamire (sp?) was amazing. He really hit home.
Then there was lunch... idk, I'm still kinda depressed about that. It makes me stinking sad. Tim knows. :( ahh well.

I really honestly dont understand how people get enjoyment out of ridiculing someone who's never even spoken a single word to them in their life. How is that fun? Grrrrr.

Theres my complaint of the day. Except its worthy of much more than a single day. I asked that to John C today... ticked me off so frikken much. blah. "I wasnt making fun of him. I was just saying hello!" bull. Ghaaaaa..

okay I'd better stop. Soo, after school was fun, lol. Yup, Nathan and Brock, we've scarred Adam :-P lol. THe trust game rocks. That darn Austin... sheesh. Yep, that kid has issues with catching AND leaning. Cause i think he leans a lot. Just never falls... hmmmm. But he obviously doesnt care to let a girl fall. Shya. shame on him... .

Ya, since then, i've just been listening to music all day and been on the phone and online talking to people. I talk to people in general quite a bit, i think.

Have you ever thought about the fact that the average person spends 4 months of every single YEAR Sleeping. YA! I read that somewhere and thought about it for a while... and it just irritated the heck out of me. Dang we waste so much time... but then, who am I to criticize the human body, and how it works? oops... sorry bout that. meh... went off on my shpiel.

I'm in a random mood. Its a good mood, though. :) <- see? smiley = happyness. Okay... i'll leave with random lyrics...
I can't imagine where the inspiration came for these... but ya. I "get them" and they make me sad and happy at the same time. I like 'em...

THE GAUNTLET
by: DEMON HUNTER

I hold you in like a deep breath.
Feel you like the last beautiful touch before a final rest.
I know i'll see you forever.
I want it painted black and red.
It's so beautiful to me, it's everything i see.
It's so beautiful to me, but it's nothing that i need.
And i can't taste anything less.
Every time i'm forced down.
To be with yourself, take all the blood you want.
But not from here.
It's so beautiful to me, it is everything i see.
It's so beautiful to me, but it's nothing that i need.
Not a hand, not a finger.
This is my home.
I'm dying here.
I hide in the corner.
That look on your face, I'm accustomed to it.
----------------

So ya... I find them interesting. K, thats about it for me.
Peace to you all,

Hoo-rah for a quiz!

2005-01-10T19:04:00.000-07:00

[ .01. ] first name: Dustin
[ .02. ] middle name: Lee
[ .03. ] last name: Deckard
[ .04. ] nickname(s): none worth mentioning.
[ .05. ] gender: Male
[ .06. ] birthday: November 28
[ .07. ] height: 5'10" or 11"
[ .08. ] hair color: Blonde
[ .09. ] eye color: Blue
[ .010. ] do you wear glasses or contacts: contacts

[ .011. ] do you have braces: never
[ .012. ] is your hair long or short: long...
[ .013. ] where were you born: Wichita, Kansas
[ .014. ] current location: Rose Hill, KS
[ .015. ] zodiac sign: Sagittarious (never know how to spell that...)
[ .016. ] how many languages do you know fluently: English, I'm fine with HTML, i can hold my own with Java, trying to learn GML.. DHTML is easy, I dont like Spanish. blah.. there ya have it.
[ .017. ] what language do you want to learn: C++
[ .018. ] bad habits: uhh... this could get deep. I dont think I'm very good at making decisions... I'm bad at confronting things, but I'm getting over that... i'm done with negative music.. i dont do homework :(... sitting on my computer for hours and hours and hours on end... getting major grips on material possesions... ya.

( piercings you have: none

[ .020. ] piercings you want: idk... i have better things to think about right now.

[ .021. ] tattoos you have: none

23. ] today: was okay... went by fast enough. after school was fun... geometry = blah

[ .024. ] today's date: Monday, January 10, 2005
[ .025. ] the time: 8:12pm

6. ] ready for a bunch more questions: i'll find out, won't i?

F A M i L Y
[ .027. ] mother's name: Norma
[ .028. ] father's name: Roger
[ .029. ] brother's name: Paul
[ .030. ] sister's name: Katheryn
[ .031. ] favorite aunt: Emma
[ .032. ] favorite uncle: Bill
[ .033. ] favorite grandparent: dont really have a fav..
[ .036. ] worst relative: aunt Chris.. she hates me.

[ .037. ] best relative: idk
[ .038. ] do you get along with your parents: not really...

[ .039. ] does anyone in your family understand you? as if

P E T S
[ .040. ] do you have any pets: not of my own.. we have a dog, and 2 cats
[ .041. ] what are their names: Molly, Sammy, Frisky

[ .042. ] what kind of animals are they: just said that...

S C H 0 0 L
[ .043. ] are you still in school: Ya, sophomore
[ .044. ] did you drop out: no
[ .045. ] current gpa: current? 3.9 or 4.0.. grades reset
[ .046. ] favorite grade: this year

[ .047. ] least favorite grade: 4th-9th
[ .048. ] favorite teacher: Loftin, Riffee was awesome :_(
[ .049. ] least favorite teacher: none

[ .050. ] favorite subject: English and newspaper

[ .051. ] least favorite subject: geometry and spanish
[ .053. ] play any sports on the school's team: nope, played golf last year, prob not this year. hopefully do cross country next year since i'll be able to drive and get around to practices and stuff..
[ .054. ] do/did you do any extracurricular activities?: psh ya. Peers Educating Peers, Scholars Bowl, Junior Optimist Club

[ .055. ] are/were you popular: dont care
[ .056. ] favorite: Jesus.

[ .057. ] favorite memory: idk... i think a lot of this year.
[ .058. ] favorite memory you want to have: first kiss, marriage day, skydiving!

[.059. ] least favorite memory: lots of things. i dont care to go into details..
[ .060. ] most humiliating moment: uhh idk

F A V 0 R i T E S
[ .061. ] number: 117

[ .062. ] letter: D.. sure.
[ .063. ] shoes: w/e, i need shoes.

[ .064. ] saying(s): all quotes from the Matrix trilogy... o wow. And like, every single Kutless song, and awesome Demon Hunter, Disciple, and THE AGONY SCENE and EVANESCENCE lyrics. And the BEST one.. *dun dun dun* "Real love is forever." from THE CROW
[ .065. ] TV show: X Files, Unexplained Mysteries

[ .066. ] sport: Aggressive inline.. paintball, sure.. uhh Slamball is cool sometimes
[ .067. ] vegetable: idk
[ .068. ] fruit: like.. grapefruit or fresh grapes
[ .069. ] movie: THE CROW, the Matrix trilogy, HERO, Kill Bill 1 & 2, COld Mountain
[ .070. ] magazine: GamePro.. kinda, Maximum PC, OXM

[ .071. ] actor: Kianna Reeves, Larrence Fishburn, Brandon Lee
[ .072. ] actress: Jennifer Garner, Cary Ann Moss, Jada Pinkett Smith
[ .073. ] candy: whatever i pick up in the lunch line at school... usually chocolate
[ .074. ] gum: uhhh w/e
[ .075. ] scent: idk.. being in a huge forest in the autumn, right after a rain :)

[ .076. ] candy bar: Zero

[ .077. ] ice cream flavor: cappachino chunky chocolate
[ .078. ] color: black, deep red, deep blue... someone tell me what they think i would look like with shorter, straight, blue hair :P
[ .079. ] season: autumn
[ .080. ] holiday: Fourth of July.. idk.
[ .081. ] band: KUTLESS, Demon Hunter, The Agony Scene, Pillar, Green Day, Project 86, Disciple, Oscilate, Surphace, Poor Mans Riches, Dead Poetic, Evanescence, etc...
[ .082. ] singer: Amy Lee is my hero. And Emily and Bryanna and Tim and all my other musically gifted friends :)
[ .083. ] group: same as band...
[ .084. ] rapper: uhh... nope. just no - sry.
[ .085. ] type of music: emo, screamo, punk rock, rock, metal, progressive metal, metal blade, black metal, gothic rock, some things acoustic, ahh some japanese trance, Euro techno (Ian Van Dahl, hey ya!), classical (Amy Lee... ), and lots more .. pretty much anything but country, rap, or R&B or anything like that... ew.
[ .086. ] things on ur wall in your room: uh here we go... "Things that Video Games teach us", Disciple - Back Again, Disciple - big big band poster, Skillet poster, Alien taxi cab driver poster.., alien "We are out there" poster, midevil dragonish painting poster, "free admission to Crazyworld" ticket, Creed's Mark Tramonti PRS guitar add, my ROAD SIGN that fell off and i kinda took it..., yellow caution tape, a couple video game quotes i printed out a while ago by Jeremy Mustard, signed thousand foot Krutch picture (singer of FM static), a Sega Channel ball cap, poster that says "courage", another TFK picture, Brock Gill Christian Illusionist signed poster, a couple magazine pages of Aggressive skaters hitting rails, a sign that says "Dustins parking only" wow thats stupid... , The Matrix poster, THE Matrix: Reloaded poster, The Matrix: Revolutions poster, Beyond Good and Evil (vid game) poster, Hitman: Contracts (vid game) poster, Call of Duty: Finest Hour (vid game) poster, Prince of Pursia: The Sands of Time (vid game) poster, Kill Switch (vid game) poster, Shadow of Rome (vid game) poster.... ... .... . ... whew.. thats it!

[ .087. ] place to be: with God, with friends that care..
[ .089. ] tv channel: dont really have one. if i had cable, then it'd be G4TV or SciFi
[ .090. ] junk food: crackers?
[ .091. ] overall food: idk.. this is a toughy.
[ .092. ] store: Hot Topic
[ .093. ] hangout: can be anywhere..

[ .094. ] fast food: sonic

[ .095. ] restaurant: Sumo, Kyotos, dillons Chinese!!!

[ .096. ] shape: uhh idk

[ .097. ] time of day: 3-4am if i'm awake enough

[ .098. ] country: idk

[ .099. ] state/province: idk.. probably washington
[ .100. ] boys name: idk... i think Silver is an awesome first name for a guy or a girl. (and last name, too ;)
[ .101. ] girls name: ^

[ .102. ] mall: grapevine in Dallas, or the Florence, KY mall, or any mall where friends are
[ .103. ] video game: Halo 2, Halo, The Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind, Half Life, Half Life 2, Doom 3, Painkiller... tons tons tons tons tons tons MORE!!!!!

[ .104. ] shampoo: w/e is in the orange bottle thingy

[ .105. ] board game: idk.. LOTR Risk, D&D.. i'm a nerd.
[ .106. ] computer game: Half Life or Half Life 2

[ .107. ] car: Mitsubishi Lancer: Evolution VII

[ .108. ] music video: My Immortal, Everybody's Fool, and anything Evanescence...
[ .109. ] swear word: CRACKERS!

[ .110. ] word: quintessence

[ .111. ] month: October

[ .112. ] cartoon character: Mister Cheif
[ .113. ] scary movie: Blair Witch Project *shudders*..

[ .114. ] team: uhh... idk? since idk.. then I'll just say AFGK to make Dan happy :P
[ .115. ] possession: grrr trying not to care about possesions.. but ya, my computer, my xbox, my limeted edition Halo 2, some of my rare video games... blah. gotta get rid of 'em :P

WHATS THE FiRST THiNG Y0U TH0UGHT 0F WHEN Y0U HEARD..
[ .116. ] eminem: encore...
[ .117. ] dog: i swear, i might have to shoot mine soon
[ .118. ] hot: peppers...
[ .119. ] britney spears: jumper cables...
[ .120. ] nsync: Disney

[ .121. ] real world: blah...

[ .122. ] orange: tic tacks :)
[ .123. ] choice: Choices Medical Clinic
[ .124. ] f**k: nooooooooooooo.
[ .125. ] bisexual: confused person.
[ .126. ] black: cat.. Edgar Allen Poe
[ .127. ] icq: Not cool... i got rid of it a long time ago. bad people use that!!!!!
[ .128. ] insane clown posse: haha... they try soo hard. :P
[ .129. ] linkin park: awesome singer... certain songs are overrated though... MY DECEMBER ROCKS!

[ .130. ] jack: Nightmare Before Christmas
[ .131. ] rainbow: noah.. jesus.. promise...
[ .133. ] cucumber: vegetales
[ .134. ] shark: Tale
[ .135. ] lifehouse: some good songs..

[ .136. ] bat: man! Austin Batman
[ .139. ] america: dang sedition act...

[ .140. ] water: holy shmokes.. how much water can Adam Heil drink in one day?

[ .141. ] volcano: FIRE!
[ .142. ] rock or rap: rock
[ .143. ] rock or pop: rock
[ .144. ] rock or r&b: Rock.
[ .145. ] rock or metal: Both... ya!
[ .146. ] rap or pop: neither
[ .147. ] rap or r&b: neither
[ .148. ] rap or metal: metal

[ .149. ] pop or r&b: neither
[ .150. ] pop or metal: Metal.
[ .151. ] r&b or metal: Metal.
[ .151(1/2)] punk or metal: both... combined = screamo
[ .152. ] linkin park or limp bizkit: bizkits singer.. LP's lyrics
[ .153. ] tool or korn: argh.. dont.. make.. me....
[ .154. ] selena or jennifer lopez: nada
[ .155. ] hot or cold: depends
[ .156. ] winter or summer: summer.. ask me in the summer, i'll say winter
[ .157. ] spring or fall: AUTUMN
[ .158. ] shakira or britney: Shakira! :) she has some sweet music.. awesome vocals.. but she needs clothes...
[ .159. ] icp or eminem: ew
[ .160. ] marilyn manson or rob zombie: ahhh... dont make me.. plzzzz.... I LOVE Mansons voice and music style.. but .. no. Bad person.. and Zombie has (had) an awesome voice and guitarist, but .. no.

[ .161. ] kittie or garbage: waht?
[ .162. ] mtv or vh1: neither.. unless its headbangers ball on MTV
[ .163. ] buffy or angel: angel i guess... buffy is too cliche sometimes
[ .164. ] dawson's creek or gilmore girls: blech
[ .165. ] football or basketball: i'd only watch them to support friends.. dont really care for either
[ .166. ] summer olympics or winter olympics: summer.. sure
[ .167. ] skiing or snowboarding: snowboarding... hello.
[ .168. ] rollerblading or skateboarding: rollerblading! aggressive inline
[ .169. ] black or white: Black.
[ .170. ] orange or red: Red.
[ .171. ] yellow or green: Green
[ .172. ] purple or pink: Pink
[ .173. ] slipknot or mudvayne: argh... :_(
[ .174. ] hot topic or pac sun: um� Hot Topic! wo0t!
[ .175. ] inside or outside: outside usually.. i think.. idk
[ .176. ] weed or alcohol: noooooooooo... there's cooler ways to die.
[ .177. ] cell phone or pager: Cell.
[ .178. ] pen or pencil: depends...
[ .179. ] powerpuff girls or charlie's angels: both :P
[ .180. ] scooby doo or dino: neither..
[ .181. ] dragon ball z or pokemon: argh... blech.
[ .182. ] star wars or star trek: star wars.. the trek universe is too hard to figure out unless you're obsessed...
[ .183. ] tattoos or piercings: piercings
[ .184. ] prep or punk: HA. ya right... you should know this. punk.
[ .185. ] slut or whore: Jesus loves you.

P R i V A T E L i F E
[ .186. ] do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: no
[ .187. ] do you have a crush: i hate that word! :P
[ .188. ] do you love anyone right now: of course.. like, everyone.
[ .189. ] have you ever been in love: Real Love is Forever...
[ .190. ] how many people have you liked in ur life: idk, not very many
[ .191. ] who was your first crush: idk

[ .192. ] how many hearts have you broken: none? plz let that be true..
[ .193. ] how many people broke your heart: psh
[ .194. ] best quote to sum up love: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not selfseeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. <--holy shmokes thank you, Dan. awesome...
[ .195. ] so what is your bf/gf/crush like? Amazing
[ .196. ] do you have a picture of him/her: yup
[ .197. ] please post it if you do: no! :) mine

[ .198. ] do you have a picture of yourself: Ya.. somewhere on my old comps hard drive
[ .199. ] please post it if you do: No!
[ .200. ] do you go by looks or personality: personality.. but even that is really vague. I "go by" the person, nothing more and nothing less :) Everything else are just +'s
[ .202. ] are you still friends: ...?
[ .203. ] so moving along..do you smoke: heck stinking no
[ .204. ] do you smoke weed: no, never ever
[ .205. ] ever trip on acid: nope :) never will.
[ .206. ] how about a little e: nooooo
[ .207. ] crack, heroin, anything else: Never ever
[ .208. ] beer good or beer bad: beer bad!
[ .209. ] are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: lol, no, beer is bad. i changed my opinons. bad alll the way around pretty much.
[ .210. ] do you like smirnoff ice: Never
[ .211. ] prefer beer or liquor?: Neither/
[ .212. ] what kind of cigarettes do you smoke: ewwwww
[ .213. ] have you ever drank Hypnotiq: Nope
[.214. ] if yes, when was the last time you got some: nooo

W 0 U L D Y 0 U EVER..
[ .215. ] bungee jump: Heck yes
[ .216. ] sky dive: Absolutely
[ .217. ] swim with dolphins: not in the ocean...
[ .218. ] scuba dive: see above
[ .219. ] go rock climbing: yeah!
[ .220. ] eat $#!7 for $1,000,000: nope
[ .221. ] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: no!
[ .222. ] steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: No.
[ .223. ] cross-dress: lol... well, for money, maybe. i could buy the "mens one legged pant" from hot topic, lol... rotfl...
[ .224. ] lie to the police: no
[ .225. ] run from the police: :-[ .226. ] lie to your parents: have before... course..
[ .227. ] walk up to a stranger and kiss them: Nope
[ .228. ] be an exotic dancer: its my weekend job. i'm part time... actually no.
[ .229. ] walk out of a restaurant without paying: no, unless by accident
[ .230. ] streak: Not likely.

Y 0 U R F R I E N D S

[ .231. ] best friend: i'm wayyy blessed in this area, thank God. I have the best friends ever... Dan, Emily, Bryanna, Nathan, Brock, Tim... i know them the best, i think. If your name isnt on that list, then it probably should be if you're reading this.. maybe not, idk. wow i'm rambling! :P love to you all.
[ .232. ] known longest: hmm... all my real friends i just met basically at the same time last year or w/e... some are a lot newer than others.
[ .233. ] wish you talked to more: everyone...
[ .234. ] wish you saw more: everyone
[ .235. ] how many friends do you think you have: extremely blessed here.. i dont want to count, cause i'd forget someone i think.
[ .236. ] who drives you insane after a while: hehe..
[ .237. ] who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: all of my real friends
[ .238. ] ever lose a good friend because you took it to the 'next level': no, dont plan on that ever happening.
[ .239. ] craziest: lol.. hmm.. this could be debatable.
[ .240. ] loudest: holy shmokes.. Tim is soooo loud in the hallways! haha ;) Emily can be loud :) Bryanna just trips over things quietly.. not too loud..
[ .241. ] shyest: idk.. Emily? i think :D
[ .242. ] best hair: Emily *cough dont dye cough*
[ .244. ] best eyes: o gash... here we go. Nathan. ya, pretty much. thats wierd.. but w/e, you cant diss the eyes.
[ .243. ] best dressed: as long as its modest ;)
[ .246. ] most athletic: Nathan-bball, Dan-CC & paintball, Adam-CC, Emily-tapdancing!, Bri-vball, etc.. ok i quit.

[ .248. ] hot tempered: that would be Brian Funk.. he's such an angry person.
[ .249. ] most impatient: Tim.. sheesh
[ .250. ] shortest: uhhhh... idk!
[ .251. ] tallest: Tim... i'm pretty sure
[ .252. ] talented: holy shmokes.. i could rant and rave here forever.. all of my friends are soo stinking talented. no joke, every single one of them :) its so awesome.
[ .253. ] best singer: Emily! And Bri and Tim and... all other singing friends!
[ .254. ] skinniest: Emily.
[ .255. ] nicest: Brian Funk. voted nicest person in the school.
[ .256. ] best personality: everyone...
[ .257. ] biggest drug user: Tim.. what a stoner! hahahaha.. . .. . ... no. jk!

HAVE Y0U EVER:

[ .258. ] flashed someone: nope
[ .259. ] told a person how you felt bout them: Ya
[ .260. ] been to michigan: nope
[ .262. ] gone to jail or juvi: no, thank God
[ .263. ] skateboarded: ya
[ .264. ] skinny dipped: no
[ .265. ] stolen anything: yep
[ .266. ] wanted to kick my @$$ for making this so long: Someone should POKE YOU IN THE EYE with a REALLY HOT FRENCH FRY!

[ .267. ] kicked someone's @$$: nope, i'm not a violent person, honestly.
[ .268. ] pegged someone in the head with a snowball: lol ya, course
[ .269. ] broke a beer bottle: yup! tons of 'em. Under the railroad tracks.. down in the Rose Hill g'hetto... no actually its just a railroad bridge thats fun to sit and think on.
[ .270. ] gotten into a bar, under-aged: uhm... dont think so.
[ .271. ] kissed someone of the same sex: noooo
[ .273. ] gone on a road trip: ya! wo0t!
[ .274. ] gone on vacation without adult supervision: camp? retreats? i fly by myself, it rocks!
[ .275. ] been to a concert: yup!

[ .276. ] been to another country: ya :(
[ .277. ] talked back to an adult: yes...
[ .278. ] got pulled over: nope
[ .279. ] got in a car accident: nope
[ .280. ] broke a law: lol ,, yesssssss so many.

[ .281. ] given money to a homeless person: ya

[ .283. ] cried to get out of trouble: not that i can remember
[ .284. ] kissed a friend's brother or sister: nope
[ .285. ] kissed a brother or sister's friend: Nope
[ .286. ] dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyways?: lol heck ya. *stupid siblings.. :P*

0 P I N I 0 N S
[ .287. ] what do you think...about pop music: not my thing, and i dont see much talent in the genre at all, but hey.. its music :)
[ .288. ] about boy bands: Plus One! wo0t! lol, if they're using the talents for God, then awesome.
[ .289. ] about flag burning: ok.. this is deep. Is simbolism (like a Flag) important to God still? I mean.. seriously. If its not, then a flag is just a painted rag.. so who cares? but ya..
[ .290. ] of the war on terrorists: Justified, but war is futile. Its sad.. i dont have an opinion.
[ .292. ] about people who try to force their opinions on you: ok... this makes me sooo MAD. seriously.. telling us we cant pray in school cause THATS imposing our beliefs on others.. but by telling that it IS "imposing our beliefs" on others.. itsnt that imposing THEIR beliefs on US?

[ .293. ] about abortion: Murder.
[ .294. ] about rock/metal music: God created all kinds of music, and enjoys them all, when used for his glory. God LOVES Disciple :) That makes me so happy :P
[ .295. ] where do you think you'll be in 10 years: i dont have the slightest, even most remote tingling of a clue... not at all. I'll just have to wait and see.
[ .296. ] who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: definately a lot of the people i've already mentioned. THose are real friendships that arent gonna be ripped away by graduation. *TIM.. absence makes the heart grow fonder?*
[ .324. ] are you like cows?: "you" was used plural there... so who's "you"?
[ .326. ] are you a bee-och *sry for all the language, guys*: if i am, slap me now.
[ .327. ] are you artistic: in my own little ways i guess. not half as much as most of my friends.

[ .328. ] do you write poetry: ya
[ .330. ] can you ski: never tried. doesnt look fun to me.. i'd rather board.
[ .331. ] are you british: lol, :( no
[ .332. ] do you want to spear britney: haha... well, no.
[ .333. ] do the voices talk to you: dont ask stupid questions. of course they dont! o, Carl says Hello.
[ .334. ] did you ever give barbie a haircut? haha... nope.
[ .335. ] would you eat mac & cheese with hot dogs in it: sure

[ .336. ] do you think disney creators were on acid when they made 'alice in wonderland: awesome movie :P Hot Topic can turn anything into a cult favorite, seriously. But no, Alice is awesome.. especially the computer game. Creepyness the mizzax.
[ .337. ] are you straight: yup.
[ .338. ] are you stupid, insane, and another physically handicapped: I have my mood swings... slash alternate personalities...

[ .339. ] are you nice: i hope so.
[ .340. ] are you not realy: stupid quiz makers...
[ .342. ] are you tall: average, dont care much about height, but i'd rather be a little taller than any girl i'm "with." doesnt matter though :)
[ .343. ] do you own a hot pink shirt: 7 of them. ... no.
[ .344. ] how about orange pants: nope
[ .345. ] can you see the flying monkeys: EMILY! There's flying monkeys in WICKED!!!!
[ .346. ] are you evil: by nature... but no, not really. i think i try to be sometimes... idk.
[ .347. ] did you ever know someone who had a mullet: ya, HELLO, i lived in Kentucky
[ .348. ] is britney a whore: thats not a nice term... . Britney Spears has sold her body, yes.
[ .349. ] are you a teenage zombie: yup, pretty much. I'm hungry.. but no one in Rose Hill has any brains... so i need to take a road trip. probably not a good idea this late.. the vampires would get me. O! nm.. *grabs garlic clove* okay, all set. Now I'm off...

[ .350. ] am i annoying you?: Nope
[ .351. ] do you like marilyn manson: :( I dont know.. i do, and yet dont. I have some really really messed up Manson concert stories, lol. He's a complete psycho live... but he's digging his way into hell right now... so bad him.
[ .353. ] did you ever touch someone else's private parts: what the heck? why was this the last real question? who made this quiz? i need to talk to them... bah. And noooooo.
[ .354. ] this is over are you happy now haha: use a comma, retard. ;)
[ .355. ] what time is it now: 10:32
[ .356. ] are you gonna send this on: gonna post it.. is that good enough for you, o wise quiz maker?

Random thought

2005-01-09T22:55:00.000-07:00

Okay... I specifically remember saying "Hmm.. I've never really thought about it that way before..." or "I've thought of that..." about 117 times the last few weeks. What the heck? You know what? There is a TON of stuff to think about... ya. in general .
Hmm.. ya. Just thought I'd get that out there. Your thoughts? Comment if u feel so impelled.
Thx.

Hoo-rah for ice meltage!

2005-01-09T19:46:00.000-07:00

So yes, my power came back Friday around 3-ish. So.. thats my excuse for not updating, although i dont even need one, considering how rarely SOME people update.. tsk tsk. Lately I've been on kind of a guilt trip about how much I complained aboutmy loss of power... I keep getting reminded of the tsunami situation. :-\ its enough to make ya rethink a lot of things, isnt it?

This is such a stinking awesome song... I love it.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams
by: Green Day

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But its home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
When the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walkin down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's f***** up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
And know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
When the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone
---------------------------

Soooo ya. Thanks to all who filled out my quiz, you rock.
I'm kinda looking foward to a whole week of school again, but I'm sure around Wednesday i'll be tired of it again :( O well. English is gonna be better this semester (except for the stupid captivity narratives paper.. blah) cause we're gonna do the fireside poets, etc., AND Mrs. C already signed me up to do the report on Poe, so its all good.

Sheesh... all this time with no entried, and now I cant think of anything to write.
O ya.. i remember..

I went to the mall today.. thinking I'd just be a mall rat and cruise around by myself (or not), but practically the second I walk into the mall, Dan comes up behind me and hits my shoulder, freaking the crap out of me. Its not everyday someone jumps me in the mall.. but no, that wasnt even the only time. So Dan and Karlee and Dans friend and his girlfriend were there. So, then like half an hour later or something, I'm in FYE and Emily and Bryanna come up behind me and scare the crud out of me, also! Sheesh. Someone's lucky I didnt spazz.
So.. hung out with Emily and Bri for a while... got clothes (yay...), did mall stuff. They got homecoming dresses, which I didnt see. O well. Then after a while, I was leaving and walked past Hot Topic, and a guy with blue hair jumps out and is like.. "HEY! Whats your name?" SO that was wierd... . Evidently, when Bri and Emily first got there, they called my house and found out I was on my way to the mall, and, knowing I would go to Hot Topic, they told the guy in Hot Topic to call Bri's cell phone when i went in. Wierd... . Hmm .. ya, thats the exciting story.
I got a Foamy the squirrel button :) It makes me laugh. 'Someone should poke you in the eye with a hot French fry!!!!" lol. And a belt... but its too small. haha, I'm the biggest retard. WHo buys a belt thats too small? honestly? *raises hand* that would be me. And... ya. Got a homecoming shirt, but you don't care. Also, there's a sale on jeans... "get 2 for $36, or $40 each seperately. " So you save money by getting more... thats retarded... but ok. More power to ya.
WOw i'm rambling uncontrollably...

I love my computer :) Not having it for 4 days was tough... . I'm a nerd. I think I need to loosen my grip on material items. Hmm... . Reading by candle light is really fun! Seriously. Idk why.. but it is.
Uhh... I dont like A days... but o well. ttyl...

Quiz... that YOU fill out!

2005-01-04T01:00:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd post this.. see if anyone actually fills it out :) buahaha.. now I gave you the guilt trip.. so it's like you HAVE to! Ha! No actually if you dont want to, its fine, and FEEL FREE to leave some of the questions blank, if ya know what i mean : Ya, thx. Just copy and paste it, then fill it out in my comments box. Thx!

01. who are you, what's our relationship:
02. how and where did we meet:
03. what's my middle name:
04. how long have you known me:
05. tell me one good thing about myself:
06. when you first saw me what was your impression:
07. my age:
08. birthday:
09. my favorite band at the moment:
10. color of eyes:
11. do i have any siblings:
12. have you ever had a crush on me:
13. what's one of my favorite things to do:
14. do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you:
15. describe me in 3 words:
16. name 5 things i love:
17. do you think i'm good looking:
18. how would you describe me to someone:
19. would you ever date me:
20. tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did:
21: what do you like most about me:
22: if we could spend a day together what would we do:
23: have we ever gotten in a fight:
24: do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years:
25. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
26. What do you think my weakness is?
27. Do you think I'll get married?
28. What makes me happy?
29. What makes me sad?
30. What reminds you of me?
31. If you could give me anything what would it be?
32. When's the last time you saw me?
33. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
34. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
35. Are you going to put this on your xanga/blog and see what I say about you?
36. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?
37. What song (if any) reminds you of me?
38. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
39. Would you make a move on me?
40. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day?

2005-01-02T22:31:00.000-07:00

starting time: 11:32
first name: Dustin
middle name: Lee
age: 16
birthdate: 11/28/88
birthplace: wichita
current location: Rose Hill
hair color: blonde
length: like 8 inches
height: 5'10ish i think
eye color: blue
siblings?: 2
pets?: 1 dog, 1 cat, i think our fish is dead but idr
status: all's well, thx much!

CURRENT.
current clothing: shorts and shirt. go me
jewelry: chain bracelets and an Inspire bracelet
current hair: heh... blah
current makeup: o you know.. the usual. Hmm..none.
current time: 1:17am
current date: jan. 3rd
current thoughts: my friends are amazing
current sounds/music: Nothing to Fear - by Surphace
current annoyance: what the heck? Adam Heil is obsessed with donuts.
current food: none
current beverage: kool-ade!
current taste: see above
current mood: happy.. sure y not :)
current nailcolor: black sharpe (sp?) yup...
current worry: hmm... a lot of things :current wonder: its amazing how everything can fall into place...
current crush: I hate the word "crush." Its so stupid.. think about it.

LAST PERSON YOU...
spoke to: in person? Uh oh... sry, cant remember if it was Bri or Emily who called last.
had a conversation with: Brock
instant messaged: Dan/Brock
emailed: hmm... GAMEPRO :-P
hugged: idr... i think Brock.. from before Christmas break. Wow. i think i need a hug, lol.
kissed: idr.. i'm not into physical contact with my family, so its literally been years :P lol
yelled at: idr!!! OMG IDR!!! Thats awesome! Its been weeks since i yelled at anyone :)
complimented: Brock, once again :P
dissed: Adam
made plans with: hmm... idk? Bible study on wed night count? then Dan
called on the phone: uhh... o i feel like a bad friend. I havent called anyone today :O
talked to on the phone: Bri or Emilayyyyyyyyy
said 'hi' to: Dan or Brock.. can't remember which one was first
were excited to see: uhhh... SANDY PICKERT!!!! lol. most def.
wished you were with: :)
had a dream about: idr... people are rarely in my dreams
fought with: Satan :)
made a joke about: hmm... Adam and his love for donuts.
laughed with: idk... does online count? then like.. lots of people
cried about: :_(
told a secret to: Emily
rode in the car with: mom and brother and sister

LAST...
item of food you consumed: hmmm CHICKEN
liquid you drank: kool aid
store you went to: Dillons (movies heck ya!)
place you drove to: Apple Market :P
item you spent money on: movie rental - HERO
song you listened to: Nothing to Fear, by Surphace
cd you bought: Metal for the Masses volume 2.. but I trashed it :)
time you showered: this morning... er... yesterday, cause its 2:15
time you painted your nails: sharpes are fun and smell good
tv program you watched: news... blah
movie you went to see in the theater: A Series of Unfortunate Events
time you made a fool of yourself in public: idr
time you had a fight with your parents: its been more than 2 weeks!!!!!!!!
time you got grounded: like 3 weeks ago? or maybe just 2.. almost 3.
time you cried: hmm... couple days ago
were embarassed: idr
vacation you took: psh...
shaved: this morning/yesterday morning

DO YOU..
die your hair: havent ever before
smoke: heck.. stinking.. no.
speak another language: very very very little spanish. You cant really "speak" any computer languages... :(
drink: yes.. i have to stay hydrated, HELLO
get more than 8 hours of sleep daily: lately? ya.. during school? NOOOO
shower daily: ya
wear make up daily: nope
lie a lot: no
make fun of others to their face: nooo
go to more than 5 concerts a year: uhh... i think i went to 4 last year! BAH! that sucks.
play any instruments: the original Xbox controller is a beast to be tamed... do not underestimate!

HAVE YOU..
lied to your parents: ya
cheated: ya
shoplifted: i've eaten candy in a store before :(
been rejected: ya..
rejected someone: idk?
asked someone out: to homecoming
colored/dyed your hair: temporary spray
done something you didnt want to just for someone to like you: ya.. I'm sure.
done anything you regret: can't even begin to name them all
fallen asleep during a movie: only on purpose.
gotten in a physical fight: mosh pit
been suspended: nope
had a recurring dream: yes :_(
made dinner for your family: ya...
slept for more than 12 hours at a time: heck ya
stayed up for 24 hours straight: all the time
ran away: not for more than a couple hours. besides that... in my head.
complimented someone and not meant it: ya...

FAVORITE..
place in the world to be: oo Emily and I have talked about this :) I have a lot of places... . The biggest one would probably be Bungie studios though..
place to live: idk.. I've only lived in 2 states.
color: black/red/silver
color combination: black/red or black/silver
outfit: rrriiiggghhhttt....
article of clothing: Demon Hunter or Evanescence shirt...
makeup brand: ha... roit. as if.. except i actually know one.. called Morbid Makeup... Hot topic! I think it was Bri.. called once and asked if i needed nail polish :O
item of makeup you cant be without: i can be without
actor: Kianna Reeves (sp?), Lawrence Fishburn, Brandon Lee
actress: jennifer garner, Cary-Ann Moss, Jada Pinkett SMith
movie: HERO, THe Crow, THe Matrix Trilogy, Kill Bill 1 & 2, etc etc etc...
tv show: X Files, Stargate SG1, Unexplained Mysteries
band: KUTLESS, Demon Hunter, Diciple, The Agony Scene, i could go on forever...
cd: Kutless - Kutless
song: lately? "New Years Vow" by Kutless... and "Nothing to Fear" by Surphace
type of movie: action adventure or horror...
memory: idk...
season: autumn
time of year: october
holiday: Fourth of July
type of music: rock, hard rock, metal, black metal, emo, grunge, gothic rock, metalcore, electricore, metal blade, etc... :)
food: chinese or japanese or fresh seafood
drink: Rooster Booster
candy: anything chocolate
radio station: ZFM lives
sport: gaming
sport to watch: aggressive inline
thing to do: lots of stuff
person to go to for advice: Jesus :) or Emily or Bri or Dan or Brock or Mr Loftin or Betsy or TIM or Nathan... there's more, seriously, but I'd better stop... my friends are amazing and I dont deserve a single one of them.
person who makes you happy: all my friends
person makes you laugh: idk.. everyone :)
website: bungie.net, halo.bungie.org... and everyones blog/xanga.
thing to do on the weekend: do soemthing with friends
thing to do alone: listen to music and think, play video games, read, write, w/e.
thing to do when stressed out: blog, listen to heavy music, go for a walk
book: too many...
thing to do when bored: get online, read fictionpress.com, change my blog layout :P
teacher: Loftin, Cunningham, Riffee :_(
relative: one aunt and uncle
time of day: 2 or 3am
day of the week: friday or Sunday
subject: Newspaper

WHAT..

pisses you off: nothing! I'm sooo controlling any anger.. its stupid.
do you do on the weekends: whatever i can if anyone is doing anything
do you look for in a guy: (girl) Christian, good morals, stand up for waht she believes in, proud to stand out, is random.
do you talk about with friends: depends majorly on the friend. I talk about everything...
music do you listen to: KUTLESS heck ya.. and metal
cd is in your cd player currently: Kutless is in the computer.. Disciple (Back Again) is in the player
makes you happy?: knowing everything is gonna work out, knowing that its not in my hands, knowing that friends care, knowing that I can get over things and move on... TONS OF STUFF makes me happy! :)
makes you sad: family, satan, the world, war, peoples ignorance... TONS TONS TONS more...
makes you cry: see above i guess...
is your biggest fear?: satan... and drowning in the ocean.
is your biggest goal?: make my life worthwhile, become who I CAN be, not who *I* want to be.
is the one most important thing to you in life: God

OPPOSITE SEX
what is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex: physical looks probably first :( Shallow me...
number one most important: relationship with God.. if its not there, then nothing else is going to work, anyways.
preferable hair color: anything!
eye color: see above
hair style: anything
height: I'd like to be taller, but its not important.
personality characteristics: random, caring, crazy sometimes :P

5 things you've consumed in the last 24 hours?:
- chicken
- potatoe
- biscuit?
- crackers
- cheese... mm..
5 things youve said today to someone:
- hello
- wuts up?
- No.. YOU pick the topic :P
- I'm retarded
- night
5 things 5 feet away from you:
- 17" flat panel monitor... mmm...
- 17" clunker NEC old monitor
- 6 issues of GamePro :O
- HTML handbook
- computer joystick
5 things do you plan on doing later today:
- sleep
- eat
- read blogs...
- talk to people online
- watch Hero for the fourth time

END
ending time: 3:08am

------
lol, it only took me over 3 and a half hours to do that thing! Crazy... . Actually i was talking to people, so ya.
I am actually really tired, so I leave with this all original poem from Adam Heil...
*bongo drums plz*

Donuts make me whole
They be good for the soul.

Wise, wise words. Rrriiiggghhhtttt....
Peace.

Uhhh... so ya.

2005-01-02T17:34:00.000-07:00

So, got a new layout up and runnin', but don't get used to it. Chances are.. it'll be different in 2 weeks. Ya... the banner picture is FUZZY and UGLY cause Microsoft Picture It is being a butthole to me, and I don't have the disk to install Fireworks onto this computer... so I had to use Picture It, and every time I save the stupid picture.. it shrinks the resolution.. idk why! So.. deal with the ugly pic for now. As if you care :P But it bugs me.

Uhhhhh I'm ready to go back to school. Wierd, eh? But tis true. I'm gonna majorly miss my sleep, though. Can't stay up till 5am EVERY day anymore. Just once or twice a week. :P

I watched HERO again today :)

I think leaning is very dangerous, indeed. Yep, most def. So is playing catch... cause you do NOT want to drop anything.. ever. NOPE.. nada.

Hope everyone has had an awesome break! Its almost over, though, so be prepared *considers bursting into Lion King song....* for school and teachers to crawl back up our backs. Ya...
Peace.

Nothing New

2005-01-02T01:53:00.000-07:00

So... I've been surfing fictionpress.com for a few days now... and I don't know if its good for me or bad for me. I love reading stuff that other, unpublished authors have written, cause idk.. its just... different, than reading it out of a book. Theres tons of really really good stuff on that site... . Just about something for everyone. I looked for depressing poems.. cause I'm like that and all... I like dark poetry... wierd, wierd me... and found this guys site http://www.fictionpress.com/~jadedbutalive. Now.. if that's not enough to down your whole day, what is? Hmm... okay, thats about it. I wonder if Mrs. Cunningham knows about this site? She would love it, I think.

I'm reading some awesome Zombie stories :P Its fun. The end-of-the-world-because-of-a-stupid-virus theme NEVER gets old! Buahaha.
Right 'o... ttyl.

What's up?

2005-01-01T22:46:00.000-07:00

So.. I have 13 minutes to make an entry, so that I'll fit it into Saturday.. hence, not skipping a day's entrification (an original word by Tim). Didnt do anything today... woke up from Bri's call, lol. (its okay!), watched Tom Clancey's NETFORCE (very very deep movie... complicated ending), got online, etc... and ...

WATCHED HERO AGAIN!!!
Holy shmokes I love that movie so much. Honestly... best movie I've ever seen. I'm obsessed. Its so amazing! The directing and cinemetography is beautiful, the fights are jaw-droppingly gorgeous (yes.. I said gorgeous, allthough I prob spelled it wrong), and the love-twist/plot is heartwrenching. Seriously.. its SOO sad!!!!!!!!!

Yes... leaning. Its quite a thing to think about, is it not? It invoked deep thoughts from the darkest recesses of my mind. Is it worth risking everything every once in a while, just to feel the rush of leening? Or should you ALWAYS be safe and have something to hold onto, or some way to get you out of the pit, in case you fall. Hmm...

Check out this web site... http://www.myjonesmusic.com. Its awesome! Completely free music for download.. whole songs, whole CD's, you name it. You probably havent heard of most of the bands on there, cause they're all independant bands, but there's TONS of music on there, from every genre you can think of. I even found a sweet band called SPLATTER thats a metal band with a female singer :) She screams, too! Its awesome... only other band I'd heard with a girl singer like that is STILL BREATHING, and I have their CD. SO ya.. go there, if you want free music, that IS free, and NOT illegal to download. There's something for everybody.

Aight, thats about it, except, if you havent seen the new Google logo for the new year, go check it out, its sweet!

Ttyl

New Years

2004-12-31T21:42:00.000-07:00

Ah.. the bliss of sitting at home alone, waiting for New years to roll around... but not really knowing what you're waiting for.. cause honestly.. what's going to be different? Not much. Its all in the mindset :) I know of someone that's doing something pretty cool when the hour hits ;)
I just watched the movie "Hangmans Curse" by Frank Perreti. He wrote the book and played a minor role in the movie. It was pretty good - my kind of movie... but some of the acting was incredibly cheesy :P Very good underlying message though. We can THINK we're in control all we want.. but we never will be. Our life is always in someone elses hands... .

So.. I THOUGHT I was going to come up with some sort of "New Years Resolutions" list... but I dont think so anymore. Idk why. lol... that makes no sense, not even to me. Ok, I changed my mind again.. here we go..

Be myself, and who God wants me to be, NOT who I want to be.
Be more open and honest with people.
Completely stop listening to any music that gives me a negative attitude or opinion towards life, and/or myself.
Start working on not watching so many R-rated movies.
Read more of the classics... and actually learn to enjoy them.
Try to enjoy school more
TRY at school... period.
Do all my English homework
Make an all original game in GML code by the end of the school year.
Go to Crown Uptown for the first time ;)
Start running, so I dont become a typical fat, lazy Halo 2 god
Do some sort of devo or bible reading at least 5 days a week.
Be a generally more happy person.

Thats about it... at least the broad, public ones. YEP!

--------

Okay.. subject change. I wrote a letter to GamePro magazine today, it was fun! Here it is... and I'll post if I get anything back from them...

Dear GamePro,
I have been a steady subscriber to your magazine for over a year now, and have greatly enjoyed watching you develop and improve it. The new op-ed articles are awesome!
Now, I consider myself one of the few, the proud, the nerdly - a hardcore gamer. I read your magazine and play video games because… well, I love video games. To quote Geremy Mustard from GlyphX Games (working on Advent Rising), “(games are) an art form with a unique and fundamentally human quality – an art form that can give you a choice.” Now, that brings me to the point of my letter. As a gamer, and a human, I make choices every day, but I especially make choices on which games I buy, rent, and play. Your magazine influences me in this area, because frankly, I trust you guys. As a student journalist, I admire and respect your work, but have lately been concerned that GamePro is slipping away from being an actual gaming magazine. All too often, and on all too many pages, I notice unnecessary innuendos, particularly seductive images, and the like. You do a good job at keeping the language in-check, but I can’t help but think you’re losing site of what gaming is all about. Why, exactly, do millions of us play GTA? Well, it’s not because of the two or three images you have overused to represent the game. Sure, there are those who would buy the game simply to see the scantily clad women in full 3d, but I’m not one of them, and I can’t help but get irritated with this. I’d just hate to see gamers end up being viewed as nerdling loners who depend on magazines like GamePro to catch a glimpse of a woman in a bikini. Maybe that’s blowing it out of proportion, but it’s something I’m concerned about, and seeing how this is becoming more and more of a common thing, I just want to make sure that GamePro is a magazine that will still be worth reading in 10 years, even if the Retro Corner is filled with the same two or three images of San Andres.

--------

Shya... .

Ok, i'm signin off for now. Everyone have a very happy "new years" and sleep well. Ttyl.

Songs...

2004-12-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

I got two songs in my head now. So I felt like putting the lyrics :P Im a nerd.. its great!

Green Day
American Idiot

Don't want to be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new media.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mud**** America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien-nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For thats enough to argue

Well maybe I'm the ------ America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoya.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For thats enough to argue

Don't want to be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information nation of hysteria.
It's going out to idiot America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For thats enough to argue
-----------------

Ya.. thats one of them. The other is a SAD sad song... really mellow. Zakk Wylde is a genius. Seriously...

I paved this road
I broke myself in two
This I know
Up and down, In between
There's nothing I haven't seen

All these scars which bear my name, yeah
My eyes are wide, ain't nothing's the same, yeah
I tried to run, but the damage is done, yeah
The damage is done
The damage is done

Where I've gone and where I've been
One only knows
One more mountain, one more mile
I'll do as I'm told

All these scars which bear my name, yeah
My eyes are wide, ain't nothing's the same, yeah
I tried to run, but the damage is done, yeah
The damage is done
The damage is done

Oh yeah, oh yeah
The damage is done
Oh yeah, oh yeah
The damage is done
Oh yeah, oh yeah
The damage is done
Oh yeah, oh yeah
The damage is done

All these scars which bear my name, yeah
My eyes are wide, ain't nothing's the same, yeah
I tried to run, but the damage is done, yeah
the damage is done
the damage is done

Oh yeah, oh yeah
The damage is done
Oh yeah, oh yeah
The damage is done
Oh yeah, oh yeah
The damage is done
Oh yeah, oh yeah
The damage is done
Oh yeah, oh yeah
The damage is done
Oh yeah, oh yeah
The damage is done
Oh yeah, oh yeah
The damage is done

----------

Hmm... thats a really depressing song. Kind of sums it all up though. I know this is kinda a stupid rhetorical question.. but have you ever thought about, if you could start over with everything.. or maybe even just a year or something.. what would you do first? Cause there's just so much crap that would be REALLY nice to completely get rid of.. but I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and... well, isnt at least the memories always going to be there? Its a wierd topic. Can you ever actually completely get over something? Hmmm... it can apply to a lot of things. Idk. I'm in a wierd mood. I'd say "comment," but I'm too lazy to fix the comments coding on this skin. So... if you feel so impelled, email me with your thoughts, or just drop a quick one on the tagboard. THX!

Speaking of skins... I'm working on another one :P An all-original creation by myself :D So ya... dont know when i'll be done, but w/e.
Cyaz.

uhhhh ya.

2004-12-30T01:40:00.000-07:00

So.. today(yesterday) was pretty fun. Two fun days in a row, wo0t! I woke up at like 2... was bored. Started reading "Heart Of Darkness" by Joseph Conrad, then got online. O ya.. and that morning, Bri had called and told me about the PEERS EDUCATING PEERS PARTY at Northrock lanes that night. BUT.. i was still asleep when she called.. so i kinda forgot about it. So ya.. she came and picked me up (her truck rocks!) and we went to the bowling alley. There were only *counts*... 8 people there.. not including Sandy Pickert :P She's the head honcho PEP person. So ya.. we bowled, ate pizza, etc.. it was great. Umm so ya.. then I needed a ride home, and turns out theres SOMONE WHO LIVES IN ROSE HILL that's also in PEP and goes to Kapaun named Jeremiah, so he gave me lift home. Really cool guy, too, except I almost died getting off the highway. :D I think that was the highlight of my day... it was awesome. We like.. .slid down the off ramp - it was a rush. I feel sorry for his tires though. Hmm.. then i got home, got online, blah blah blah, same ol stuff I do every day :P WOw this is a boring entry!!! Shya.. I need to spice it up.. hence all the crazy colours and stuff.
Hmm so ya. I leave you with a slightly depressing, yet immensely profound quote by the literary giant Joseph Conrad, from his work "Heart of Darkness."

"It is impossible to convey the life-sensation of any given epoch of one's existence - that which makes its truth, its meaning - its subtle and penetrating essence. It is impossible. We live, as we dream - alone."

Yep.. its awesome. Although I dont really agree with it at all. :P God always knows what we're going through. "If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."

Okay, I'm done now.

Today.

2004-12-29T01:56:00.000-07:00

So.. today was fun. I didnt sit at home on my computer all day! Was at Palmers last night, watched Shrek 2 - wow, some pretty funny parts, but holy cow... talk about innuendos. Then called Emily at like noon and ended up going ice skating! That was really fun. First time I'd been in 2 years, but I picked it back up okay. Its not very difficult if you've rollerbladed before. Pretty fun stuff. I raced Nathan on the Motorcycle game.. but I lost :( I suck at racing games. Hmm... we went really fast and then wiped out and slid at the end. I got this ice burn on my back thats pretty nasty. AND 2 big sores on the back of my legs from those STUPID STUPID skates. Sheesh, how does everyone use those?

So.. then me and Emily and Bri went to the mall! Town West.. wow, hadnt been there in like a year. Their Hot Topic is bigger! But they also have like 20 stinking womans clothing stores... and yes, I've officially been to just about all of them. *NOT Victorias secret, though ;)* And... Bryanna got her palm read... . Her verdict?

BUY CHEAP, DARK SUNGLASSES

Yep, most def. Gotta get those sunglasses... maybe she should make an extra trip up to SPECS, eh?

Hmmm I kinda forgot most everything else. I'm bad at this...
So ya.

I put a new song on here... try clicking PLAY above the tagboard if it doesnt start playing. If it still won't play.. then I'm out of bandwith for the day, and you'll have to wait till tomorrow. :P Deal with it. Its another awesome song by Kutless though. Called "Pride Away." LISTEN!

Ttyl.

ANOTHER QUIZZ!!!!!!!!!! SWEET!

2004-12-29T01:21:00.000-07:00

~SURVEY~
-[name:] Dustin Deckard
-[Star sign:] Sagitarrius
-[longest relationship:] romantic relationship? none.
-[ever had a long distance relationship:] friends, i guess, maybe, idk. Not like a romantic type thing.
-[do you have faith in long distance relationships:] depends entirely on the people.
-[ever been on a blind date:] nope
-[ever dated more than one person at a time:] no
-[ever have "friends with benefits":] lol... ya kinda
-[ever cheated:] not on a gf, no.
-[ever had your heart broken:] yes, not by a gf
-[ever been dumped:] no... okay listen I've never had a gf!!! gha.
-[what attracts you to a person:] personality (thats really broad though), attitude, etc.
-[physical traits you turn your head for:] Ask Nathan, he's the CHAMPION.
-[average age you get involved with:] I guess it depends on the maturity level of the person. Older than 14 and younger than 40 :P
-[have relationships changed you:] yes, friendships MAJorly
-[have your relationships been worthwhile:] same as above
-[where do you normally meet people for dating or relationships:] o you know... i hit the bars first, and work my way up to wallmart door-greeters! Hmm... actually no.
-[would you ever get married:] yes
-[key to a successful relationship:] God, trust, honesty, things in common, things to relate to, etc.

~DESCRIBE YOUR:~
-Wallet? black, cheap leather, has movie ticket stubs, no money, a couple hotel keys, a piece of a broken CD, the broken chain link from chapel last year, some business cards (I have Tyler Brickleys business card! shwa!), and umm... ya.
-Hairbrush? psh... raght.. as if I brush my hair.
-Toothbrush? idr... think its white and green.
-Jewelry worn daily? chain bracelets, an armband if i feel like it or something, a bracelt that says "Inspire", and whatever I feel like putting on my fingers at the time.
-Pillow cover? hahaha.. i just realized it has a moose on it.
-Blanket? i have a ton of blankets. they all look stupid, but o well :)
-Coffee cup? I have one with penguins on it.. it scares me, so I use my one that says "Today is the first day.. of the rest of this miserable week."
-Sunglasses? its called... BANGS
-Favorite shirt? waha.. hmm, my Evanescence shirt, my Demon Hunter shirt, and my shirt that says "Losing faith in humanity - One person at a time."
-Cologne/Perfume? w/e.. axe or Cool Water
-CD in stereo right now? Kutless
-Tattoos? none now
-Piercings? none now
-What you are wearing now? sweat pants and tshirt cause its stinking cold!
-In my mouth? orange tick tacks
-In my head? haha... as if i could begin to tell you what's in my head... a lot of things, like whats in store for me, how I can change for the better, etc...
-Wishing? haha, actually right now, i'm wishing that Marylin Manson would suddenly be spoken to by Christ himself, turn his life around, and make some awesome Christian music!!! Same with SLipknot, Nine Inch Nails and Metallica :(
-What are you doing after this? watch me find ANOTHER quiz...
-If you could get away with it and murder anyone? i couldnt do it.
-Person you wish you could see right now? :_( people.
-Is next to you? my other computer, my knife, piles of CD's
-Some of your favorite movies? HERO, The Crow, The Matrix Trilogy, Kill Bill 1 & 2, Final Fantasy: THe Spirits Within, Phenomenon, Solaris
-Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month? getting my life on track.
-The last thing you ate? tick tacks... *tap tap tap*
-Something that you are deathly afraid of? Satan, drowning in the ocean.
-Do you like candles? yes
-Do you like incense? yes
-Do you like the taste of blood? idk if i "like" it. Its not repulsive...
-Do you believe in love? yes
-Do you believe in soul mates? i believe there are more than one person out there in the world somewhere that are perfectly compatible with me.
-Do you believe in love at first sight? if its who you will marry, then yes.
-Do you believe in Heaven? yes
-Do you believe in God? yes
-What do you want done with your body when you die? this bugs me.. cause I dont really know.. I DONT want to be an organ doner anymore for some reason :(.. ahh i would kill to be buried next to POE :)
-What is the latest you've ever stayed up? i've been up for a good 72 hours or so before.
-Can you eat with chopsticks? hey ya
-What's your favorite coin? quarter.. sure.
-What are some of your favorite candies? Zero bar, anything minty, etc.
-What's something that you wish people would understand? Gods love.
-What's something you wish you could understand better? Gods love.

~HAVE YOU EVER...~
-Killed someone: nope
-Smoked: nope!!
-Gotten Drunk: nope
-Worn rainbow: nope
-Talked on the phone for over 3 hours: many a time
-Left the country: yep
-Had a party with over 30 people: no, i hate my house.
-Stolen something: yep
-Caught something on fire: muahaha HECK YES BABY! Not in like a month though :_(
-Wanted to cheat on someone: no
-Dumped someone: no
-Had a dream, then the next day it happens: yep

~LAST PERSON...~
-You Touched: uhhh nathan, actually, lol. He shoved a crud load of ice down my shirt.
-You Talked to in person: really TALKED, Emily. "yes" and "no's" to the fam don't count.
-You hugged/kissed: idk
-You Instant messaged: Dan, no one else is on at 3am!
-Who broke your heart: in a way, God.. and its a really good thing.

~ARE YOU..~
-Interesting: nope, I'm as boring as it gets.
-Smart: in my own little areas, but most of its too spread out
-Moody: I dont think so.. but i can definately get depressed at times
-Difficult: heck yes
-Attractive: no, sinfull by nature
-Bore Easily: wait.. do i get bored easily? no.. do i bore people? probably
-Controlling: not really. at least not any more
-Sad: always
-Happy: always
-Trusting: i want to be from now on :)
-Talkative: i can be, but it usually comes out as a ramble
-Ignored: i dont think so?
-Reliable: If i'm not, or you dont think i am, then TELL me, plz. I want to be
-Lonely: no

~DOYOU LIKE...~
-Tacos?: just meat and lots lots of cheeeeeeeese!!!
-Bread?: yessss
-Veggies?: ewwwwwww just potatoes and corn... i think
-Doritoes?: yep
-Pretzels?: i loooove pretzels!
-Chocolate?: heck yes. all kinds!
-Garlic?: most definately. Its handy for everything! Especially if you're having a problem with the living dead.
-Veal?: dont know.
-Chicken?: is good.
-Ice cream?: yep
-Hot Pockets?: okay.. but i'm almsot sick of them
-Popcorn?: not too fond. has to have TONS of butter
-Pop Tarts?: yep!
-Salad?: eww.. how many vegetables had to DIE for your stupid salad!?
-Coke?: not too fond
-Pepsi ?: its aight
-Gatorade?: rather have powerade

~HAVE YOU EVER?~
-Bungee jumped?: no :_(
-Gotten a tattoo?: not yet
-Sky dived?: no :_(
-Skinny dipped?: no
-Gotten your tongue stuck to a cold pole?: yes
-Had pop rocks and coke together?: ya! its awesome
-Played truth or dare?: not really
-Mixed sodas together?: shya
-Had sushi?: ewww
-Had deja vu?: arghhh all too often
-Hung up on someone?: yes :(
-Stood on your head and drank milk?: nope, have to try that sometime
-Cried during a movie: yep!!!
-Swallowed gum?: not in years. i dont swallow pills very well :O I cant swallow gum.
-Eaten glue?: Mmmmm... glue....
-Slept for more than 15 hrs?: heck ya, all the time.
----------

Wo0t! THats like.. quiz number 7 this week or something. Crazy!

Shwow...

2004-12-27T02:02:00.001-07:00

Dang I love reading good lyrics... seriously. Idk why.. but i do. I havent even HEARD this song... but the lyrics are awesome...

Troubled Heart
by: Kutless

A screaming man falls to his knees
His broken heart, inflicts the pain
He's withdrawn, no one knows his name
One mistake, now he's lost in shame

Amidst the pain, you're not alone
Though you can't see through the haze
His eyes of love are staring down
And He feels your troubled heart

Yes it's true, that someone cares
Your perfect friend, never leaving you
Strength is gone and you're feeling cold
You will know the truth that He told

Amidst the pain, you're not alone
Though you can't see through the haze
His eyes of love are staring down
And He feels your troubled heart

By Your grace You repair the broken pieces within
Somehow You take a man and make something more out of him

Amidst the pain, you're not alone
Though you can't see through the haze
His eyes of love are staring down
And He feels your troubled heart

Quiz

2004-12-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

1. Song i can listen to for hours and go to sleep with: Theres like a ton of these.. but one is definately My Immortal. And the whole Kutless CD :P
2. Movie or sumtin i can watch for hours ova and ova: The Crow, HERO, The Matrix trilogy, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, The Last Samarai, Kill Bill 1 & 2, etc...
3. Fav icecream flavor: coffee at marbol slab, eggnogg and cappachino at Braums :)
4. Weakness: i have too many to name them all on here :( Working on them though!
5. The kind of people i hate most: bigg headed people that won't even listen to someone, or someone who holds themselves above others.
6. The sexiest letter in the alphabet: sheesh... fcol.
The most feminine letter in the aplabet: see above.
8. Most masculine letter in the alphabet: ^
9. My biggest fear: a lot of things.. learning to let them go, though.
10. What i dont want to happen netime soon: I dont want to stumble..
11. What i like in a guy: (changing this to girl): good morals, lives out her faith, stnad up for waht she believes in, is random, doesnt conform, doesnt care about what others think of her, as long as she is living her life for God.
12. What i ABSOLUTELY hate doing: tons of things.. i dont like driving, or dealing with certain people at all.
13. The only thing i ENJOY readin is: what? I enjoy reading most everything except puritan literature - EWWWW
14. I've never...: had sex.
15. I cry when: I dont know what to do, when i feel convicted, when i feel like i'm losing someone, when i just cant understand certain things, when I need to let out some emotion.
16. I've also never..: gone to a public school.
17. Whenever i watch tv i...: it's really late at night. Dang.. i just realized i'm missing xFiles!! psh... you guys owe me.
18. Whenever i talk on the phone: I feel like someone cares.
19. What i do when i stay up till 330-4 am: talk to people online, blog, read fanfiction online, play online games, post in forums, etc.
20. My life long dream is to: see the world become a better place, or finally realize that there IS more good than bad here...
21. The worst way to WATCH sum1 die is..: in a fire.. because if i was just "watch"ing, then I wouldnt be helping them... and that would haunt me forever and ever.
22. If i was a superhero i would be: idk... sry.
23. What people dont usually think of me when they see me: i dont know what people think of me when they see me... so how am supposed to know what they DONT think?
24. What i hate about me: I want to say "everything," but that wouldnt be cool... cause I am who i was created to be. :)
25. The family member im closest to: idk.. either my Aunt Emma cause we share common interests, or my cousin Cody, cause we can relate.
26. Sumtin i wanna do but will never be able to: be a black metal singer :P
27. Where do i wish i was right now: somewhere closer to God and my friends.
28. What i OFTEN crave: :( cravings are evil.
29. What i do to make me REALLY happy: listen to loud music, play halo, read quotes!
30. Physical feature i dont like bout me: see question #24
31. Physical feature i like bout me: nothing really.
32. First friend: Caleb... he moved away the second semester of Kindergarten to New Mexico... i remember :( thats depressing
33. Fav movie when i was lil: Commander Kelly and the Super Kids
34. Fav song when i was lil: how little?
35. I make a wish when: something goes right.
36. I love: God, all my friends, .. I guess I love everyone to an extent.. it just doesnt seem like it. Idk.. thats confusing.
37. I have always wanted: to have long straight black hair
38. I have a bad habit of...: letting the "little" temptations get to me.
39. When i was lil i...: was a really bratty kid that got what I wanted.
40. My biggest scar: used to be on my left cheek, but its just about gone now.
41. I stopped...: listening to music that had an extremely bad influence on my life.
42. I have never: felt as close to friends as I do now.
43. I....: wish i could start over on life.
44. Most of the time: I'm distrcted.
45. I blush when: idk.. do i blush? like ever?
46. My fav thing to do online is: talk to people that care.
47. The ANIMAL (bug or whatever) that i am scared of: penguins.
48. If i met the president i would say: You told one man that you WOULD reveal the truth about Roswell to the nation.... what's up with that?

------------

heh... I love quizzes.

Ewww stale Krispy Kreams :P

2004-12-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

Hmm... random title there. Seriously though... when buying donuts from quicktrip at 3:45am... dont expect to get fresh ones.

Ok, so this is going to be one of those.. "THis is waht I did today" entries. Prepare thyself...

So yesterday... Christmas, wasnt it? Something like that... might have been Canada Day or soemthing and I got them confused.. but just go with me here...

So i woke up... like at 10, cause I convinced my dad to do Christmas stuff Christmas Eve night this year so I wouldnt have to wake up at 6 in the morning :P I'm selfish :( Sooo... I got my new computer set up and all. And I have a butt load of work to do this week on my web site :( blah. Here's my computer's stats... if you care...
3.2 gh P4
512 mb RAM (going to upgrade this to a gig whenever I get some MORE cash.. blah)
Hmm cant remember sound card stats and too lazy to look, i think its a 128 card though, its 3d sound... not too shabby, but i have cruddy speakers now so o well.
128 mb ATI Radion 3oox series graphics card. Its a cheap Radion model, but has enough power to hold me over with Half Life 2, i think :P I'm excited.
80 g HD
I got 2 drives, a DVD/CDR drive and a CDRW drive. I need to install one of my spair floppy drives in it sometime today.
Uhhh ... thats about it. I got a 17" flat panel moniter :D I feel like a nerd, sitting in front of 2 computers, 2 keyboards, 2 moniters, etc. Its Great, though! :) My new computer loves me. It hasnt even spazzed out once yet.

So... then I got up Sat morning, and went to my Aunts house for lunch with all my moms family. I thought it was going to suck... because old people in my moms family like to talk about the pioneer days :( But I watched ESPN 2 for like an our (trial bikes were on! wo0t!), and then played pool with my cousin for like 3 hours. I totally beat him like 5 times in a row :P He started doing really bad, though. And we talked about his piercings for like an hour :o He got his tongue, his eyebrow, both ears and his lip pierced all within like 6 months. Its crazy. Hmmm... my new cousin was there.. i didnt even know he was born yet... (i'm not a big family person.. i'm soo out of the loop). His name is Luke, and they call him Lucky Luke, cause he almost died being born. :) His dad (my cousin) is going back to Iraq in the spring though. :( He has 3 kids now, all under 5 yrs old. I dont understand the concept of having kids while you're away from home at war... but okay.

Then I came home... and found out my dads flight left this morning, I had no idea. So he made me do crap with him and my brother and sister... blah. We went to see A Series of Unfortunate Events (good family time right there... tell ya what.). Its actually a really stinking good movie. I'm glad i seen it.

So after that, it was too late to go to Holy Cross, and I didnt get to see Jacie and hear her and Bri sing :__( *This is where I try to say "I continue crying" in Spanish... but I gave up.* So that totally bummed my day. BLAH I hate how busy life is sometimes. Ghah it makes me mad. Its all so simple... except not.

I watched Quenton Tarantino's HERO with Jet Li like... Fri night i think. My gash.... I'm not even kidding here.. someone write this down... but I've found a movie that makes me happier than the Matrix. Ya.. i totally just said that. HERO rocks my world. That is THE single saddest, most emotional, most action packed movie I have ever seen in my life. I loved it so incredibly much. After the movie was over, i seriously was like.. breathless. THe ending is so amazing. If I would have been by myself I probably would have cried. Ghah... no joke. Its so amazing. We need to have a movie party.. and watch it (along with Peter Pan.. .roit Emily?). I cant wait to see it again... its so amazing. The music and sound in the movie is outstanding, and I seriously think it will win an oscar award for soundtrack. I hope so, cause its incredible.

I got a new pocket knife, finally. My old one was about to fall apart. You can have it if you want :P My new one's a Winchester. I lok it a lot. With the pocket clip off, its pretty well balanced.

Hmm...

I slept today from about 7am to 3pm. I didnt bother to go to bed last night, cause it was already 10pm, and i had to get up at 4am... so ya. Why bother?
Dang.. this is the life. I love waking up at 3!
I miss summer... except not really. Idk.

THats about it. Someone get off their butts and update their blogs (Tim did). I've been to so many blogs the last 48 hours... its sad.
Ttyl.

Awesome song....

2004-12-24T23:32:00.000-07:00

Artist: Disciple
Album: Back Again
Song: Not The Same

How can you be of God?
When you look, when you dress,
when you smell just like the world
Do you see me as being bad,
a friend your children shouldn’t have,
just one glance and you know what I’m about

It’s not the length of my hair, it’s not the clothes that I wear
But it’s the cross that I bear
Cause you know that I am

In the world not of it
Cause we gotta show the world He loves them
Even though we look the same we’re not the same

God where can I look for you?
What will it look like,
what will it be like when I gaze my eyes on you
Will I find You a hungry man, will I find You in a prison,
or will I find You in the office of a church?

Christmas!

2004-12-24T22:50:00.000-07:00

You know what? The only people on my buddy lists that are online right now are Kelly Stokes, Dan, and Zola. So... that either tells me that I dont have very many friends... or that you people actually have lives! Seriously though... it's not like it's 5 minutes till CHristmas or anything... why aren't you online?

An ACTUAL Update... not a quiz. Even though no one is here to read it...

2004-12-23T19:09:00.000-07:00

First off... do you hear the music? Click PLAY above the tagboard if you dont... its an awesome song by Kutless called "New Years Vow."
Secondly... i gotta put these lyrics on here... cause they rock my world. This song is stinking sad, and the lyrics are amazing...

We Bury Our Dead at Dawn
by: The Agony Scene

Their whispers become like cries...
Tears fall from blinded eyes
Ninty nine have burned as embers
Ninty nine have lost their lives

Tired arms now fight for life
Amidst the crashing waves they're drowning
Will you hold me until mornings light,
And i'll tell you what its like to die tonight

Its too late to cry,
Now she sees her face and screams.
Was once so beautiful...
Now kissed by flames

And showered with glass so beautiful,
Yet so cruel the way love tends to be
Her beauty - so cruel
The way love tends to be.

----------------------------

Ya.. I like that song a lot. And the band is great, too! No cursing or satanism from THe Agony Scene, no sir.
So... all i know is that Emily is driving to Texas right now.. and she's coming back Sunday. I heard Nathan is in like... Valley Center or something now, and is gonna be at his lake house (with no TV! gasp) through New Years. Anyone else doing anything intereting?

You know what? - NO ONE is online right now. and its 8:45! This is prime time!! sheesh...

GASP
** - I just checked http://www.theagonyscene.com/, and wo0t! - New album coming out early 2005!!! They should be done recording by Christmas!!! Heck yes!!! Sweet...
Argh.. you know something that i will NEVER get used to? Bands that ALWAYS go to Kansas City for their tours... never Wichita... *sigh* Its so depressing. But SHINEDOWN is coming.. that should rock, i hope i can go. And NAOS PROJECT is coming to Ground Zero ZFM Studios on January 18th, so come out for the show, people! Ask Emily, they're lots of fun!!!

I really don't like the whole concept of CHristmas trees :( I think it's dumb. Why the heck would we pick a TREE to be a symbol of Christmas? Why not a manger? WOuldnt it be great if everyone went out and bought MANGERS instead of trees? You could put your presents in the mangers, instead of under the tree! That would be more simbolic than a stuid TREE. Gosh... . And i especially hate that my mom insists on getting a REAL tree every year... its so annoying. Argh... I have pet peeve issues.

Hmm... thats about it. Everyone have a great Christmas, but dont get caught up in it all. Its a set national holiday, sure.. but Christ wasnt even born on December 25th, as Bri pointed out to me eirlier... so ya. Its just another day... . Remember the reason for the season, have safe travels, etc... CYA!

Biggest Quiz EVER, hands down - I WIN!

2004-12-23T04:03:00.000-07:00

001. What is your full name? Dustin Lee Deckard
002. Spell your name backwards: spell it yourself, stupid, its right there ^
003. Date of birth: 11.28.88
004. Male or female? Male
005. Astrological sign: Sagittarius
006. Nicknames: whatever
007. Occupation? Student, webmaster
008. Height: like 5’10’’
009. Weight: 140ish
011. Eye color: blue
012. Where were you born? Wichita
013. Where do you reside now? Wichita
014. Age: 16
015. Screen names: Pr0ph37of7ruth
016. E-mail address: man_of_war@msn.com
017. What does your screen name stand for? Prophet of Truth – One of the three covenant hierarchies from Halo 2
018. What is your xanga name? u dun need to know my xanga name, this is a blogspot
019. What does your xanga name stand for? See above
020. Pets: only one that a like, a cat
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake? Idk.. I stopped blowing out candles a while ago
022. Piercings? None now
023. Tattoos? None now
024. Shoe size: 11
025. Righty or lefty? left
026. Wearing: shorts & tshirt
027. Hearing: Skillet - Collide
028. Feeling: solitary
029. Eating/drinking: water

~Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff~
030. Have you ever been in love? Not with a person
031. How many people have you told "I love you"? and meant it? More than 5 and less than 50?
032. How many people have you been in love with? This is too vague. No one romantically.
033. Does someone in your family wear a toupee? no
034. Do you have any nieces or nephews? no
035. Are your parents divorced? Not legally
036. Do you have step parents? No, might as well though
037. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family? Psh, probably
038. If so for what? idk
039. Did some of your family come to America from another country? Ya, sure.

~Music Stuff~
040. What song do you swear was written about you or your life? Nowhere Kids, by Smile Empty Soul
041. What's the most embarrasing cd you own? Prob Newsboys
042. What's the best cd you own? Good Question.
043. What song do you absolutely hate? All the popular rap songs
044. Do you sing in the shower? If no one else is home
045. What song reminds you of that special someone? Define "special someone"

~Okay, I Name An Artist And You Give Any One Of Their Songs!~
046. Pink: Like a Pill
047. Aerosmith: Dream On
048. Madonna: Die Another Day
050. Backstreet Boys: I want it that way
051. The Beatles: Yellow Submarine.
052. Sublime: Slow Ride
053. J.Lo: Love Don't Cost a Thing
054. Nsync: Dirty Pop
055. Limp Bizkit: Behind Blue Eyes
056. Britney Spears: I’m Not a Girl
058. Enrique Iglesias: Hero
059. Good Charlotte: Hold on
060. Christina Aguilera: Beautiful
061. Eminem: Stan
062. New Found Glory: Sonny
063. Kelly Clarkston: Break away
064. Kelly Osbourne: Shut Up.
065. Mandy Moore: Walk me home
066. Eve: argh… cant remember
067. Aaliyah: Rock the Boat (RIP Aaliyah)
068. Nelly: Ride With Me
069. Alicia Keys: idk
070. Incubus: Forgive Me

~Favorites~
071. Color: black, red, silver, greys
072. Food: nothing specific
073. Song: too many. My Immortal is a biggie
074. Show: TV? X-Files
075. school subject: Newspaper or English
076. Band/singer: Amy Lee
077. Animal: Domestic Housecat
078. Outfit: as if I had a favorite "outfit"
079. Radio station: havent listened to radio in forever… ZFM lives on.
080. Movie: The Crow, The Matrix trilogy, Kill Bill 1 & 2
081. Pair of shoes: don’t care, but I like boots. (not cowboy)
082. Cartoon: "A Kids Story" from the Animatrix. Its amazing.
083. Actor: Kianna Reaves, Brandon Lee0
84. Actress: Cary Ann Moss, Jenifer Garner
085. Potato chip: fresh baked tortilla chips
086. Drink: Venom, Rooster Booster, Red Bull, Adrenaline Rush, Rocket, No Fear, etc…
087. Alcholic drink: port wine is really good.
088. Holiday: Fourth of July (I’m a pyro)
089. Perfume/cologne: Cool Water or most Axe, sure
090. Pizza topping: italian sausage
091. Jello flavor: ewwwww. But black cherry
092. Lunch meat: turkey or salami
093. Board game: Dungeons and Dragons counts
094. Video game: Halo, Halo 2, Half Life 2, The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind.
095. Website: bungie.net
096. Book: Way too many…
097. Computer game: Half Life 2, Doom 3
098. Number: 117
099. Cereal: ugh
100. Comedian: Wanda Sikes… I think that’s her last name.
101. Dessert: I forgot what its called, lol… :P
102. Disney character: uhhhhh idk. Someone from Tron.
103. Clothing store: Hot Topic
104. Pastime: Vid games, movies, reading, web design
105. Teacher: Loftin, Riffee *tear
106. Childhood toy: my stuffed Ducky
107. Carnival game/ride: squirrel cages!
108. Candy bar: Zero
109. Magazine: GamePro, Maximum PC, Official Xbox mag., Wired
110. Salad dressing: ewwwwwwwwwww
111. Thing to do on the weekend: Halo 2, movies, sleep in, stay up till 5am
112. Hot drink: White chocolate mocha
113. Season: Autumn
114. Sport to watch: Aggressive inline, video gaming (G4 TV baby!), or prob paintball
115. Person to talk to online: lots of people

~Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits~
116. What color are your sheets? grey
117. What color are your bedroom walls? Its this stupid wood thing.. hard to describe. Its not wallpaper or paint.
117. Do you have posters on your wall? Heck ya
118. If so of what? Bands, video games, 2 of aliens, one of a medieval dragon, my very own street sign that I live on, its huge, and not really a poster.. but it counts. And some more, but I’m too lazy to turn around. Mostly video games though. And 3 matrix posters and 2 disciple posters
119. Do you have a tv in your bedroom? Yes
120. How many pillows are on your bed? 2
121. What do you normally sleep in? you seriously don’t need to know this.. its pointless unless your looking for more than just casual info. and in that case... ew.
122. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: whatever I fall asleep in usually
123. What size bed do you have? Twin.. idk, its small
124. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed? daybed
125. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom? Not my own line
126. Do you listen to music while trying to fall asleep? yap
127. Describe the last nightmare you had: no.
128. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no
129. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? Not sure, and don’t plan on testing it.
130. Do you sleep in any unusual positions? no
131. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling? no
132. Do you snore? No, but occasionally talk in my sleep
133. How about drool? No
134. Do you have an alarm clock in your room? Yes
135. What color is the carpet in your room? Stupid brown/red pattern thingy
136. What's under your bed? A whole bunch of useless crap and school supplies

~This or that~
137. beach/mountains: Mountains
138. Donuts/bagels: depends.
139. Day/night: Night
140. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: help me out hurr Emily…
141. Heaven/hell: heaven awaits
142. Make love/have sex: both… at the same time… within marriage!
143. Coffee/tea: COFFEE
144. Britney/Christina: both need a turn-around
145. Swiss cheese/american cheese: SWISSS
146. Real World/Road Rules: MTV needs to go back to its roots
147. Backstreet Boys/Nsync: BS Boys came first
148. Silver/gold: Silver
149. Nike/Adidas: Adidas
150. McDonalds/Taco Bell: taco bell
151. Sweet/sour: both – its life.
152. Punk/emo: emo
153. Hot/cold: Cold
154. Winter/summer: Winter
155. Spring/fall: Autumn
156. Operas/plays: operas
157. Read/watch tv: Read, unless its xFiles
158. Cd's/tapes: Cd's
159. Dvd's/vhs: Dvd's
160. Old/new: Both.
161. Shorts/skirts: wow… it depends on length, for both. Keep it modest, girls.
162. Pink/red: Red
163. Colored/black and white photos: Black and white mostly.
164. Meat/vegetables: ewww vegis, meat all the way!
165. Mexican food/chinese food: chinese
166. Commercials/infomercials: Kill both.
167. Scary movies/comedies: Scary Movies all the way! *Blair Witch Project
168. Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: for girls? One piece, plz, keep us guys in line.. it helps.
169. Sandals/tennis shoes: Boots.
170. Dogs/cats: Cats
171. Unicorns/fairies: Pixies!
172. Water/land: land
173. Sugar/spice: Spice
174. Black/white: Black
175. ribbons/bows: Ribbons
176. Chicken/beef: depends
177. Colored/white christmas lights: White
178. Cars/trucks: Cars
179. Austin Powers/James Bond: POWERS, BABY!
180. Popcorn/pretzels: pretzel
181. Hip/hop: shoot them both, plz.
182. Passionate kiss/peck: uhhh both have their purposes.
183. WWE wrestling/real wrestling: neither, they both exploit woman like none other.
184. Back rub/foot massage: Back Rub
185. Picture frames/photo albums: Frames.
186. Pens/pencils: Pencils, or old-school REAL pens

~What Is Your Opinion Of The Following~
187. Eminem: hello… your stupid video’s are NOT funny.
188. Virgins: Live long and prosper.
189. God: almighty.
190. The Osbournes: hehe… Ozzy rulez (not really), Sharon reminds me of Mrs. Coleman, Jack needs psychiatric help, and Kelly is just awesome, but no one understands her
191. Reality TV: shoot me now.
192. J.Lo: get a grip
193. Religion: We are not physical beings having a spiritual experience, but we are actually SPIRITUAL being having a PHYSICAL experience.
194. Emo music: amazing
195. Valentine's Day: depends
196. Christina Aguilera's comeback: don’t go there. She tried to be Brittany.
197. Homosexuals: they’re PEOPLE… Jesus loves them, but marriage is between a man and a woman.
198. Abortion: Not if you made the choice to create life... idk wut i think if its rape.
199. Inter-racial relationships: Love is love.
200. Murder: idk.
201. Death: is coming, thank the Lord.
202. Obesity: gluttony is a sin.. but this is a real problem for some, so its all good.
203. Pre-marital sex: ABSOLUTELY FREAKIN NOOOOOO!
204. Terrorism: Just a difference in opinion.
205. Pornography: not cool at all. Only leads to bad shtuff…
206. Fortune tellers: are all too often posers… . and then the real ones (medians, etc) get crap because of the fake ones.
207. Threesomes: can I get a hey ya for 3-person MSN convo’s?
208. Prostitution: morally and biblically wrong in every sense.
209. Politics: Lets not even start.
210. Country music: can be good, but is too simple and unoriginal.
211. George W. Bush: idk. I’m glad he has no problem with living out his faith.
212. Cloning: I honestly don’t know… I need to meditate on this.
213. *question involves Brittany.. that’s all you need to know *
214. Gas prices in America: retarded!

~Name Game~
What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Names?.
215. Jack: Osbourne
216. Tiffany: Jewelry
217. Ben: Corn Maze… corn in my hair… jerk.
218. Maria: a spanish song from DDR
219. Jennifer: GARNER baby heck ya, I love Daredevil!
220. Nicole: someone at TA
221. Amy: AMY LEE
222. Adam: running
223. Richard: gold-hoarding king.
224. Justin: Superbowl (Timberlake.. get it?)
225. Arnold: Machines take over world… once again.
226. Tom: Uncle Toms Cabin
227. Melissa: sounds like "Marissa" so TA
228. Charlotte: Good Charlotte
229. Harold: one of the first home-buyable robots.
230. John: Mulvane
231. Joel: 8th grade
232. Vanessa: Tennis
233. Michelle: Branch… "Everywhere"
234. Kevin: nothing
235. Brent: nothing
236. Jake: nothing
237. Billy: Graham
238. Sarah: nothing
239. Natalie: nothing
240. Christi: hospital
241. Nick: bass
242. Linda: Kentucky
243. Taylor: Paintball
244. Jordan: in my physics class
245. Jamie: old friends from bethel that I always see at Ground Zero
246. Adrian: Nothing

~Have You Ever....~
247. Mooned anyone? newp
248. Been on a diet? No pop diet
249. Been to a foreign country? Ya
250. Broken a bone? Yes
251. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling? idk
252. Swear at a teacher? noo
253. Talked to a xanga member via e-mails or instant messages? yes
254. Got in a fight? Most pit TOTALLY counts.
255. Dated a teacher? newp
256. Laughed so hard you peed your pants? Not that I remember…
257. Thought about killing your enemy? Argh Satan.
258. Gone skinny dipping? newp
259. Met another xanga member in the flesh? Ya… Emily and Dan have Xanga’s
260. Told a little white lie? No. ha jk.
261. Told a secret you swore not to tell? Not that I remember.
262. Stolen anything? Yes
263. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid? Probably :(
264. Been on TV? Broadcasted? no
265. Been on the radio? Yes, THE EDGE
266. Been in a mosh pit? HECK STINKING YA BABY WOOOOT!!!!
267. Been to a concert? Yes!
268. Dated one of your best friends? No, but a date SHOULD BE a best friend, anywayz.
269. Loved someone so much it makes you cry? Yes
270. Decieved somebody close to you? Not that I remember
271. Broken the law? Heck yes.
272. Been to a rodeo? YUP, many many
273. Been on a talk show? newp
274. Been on a game show? newp
275. Been on an airplane? yup
276. Got to ride on a firetruck? ya
277. Came close to dying? Probably many a time
278. Cheated on a bf/gf? NO
279. Gave someone a piggy back ride? sure
280. Terrorized a babysitter? no
281. Made a mud pie? sure
282. Had a dream that your falling off a cliff? YES
283. Snuck out of the house at night? Yes
284. Been so drunk you don't remember your name? NOOOO
285. Had an eating disorder? no
286. Felt like you didn't belong? Yes
287. Felt like the 3rd wheel? Not specific enough… but sure
288. Smoked? No, the smell is enough to make me hate cigs
289. Done drugs? Nothing illegal or for the purpose of getting wasted, ever, and never will!
290. Been arrested? No, thank God.
291. Had your tonsils removed? No
292. Gone to camp? Yes
293. Won a bet? Yes
294. Written a love letter? Hmmm idk.
295. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love? I havent felt really romantic love yet.
296. Written a love poem? Yes
297. Kissed in the rain? No, but cant wait till I’m married. Well, ya I can.. but I’m just saying… that sounds coolio.
298. Slow danced with someone you love? Yes and no, cause I already said how I feel about romantic-type love.
299. *question deleted for the sake of my privacy... sheesh *
300. *question deleted for its vulgarity *
301. Stolen a kiss? Uhhh… no. never been kissed.
302. Asked a friend for relationship advice? Heck stinking ya. But "relationship" is a broad word.
303. Had a friend steal your bf/gf? No, never had one to get stolen.
304. Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love? As already said.. I havent had that type of love.
305. Gotten a speeding ticket? no
306. Done jail time? No
307. Had to wear a uniform to work? Yes, 5 days a week L
308. Won a trophy? ya
309. Thrown up in public? no
310. Bowled a perfect game? no
311. Failed/got held back? no
312. Got perfect attendance in grade school? yup
313. Roasted pumpkin seeds? no
314. Taken ballet lessons? no
315. Attempted suicide? No
316. Cut yourself? yes

~Childhood Stuff~
317. Did you play with Barbies? No.. that’s what lego’s are for
318. Did you own Treasure Trolls? no
319. Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210? Yes :(
320. Did you play Simon? Whats that?
321. Did you watch Fraggle Rock? newp
322. Did you wet the bed? I don’t think so
323. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? Everywhere, still do. Bah.
324. Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them? Uhhh how bout no.
325. Were you shy? ya
326. Were you spoiled? Ya, I had a pony.
327. Were you abused? no
328. Did you go to the circus? ya
329. Did you go to the zoo? yes
330. Were you in a car accident? no
331. Did you build snowmen? yes
332. Did you cry when you scraped your knee? Probably at some point. Crying for physical pain isnt an issue for me.. I see it as pointless. Sry. I know it can hurt like crap, trust me.
333. Were your older cousins mean to you? ya
334. Did you think slinkies were cool? Ya
335. Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer? "think"? no. "knew" – yes.
336. Were you afraid of the dark? No.
337. Did you have slumber parties? Uhh newp.
338. Did you have New Kids On The Block sheets, curtains, sleeping bags, dolls and PJ’s? nooo
339. Did you tease your hair out? newp
340. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy? Newp, not really.

~Randomness~
341. Do you believe in aliens? Here we go… extra-terrestrial life forms and spiritual entities are commonly confused. I don’t, in fact, know if they are separate beings. But in either case.. YES!
342. Name three things that are next to your computer: Coffee cup, A Purpose Driven Life, Computer Joystick
343. Do you have any hidden talents? Sure.
344. Do you wish MTV would play more music videos? More ROCK
345. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? Horror – I would die.
346. What would your movie star name be? Extra #117
347. Do you play any sports? I’m hardcore oldschool gamer, I aggressive sk8 when I can, etc.
348. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? Depends on situation and location.. but either the Grudge or The Blair Witch Project.
349. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently? "Solaris" and "Phenomenon"
350. What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen? Sry… Napoleon Dynamite
351. Do you drive? rarely
352. What is your dream car? Mitubishi Lancer Evolution VII
353. Do you think your good looking? newp
354. Do others think you are good looking? Ask them yourself, lazy porker.
355. Would you ever sky dive? Heck yes
356. Do you believe in Bigfoot? I believe there is/was a creature/’special’ person with the characteristics and reputation of Bigfoot.
357. How many rooms do you have in your house? No clue, and I am SOO not going to count them up, just for you.
358. Are you afraid of roller coasters? Heck stinking no.
359. Do you believe in God? Yes.
360. Do you believe in Satan? Yes.
361. Do you believe there is a heaven? Yes.
362. Do you believe there is a hell? Yes.
363. Do you own a pooltable? A mini one.
364. Do you have a pool? no
365. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen? Yes
366. Do you like chocolate? Yes!
367. Who/what is on your calendar? Its on My Corkboard on the computer. It has a ghost on it..
368. How many U.S. states have you been to? I’m NOT counting for you.
369. Ever wished on a shooting star? Yes.
370. Best Halloween costume you ever wore? Havent ever wore an actual costume :(
371. Do you carry any weapons on you? Pocket knife, and I’ve carried my diving knife strapped to my leg before, but its not comfy so no.. and its illegal so ya.
372. What is your weakness? How bout, "sinful by nature."
373. Name something you can't get enough of: The Crow
374. Describe yourself in 3 adjectives: No.
375. How many kids do you want to have? Depends on my wife, and how I feel about kids the day of my wedding…
376. Future daughters names: not going here
377. Future sons names: or here
378. What is your ideal way to die? Either a peaceful death in bed, where I can focus on what it feels like to die, or something violent like fighting someone who tried to mug/rob me.
379. How do you release stress? Lots of ways. Some good some bad.
380. Are you a trendy person? Uhhh I don’t think so.
381. Are you an artisitic person? I try, usually it sucks.
382. Are you a realistic person? Yes…. People would argue that though.
383. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? Depends on which shoes
384. Are you a strong person Physically: average
385. Are you a strong willed person? Yes
386. Who is the last person to e-mail you? Tim
387. Who is the last person to IM you? Dan
388. Do you hate chain e-mails? Yes
389. Are you a deep sleeper? NO
390. Are you a good story teller? Ugh I am THE WORST story teller ever.
391. What do you believe is your best quality? You tell me, plz.
392. What is your greatest accomplishment? Right now, I’d say throwing away CD’s that were not good for me.
393. Do you like to burn candles or incense? Yes.
394. Do you do yoga? no
395. Do you have your own credit card? no
396. Let's say you win the lotto: put enough of it in savings to get a nice piece of interest, donate 10%, buy my friends what they’ve always wanted, prep me for college, deck out my house, then get mah car.
397. Do you have a check book? newp
398. Do you like your driver? Uhh my mother? idk
399. Do you tan easily? Idk, hate sunburn… and sun, in general.
400. What color is your hair naturally? Blonde L
401. How many fillings do you have? none
402. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit? idk
403. Worst feeling in the world? Feeling torn
404. Best feeling in the world? Catching a glimpse of my purpose.
405. Is the glass half empty or half full? *steps on and breaks the stupid glass, ending this quiz-question curse *
406. Last thing you downloaded? MESSENGER PLUS
407. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life? newp
408. What do you think people think of you? idk.. confused person, prob.
409. Are you a likeable person? I don’t think so
410. Do you need therapy? Heh… I would like some, to try and uncover stuff… but I’m fine without. I just think it’d be interesting enough to visit a shrink.
411. Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance? no
412. What the best way to be proposed to? I’d rather do the proposing, thank you.
413. What kind of movie would you star in? asked before.. a horror.
414. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? They would still have two names.. because people are stupid like that.
415. When are you moving? All depends on what mah life’s like junior and senior year.
416. What's your favorite phrase? O gosh… wayyy too many to just start naming them off. Lately, I’ve some Matrix theology junk in mah head, like… "To an artificial mind.. EVERYthing is virtual." And "how do you know you senses aren’t lying to you?" eh? I love the matrix.

Can't think....

2004-12-22T20:17:00.000-07:00

I can't think of anything to write an entry about. Maybe i should stop trying... i keep losing my train of thought. I've done that like... 10 times today.

Me and EMily are sooo going to the mall next week! (since i havent been shopping in 3 weeks). We're going to go Orange Julias... and then go to Journeys and throw shoes at people to get Mark in trouble. Buahaha...
And then go watch the Phantom of the Opera~ cause it looks cool.

I cant wait fro White Noise to come out! I think it's like... january 21st or something.

They havent even put a release date on COnstantine yet... i soooooooo want to see it :( why so far away?

argh i dont want to go to bed.. but i'm tired. And if i go to bed now.. then i'll be bored all morning tomorrow... so i should wait to go to bed at aorund 4 or 5... then sleep in, and the day will almost be over by the time i wake up! woot!

uhmmmm ya. I be leaving now.

QUIZ'sz'szszsss's

2004-12-22T18:56:00.001-07:00

what's ur favorite...
CD: i have a lot... but "SUmmer of Darkness" by Demon Hunter is amazing, and I'm really into the first Kutless Cd and "Collide" by Skillet.
tv show: X-Filesbook: I actually really really really like "THe Death of Ivan Ilyich" by Tolstoy - its amazing. But other than that.. that Halo books.
store: Hot Topic
movie: The Crow, THe Matrix trilogy, Kill Bill 1 & 2... tons tons tons more.
vacation: Havent really had one :( Family vacations dont go over too well in my fam
state: it would probably be washington or Maryland
country: probably be England... but i dont know.
messenger program: MSN.. cause its technically better in every aspect... but everyone has AIM
song: My Immortal by Evanescence, Hello by Evanescence, Heartstrings Come Undone by Demon Hunter, Praise You by Disciple, or A Little More by Skillet
when was the last time you...
laughed: yesterday, trying to teach Scott Goodson how to move, AND aim his gun at me at the same time in Halo 2... o wow... that kid needs to be cultured
cried: i dont remember exactly when, but in the last week
were sick: like 3 weeks ago
ate something: uhhh I made myself a dang quesadilla a few hours ago
drank something: uhhhhhhhhh it was Folgers Mint Cafe Lotte like half an hour ago.
went shopping: like 3 weeks ago i think, i dunno.
watched tv: yesterday i watched Fear Factor. blah that show is stupid, they never do anything DANGEROUS, sheesh.
went to a movie: Oceans 12 with Taylor and Andy like 2 weeks ago, but i want to go see "Darkness" this weekend
talked on the phone: a few hours ago with Emily

---------

~*~RED~*~
1. What’s your favorite kind of apple? the kind that's cut up into tiny pieces and baked into a scone... mmmmm... had one of those today. English food rawks.
2. Strawberry shortcake or strawberry ice cream? shortcake.. but NOT Bethel's shortcake... ew
3. Stop signs/lights? - signs
4. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop? not in a car... but i got pulled over to the side from a cop at a WSU game like a month ago for trying to get into the "SASO room". I guess you have to be a donater to get in there... lol :P
5. Do you run stop lights? i dont drive....

~*~ORANGE~*~
1. Orange juice or orange smoothie? neither, cranberry juice! mmm
2. Do you like Orange Julius? hey YA Pina Colada's rawk.
3. Make up a word that rhymes with orange and define it: ummm... No.

~*~UNIQUE~*~
1. Nervous Habits? pick and bite my nails... i get mad at myself a lot :(... I think I'm kinda selfish... I hate country music almost too much... too often i try to be something i'm not... I realized that i like, dont have ANY Bible verses memorized... i watch too many R-rated movies... i DONT listen to bad music anymore :D <- thats a good thing... not a bad habit, but still.
2. Are you double jointed? no
3. Can you roll your tongue? no
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? kind of. I think i just figured out how to move my ears... crazy
5. Can you cross your eyes? i think... i dont know
6. Tattoos? dont have any, but prob will get at least one SOMEtime. Nothing really obvious or out-there, though.
7. Piercings and where? none now, but sometime, yes
8. Do you make your bed daily? actually yes, usually.

~*~CLOTHES~*~
10. Which shoe goes on first? left
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? no
12. On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet? changes all the time... depends. usually no more than 5 or 6 bucks...
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? just bracelets and an armband or something

~*~When was the last time you~*~
Slept in your bed: last night...
Spent the night at your house: last night.....
You shared a drink with someone: idk, prob a long time ago, cant remember.
You went to the mall: like 3 weeks ago
Sent an e-mail: today
Said "I love you” and meant it?: haha probably to Tyler because he says that a lot
Gotten in a fight w/ your dog/cat/bird/fish, etc.?: no... my dog is so stupid...
Been to New York?: no :( i MIGHT go over the summer though, for 2 weeks with no parents! that would rock my entire world. But there's only about 2% chance, because I'd need about $3,500. But it counts as 2 college credits!!!!
Been to Florida?: no... blah. I want to go to college in Florida though. Full Sale baby!
California?: ghahhhhhhhhh no :( I could go to Full Sale here, too, though.
Hawaii?: nope, dont really care. I dun think Hawaii would be my thing.
Mexico?: Yup, but not the tourist part. We stayed in the ghetto, and couldnt go out after 10pm.

~*~bold the ones that apply to you~*~
1. I have a camera - BAH no, its terrible :(
2. I like the color maroon - yup
3. One of my favorite animals is a duck - uhh no
4. My room is pink - ughhh my sisters room is bright pink ewwwww
5. I like to play chess - depends against who
6. I’m a band geek - sure. I played snare drum in 6th grade hahahahahaha I was a joke.
7. I have my own computer - pshya! And gettting a new one this weekend hey YA!!!! Thank the Lord.
8. I have my own phone line (not including cell) - bah, unfortunately no :( I hope to get a DSL line soon, though.
9. I have a cell phone - psh no.
10. I have broken a bone before - yup, my left arm 3 times in the same year
11. My room is the smallest in my house - nope, the biggest by far, actually, but it's unfinished and i'm a lazy porker, so I have a lot of work to do on it.
12. I wear a bracelet/necklace/ring daily - ya, bracelets and an armband whenever i feel like it. And I would wear my skull ring from Bri, but i keep it on my nightstand cause it glows in the dark and its coooool, but its a little itchy.
13. I have a boyfriend/girlfriend - no
14. My mom’s name is Kate - uhh no
15. I love American eagle - HAHAHAHA ... no
16. I couldn’t live if there wasn’t a mall nearby - mall? nearby?
17. I like barney - its a conspiracy
18. I LOVE the backstreet boys - how bout no?
19. I have been to a clay aiken concert - hahahahahahahahaha no
20. My sibling(s) are some of my best friends! - wow... as if.

QUIZ'sz'szszsss's

2004-12-22T18:56:00.000-07:00

Quiz

2004-12-18T14:18:00.000-07:00

Y 0 U
[ .01. ] first name: Dustin
{ .02. ] middle name: Lee
[ .03. ] last name: Deckard
[ .04. ] nickname(s): whatever people feel like calling me at the moment. I dont care for nicknames much. Unless it's a screenie.
[ .05. ] gender: male
[ .06. ] birthday: 11.28.88
{.07.} Height: like 5'10'' ish
{ .08.} Hair Color: blonde... blah
[ .09. ] eye color: blue
[ .011. ] do you have braces: no
[ .012. ] is your hair long or short: well, long on a guys standard i guess.
[ .013. ] where were you born: wichita
[ .014. ] current location: wichita
[ .015. ] zodiac sign: sagittarious
[ .016. ] how many languages do you know: well, if computer languages count, then maybe like 4 or 5 i think
[ .017. ] what laungage do you want to learn: C++
[ .018. ] bad habits: hate decisions, can't confront people, pick my nails when i'm bored, lots more
[ .019. ] piercing you have: none
[ .020. ] piercing you want: either an eyebrow or chin. don't know why.. i'd like it. who knows[ .021. ] tattoos you have: none, but i want "H A L O" across my right hand knuckles
[ .023. ] today: Saturday
[ .024. ] today's date: 12.18.04
[ .025. ] the time: 2:30ish
[ .026. ] ready for a bunch more questions: sure
F A M i L Y
[ .027. ] mother's name: Norma
[ .028. ] father's name: Roger
[ .029. ] brother's name: Paul
[ .030. ] sister's name: Kathyrin (not sure if thats how you spell it, honestly)
[ .031. ] favorite aunt: Emma
[ .032. ] favorite uncle: Bill
[ .033. ] favorite grandparent: uhh i dunno
[ .036. ] worst relative: Aunt Chris. she hates me, we dont get along.
[ .037. ] best relative: Aunt and Uncle Bill and Emma
[ .038. ] do you get along with your parents: rarely :(
[ .039. ] does anyone in your family understand you?: uhhhh NO
P E T S
[ .040. ] do you have any pets: yes
[ .041. ] what are their names: Sammy, Molly, Fritzy (Fritsy? sp?)
[ .042. ] what kind of animals are they: Cat, Dog, Cat
S C H 0 0 L
[ .043. ] are you still in school: yes
[ .044. ] did you drop out: no
[ .045. ] current gpa: no clue
[ .046. ] favorite grade: probably next year. i dont know.
[ .047. ] least favorite grade: i dont know
[ .048. ] favorite teacher: Loftin, Riffee, Cunningham
[ .049. ] least favorite teacher: JAY, Warner (he counts), Taylor (sry), uhhh ya. theres more.[ .050. ] favorite subject: Spiritual Formations or English or Newspaper
[ .051. ] least favorite subject: History, Physics, SPanish, Geometry
[ .052. ] do/did you buy lunch or bring it: i buy
[ .053. ] play any sports on the school's team: used to play golf. i sucked
[ .054. ] do/did you do any extracurricular activities: Robotics, Junior Optimist club, Scholars Bowl
[ .055. ] are/were you popular: by the worlds stupid standards no, dont care.
[ .056. ] favorite dance: I dont know, havent really had a favorite. wait.. take it back. Freshman dance was fun cause we stargazed for like 2 hours.
[ .057. ] favorite memory: Dont really have one. well, if its somehting recent, then when i double-fragged these two freakishly good Halo 2 gamerz with dual Needlers on Xbox Connect.. cause that took skeelz, and i was extremely proud of myself.
[ .058. ] favorite memory you want to have: what? as in like a fantasy? uhhh getting hired by Bungie or interning at Bungie or meeting Jason Jones or Joseph Statin or Marty O'Donnel or Frank O'Conner.
[ .059. ] least favorite memory: most of this week.
[ .060. ] most humiliating moment: i dont know
F A V 0 R i T E S
[ .061. ] number: 777, 117, 243
{.062. ] letter: idk
[ .063. ] shoes: i dont care much about shoes, so ya. whatever
[ .064. ] saying(s): "Somebody tell me why it feels more real when I dream, than it does when I'm awake." "Follow the white rabbit." "Free your mind." "Use the talent you posses, for the woods would be very quiet if no birds sang except the best." "And death shall have no dominon."
[ .065. ] TV show: X-Files, Unexplained Mysteries, Stargate SG1, the old Starship Troopers cartoons
[ .066. ] sport: Gaming
[ .067. ] vegetable: potatos
[ .068. ] fruit: mmm grapefruit. most def
[ .069. ] movie: 2 many too name them all, but The Crow, The Matrix trilogy, The Return of the Jedi, The Blair Witch Project, Kill Bill 1 and 2, etc...
[ .070. ] magazine: Wired, Gamepro, Official Xbox Mag., Game Informer, Maximum PC
[ .071. ] actor: Lawrence Fishburn, Kianna Reeves (sp?), Brandon Lee
[ .072. ] actress: Cary Ann Moss, Jennifer Garner, Jada Pinkett Smith
[ .073. ] candy: Swedish fish
[ .074. ] gum: anything wintergreen
[ .075. ] scent: umm i like how Laser Quest smells. or the golf course, actually.
[ .076. ] candy bar: ZERO bar
[ .077. ] ice cream flavor: cappicheno chunky chocolate or Eggnogg
*question has been deleted due to its stupidity*
[ .079. ] season: Autumn
[ .080. ] holiday: Fourth of July, cause you can start fires, blow things up, and shoot projectiles at people, and get away with most of it.
[ .081. ] band: Dont get me started. PLZ
[ .082. ] singer: Amy Lee
[ .083. ] group: uhhhh hello, try "band"
[ .084. ] rapper: ew
[ .085. ] type of music: lately i've been liking Punk a lot. but either Black Metal or Screamo or anything hard rock pretty much.
[ .086. ] thing in your room: 2 Disciple Posters
[ .087. ] place to be: depends. wherever people can be open and honest and REAL.
[ .089. ] tv channel: UPN... does that count? or Sci-fi channel. idk i dont have cable or sattelite[ .090. ] junk food: hmm i eat crackers a lot.
[ .091. ] overall food: lots of things. Good fresh seafood or Chinese from PF Changs
[ .092. ] store: Hot Topic or THe Third Planet
[ .093. ] hangout: could be anywhere. depends on mood.
[ .094. ] fast food: Long John Silvers or QT
[ .095. ] restaurant: PF Changs or SUMO or Joes Crab Shack
[ .096. ] shape: hmmm Swatshticka (sp?) lol
[ .097. ] time of day: the nighttime noon. or around 3am pretty much
[ .098. ] country: idk.
[ .099. ] state: not kansas... i havent been to most of them, so i dont know. but it'd probably be washington
[ .100. ] boys name: dont feel like answering this
[ .101. ] girls name: or this
[ .102. ] mall: GrapeVine mall in Dallas Texas. they have a HUGE indoor skatepark, and a Wizards of the Coast shop! but it'd probably be different if i'd been to more than about 4 malls. so ya.
[ .103. ] video game: Halo 2, Halo, The Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind, Half Life 2, Doom 3, lots lots lots more...
[ .105. ] board game: does D&D count?
[ .106. ] computer game: Halo or Half Life 2
[ .107. ] car: Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VII, or the new Audi A8
[ .108. ] music video: My Immortal or Everybody's Fool i guess. [ .109. ] swear word: ya right.[ .110. ] word: quintessence.
[ .111. ] month: October
[ .112. ] cartoon character: Mister Cheif from Bungie.net. A Frank O'Conner original.
[ .113. ] scary movie: The Blair Witch Project (just watched last night).
[ .114. ] team: Team USA who took first in the HALO tourniment at the 2004 WCG (World Cyber Games)
[ .115. ] possession: Halo 2 limeted edition.
WHATS THE FiRST THiNG Y0U TH0UGHT 0F WHEN Y0U HEAR..
[ .116. ] eminem: he try's so hard.
[ .117. ] dog: kick
[ .118. ] hot: Topic
[ .119. ] britney spears: clothing (or lack of)
[ .120. ] nsync: Disney
[ .121. ] orange: Master Cheif's Visor
[ .122. ] black: crow
{.123.} School: communist
{.124.} heart: bleed
( sorry the numbers arn't in order from here!!!)
W 0 U L D you ever??
[ .215. ] bungee jump: yesssssssss
{ .216. ] sky dive: yessssssssssssssssss
[ .217. ] swim with dolphins: not in the ocean
[ .218. ] scuba dive: nooooooooooooooo
[ .219. ] go rock climbing: YESSSSSSSSSSSS
[ .221. ] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: no, thats sick and wrong
[ .222. ] steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: see above
[ .224. ] lie to the police: no, but i wouldnt say anything to begin with probably. Hello right to remain silent.
[ .225. ] run from the police: maybe
[ .226. ] lie to your parents: yes
{ .227. ] walk up to a stranger and kiss them: never
[ .228. ] be an exotic dancer: haha roit. how bout no?
[ .229. ] walk out of a restaurant without paying: on accident
[ .230. ] streak: probably not
what did you do...
[ .297. ] last birthday: nothing big. i was in Arkansas. just a regular day..
[ .298. ] yesterday: finals. ate a bagal. watched 3 movies. wow i need a life.
[ .299. ] last weekend: paintball, movie, Kobeys, and it went downhill from there...
[ .300. ] last christmas: cant remember. probably went to Arkansas
[ .301. ] thanksgiving: Arkansas
[ .302. ] new year's: went to palmers uncles house, which is the coolest houe ever, and played pinball machines and his MAME machine, lot more stuff. drank alchahol (bad me). not doing that this year. nope. nodda, at all.
[ .303. ] halloween: stayed in boring ol' Rose Hill and talked to Emily on the phone
[ .304. ] easter: can't remember. probably not much at all.
[ .305. ] valentine's day: homecoming
T H E L A S T
[ .306. ] thing you ate: polish hot dogs. cause my mom is sick and i have to cook for 4 people all weekend. blahhhhhh
[ .307. ] thing you drank: hot tea
[ .308. ] thing you wore: penguin shirt, jeans, who cares?
[ .309. ] place you went: Wichita Library and rented 8 movies.
[ .310. ] thing you got pierced/tattooed: nothing.
[ .311. ] person you saw: sister.
[ .314. ] person you talked to: brother. actually yelling cause he's in 8th grade... and he didnt even know how to turn the oven on to pre-heat.
[ .315. ] Last song you heard: Halo 2 orchestral theme song.
[ .316. ] what are you eating: chocolate mini-muffins
[ .317. ] what are you drinking: cranberry juice. with chocolate... ew
[ .318. ] what are you wearing: penguin shirt and jeans... i swear i already typed that. o ya, 308. same thing
[ .321. ] listening to: "Slipped Away" by Avril
[ .322. ] talking to anyone: myself.

And it all comes crashing down...

2004-12-12T17:18:00.000-07:00

A day could not suck more. and its not even over yet. I dont have my priorities straight. I hate decisions. I dont have a side. I'm sorry, i dont even know what i did.

Enlightenment sets in...

2004-12-12T05:43:00.000-07:00

Okay,
A few minutes ago I destroyed 20 of my CD's. Ya - you better belive it. Thank you, Dan. I feel really good about it... but i'm scared i'm going to go crazy in the morning. I still have some CD's that i'm debating destroying or not... but I've decided that I want to be listening to more stuff that lifts me up.. NOT crud like Nine Inch Nails, Marylin Manson, Slipknot and Cradle of Filth. So if any of you guys have some favorite Christian music (rap and country excluded... very sorry), plz let me know if you'd mind letting me copy it - i'm very music-deprived now.

"Im in no way saying a true Christian must be perfect. No way. It's all about the heart and and how you seek to live you life. You may, and will, mess up. But it's how you get up from that and move on and make sure you try to not do it anymore that matters."

"You make your life about living for God and making yourself the best person you can for Him. No one can be perfect. But it's the heart that matters. A heart that will want to do what it can to constantly change and better the wrong parts about it."

--good words of wisdom.

Ahh... the only thing.. I'm just so worried that I'm going to fall off of this spiritual-high and crash and burn.... you know what i mean? I dont want to just get revved up and then be the same in a month. I want to change! Permanently.

Alright... to keep this relatively short.. I'll let you go now. Thanks for reading.. I honestly appreciate it.
If you could pray for 2 friends of mine that are really going through some crap right now.. that would be awesome. One of them is into some drug stuff, and I dont know what to do about it yet. The other is having some problems with people he really cares about... and I dont want it to end up worst-case-scenario. So ya... lift them up if u can. Thx.

I think I am going to be dead tomorrow morning. I went paintballing today, so I'm going to be sore and tired.. and I'm only getting 4 hours of sleep. Eh, this will be fun. Goodnight then.. err.. morning...

new layout and stuff!

2004-12-08T20:32:00.000-07:00

ok... quick update..

Got this shpiffy new layout - it rawks my socks. The person in the picture is LINK, the hero of the Legend of Zelda video games. Hence... he is NOT Zelda. Zelda is the princess he rescues. Thank you.

SO ya... maybe i'll get back into this blogging thing. ... maybe.
I need to fix a tagboard back on here. working on that...
Also need music...
And links...
And blinkies...
And a bio...

O wow.

So ya... thats my life in a nutshell... except that i am uber tired roit now! I'm going on less than 2 hours of sleep. Last night i lost track of time checking emails and reading Gamespy.com and Bungie.net stuff, and didnt even go to bed until 5:30am. SHWHOA. so i'm like... dead. i fell asleep readin earlier today. blah.

Alright... here's the happy version of emily's shoutout - :D

EMILY

So yup yup yup.... that's TOTALLY your name.

Ice skating sounds fun... i'm excited. might e paintballing this saturday...

I need sugar.

I need caffeine.

I need sleep... forget the sugar.

ttyl,

Dustin

For those who said this day would never come... What say you now?

2004-11-08T15:44:00.000-07:00

By morning, the world will be a better place. Starting at midnight, literally millions of kids and adults alike will be playing the next greatest video game of all time, into the night and through the wee hours of the morning. Also, the Make A Wish Foundation will hopfeully recieve over one million dollars in donations from .. guess who... Halo 2 fans. Thousands of Halo fans have agreed to give one dollar when they pick up Halo 2. That rocks my socks. Finally, maybe gamerz will get some recognition. Prepare yourself... Halo 2 is coming. Wake up to a new world.... changed, for the better.

O *tear* I'm so emotional now. Thats just dandy.
O joy... a quiz.

1. What name did you once wish you had? Actually... Justin, cause eveyone would call me "justin" cause they thought i sad THAT instead of "Dustin".. so it would just be easier for everyone.. AND, on top of that, I think Justin was one of the original power-rangers's names.. so thats a plus.
2. What is/are the ugliest names you can think of? don't know. I tend to like the "ugly" names better. They're original and individualistic (is that a word?)
3. What would you name these, if you had them as pets?
a) Turtle: mmm... turtle. I'd eat it.
b) Duck: target practice.
c) Rabbit: fluff 'n stuff
4. If there was a song about you, what would it be called? i dont know.. that's such a typically stupid question.
5. What would you name your kids? i like the name "Silver" for both guy or girl i guess.. but other than that, i dont exactly meditate on this.
6. If you had a ship, what would you name it? *fear of the ocean*.. unless its like a SPACE-Ship.. Ooo..
7. If you could name your own flavor of ice cream, what would it be called? who cares.
8. Have you ever thrown up in public? no
9. Have you ever eaten or drank anything spoiled? i had this coconut juice once... it was so stinking nasty.. it had alchahol in it (i bought it on accident, i swear! I thought it was just coconut juice.. ) but it was so grose even with the booze in it that it MUST have been rotten.
10.Have you ever tripped while checking someone out? not that i can recall. i like, never trip.
11.Have you ever had to pay for something you broke? nope, even though I blew up a computer's power box once.. .i should have payed for that. O well.
12.Have you ever passed out? in surgery yes.. the doctors lied to me. stupid idiot doctors. "fresh air" my butt. Argh... that makes me so mad.
13.Have you ever had a crush on somebody? I'm human. AND a teenage guy. sue me.
14.Have you ever been stuck in the rain? it makes it sound like this is a negative thing.. I love the rain!
15.Have you ever been attacked by an animal? a couple dogs, an anteater that wants to eat me, i swear.. some cows.. a horse once.. O and a Brama bull (that was a scary one.. i could have died)
17.Have you ever fallen asleep while driving? nope, i've never even fallen asleep during a movie. I can stay awake for soo long. its great.
*another REALLY BAD question*
19.Have you ever made a wish that came true? ya, in one of those creepy emails that says make a wish then it will happen, and the phone rang exactly how many minutes later it said it would and EVERYthing! coincidence? or fate? or luck? who know... i dont, and dont care. o well.

Complete the sentence
20.I once had a dream... where i was trapped in a burning building, but i wasnt alone.. but i couldnt tell if anyone was alive or not, cause when i went to check their pulse.. my hands were burned so bad i couldnt feel anything. that sucked.
21.I dont even know why.. i havent straightened my stupid hair.
22.Nothing is worse than…feeling useless or unwanted.
23.If I had six bucks I'd buy… Max Payne 2 for Xbox

would you do?
*REALLY REALLY BAD! sheesh wut is up with all these bad questions?!?!?*
25. Somebody was about to steal your car? chase that idiot down and teach them a lesson.
26. You wake up with a thousand spiders all over you? spazz out
27. Britney Spears showed up at your front door asking for jumper cables? You aint revving my engine at all.. go put some clothes on, slut. (sorry.. the truth hurts sometimes)
28. If you had a time machine? NEVER EVER go to the future.. thats for sure. But i'd sure as HECK go back to the day...
29. Be a ninja or a pirate? ninja fo sho.
30. Find a cure for cancer or a cure for AIDS? too hard of a question. I keep thinking long-term. i think one day someone will figure out a way to spread the AIDS virus like they do anthrax and such... just wait.
31. Be in a drama movie or a comedy? Definately drama. there's only a few movies that i actually find funny.
32. Be lost in the forest or stuck in a box? a box.
33. Be in a hip hop video or a hard rock video? take ONE freakin guess. hello ROCK. I'd of killed to be in the Slipknot music video to "Duality."
34. List 3 words that are clues to identifying a person you are currently interested in… 3 words? why? if u wnt to know, u can ask me, i might tell you, if u dont already know.. but this question is just dumb.
35. If you were a place on Monopoly, which place would you be? I DONT KNOW stupid questions

What is your opinion?
36. "Girls are nothing but drama." not true. Thats looking at it stereotypically...
37. "Alcohol is the answer to all your problems.." Alchahol USED to be an answer to SOME problems. like PAIN. but not anymore.
38. "Your car stinx." uhh... YEP, but its not a car.
39. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder.." true.. and not true. can be both. depends on the PEOPLE.
------

one pillow or two? 2
pool or hot tub? Hot Tubs. but lets keep it modest, shall we?
chocolate or vanilla? w/e i feel like.
black or white?black
paper or plastic? paper
movies or TV? movies
hug or kiss? ABRAZOS!
pen or pencil? Pen
radio or cd's? CD's
camera or video camera? camera!!!
up or down? down
close friend or many acquiantances? both
email or snail mail? they both have their purposes
internet or telephone? see above
loud or quiet? see above
boybands or real bands? ugh stuid people who dont know anything about music. A band's a band. its all about personal preference
dogs or cats? cats
****ARE YOU.....****
smart? when i want to be, i suppose
good looking? nope, dont care.
humorous? dont know.
adventurous? shya
claustrophobic? not at all
responsible? when i feel like it
independent? HA. ask bryanna.
shy? if i want to be. mostly just avoidant i guess, i dont know
self conscious? sometimes
in love? THat depends on if i believe in fate or not.. cause love is forever.. and i'm sure my soul mate is out there...
nosy? i hope not.. i hate that!
happy? sometimes
****DO YOU.....****
get along with your parents? ha. next question.
have siblings? sadly
like school? sometimes
want to go to college? ya, or a trade school
know where you want to go to college? Full Sail school of Game Design, in Florida or Tokyo. Tokyo would be the coolest! :D
like rollercoasters? heck yes. Mr. Freeze and The Superman Tower of Power baby! wo0t!
eat meat? ya, i'm like the opposite of vegetarian
drive? occasionally, i'm not a driver though. i hate it for the most part.
got a car? crappy truck
have a job? no.. video tech shut down, and i was going to work there this winter and next summer. blah blah blah
sports? Scholars bowl, i need to get back into Aggressive inline for the exercise.. need to start running a lot more.
have a hobby? Edgar Allen Poe, all things computers, VIDEO GAMES, Halo, Halo 2, Runescape, graphic design, etc...
have a pet? My 2 cats, indoor= Sammy, outdoot= Fritz... our dog doesnt count.
****HAVE YOU EVER....
*****SICK AND WRONG QUESTION…skippin it*
done drugs? nope
been drunk? nope
*sick and wrong question AGAIN*
eaten sushi? tried SOME stuff... not a big fan.
been skydiving or bungee jumping? sadly no.. but i will! hopefully this next summer. o i can't wait.
been skiing/snowboarding? snowboarding yes.. it was a blast, but i didnt get much practice before i crashed and burned and was out for the day.. stupid ankles.
been really embarassed? probably.. o ya.. at some gold meets.. blah
skipped school? not really "skipped" but faked sick i guess.
lied just to get off the phone? not that i can recall, but prob.
-------

10 songs/CD's /bands you've been listening to lately...
10. Chevelle
9. Soundgarden
8. OZZY!
7. Black Label Society
6. THe Agony Scene
5. Breaking Benjamin
4. Evanescence
3. Slipknot
2. Shinedown
1. Ian Van Dahl

9 Things you look foward to...
9. Sadie.. if we ever have it.. sheesh
8. The morrow.
7. The Play
6. Halo 2
5. Re-reading the Halo trology
4. Reading more Poe
3. Xbox 2, code-named "Xenon"
2. Half-Life 2
1. Next months Gamepro

8 things you like to wear...
8. CLOTHES.. hello
7. see above
6. see above
5. see above
4. see above
3. see above
2. see above
1. see above

7 things that annoy you
7. Questions like this
6. parents
5. Life
4. the sucky world
3. TA's hypocricy, along with my own
2. holier-than-thou "Christians"
1. moochers

5 things you do every day
5. Bungie.net
4. haloplanet.com
3. forumplanet.com/haloplanet
2. read
1. write

4 people you want to sped more time with..
4. If i answered this specifically...
3. then i would
2. feel bad. so..
1. EVERYONE!

3 movies that you could watch over and over again...
3. The Crow
2. The Matrix
1. Kill Bill volume 2 (and 1, but i liked 2 better)

2 of your favorite songs at the moment...
2. Send the Pain Below, by Chevelle
1. Exodus, by Evanescence

1 thing that's onyour mind...
1. Who am I?
-----

SO.. hoped u enjoyed. But don't lie if u didn't. O well. Go visit another blog..
Props to Amanda for "letting" me steal those quizzes off of her blog.
kk.. i leave now. if u feel so impelled, make my day slightly better and comment. Maybe tell me who u think i am.. i dunno. O ya.. great day. haha.. HA.

And update @ last. AND a quiz! 2 for 1!

2004-11-04T19:46:00.000-07:00

-- Basics --
Name: Dustin Lee Deckard. (ya.. go look me up, you stalker!)
Birthday: November 28th
Screen name: MSN- man_of_war@msn.com AIM- stupidcornhole
Eye color: light blue-ish i think. Eyes are portals to the soul!
Hair color- Blonde..
Nicknames: Spartan_666 (o ya.. bungie.net forums.. great times)
-- Favorite --
Number: 777 or 117 or 333
Color: dark blues/red, silver or black
Place: Ground Zero ZFM studios, Natural Bridge Tennessee, Cincinnatti River walk
State: Cali, Florida, Washtington, Ohio
Country: England prob
Book: Nightmares and Dreamscapes by Stepehn King, The Oatch by Frank Perretti, IT by Stepehen King, and many many many of Edgar Allen Poe's short stories and Essays and Poetry.
Game: HALO and HAHLO 2 duhhhhhh
Drug: Pixie Sticks all the way!!! (not really guys)
Movie: THE CROW, The Crow: Salvation, The Crow: Stairway to Heaven, Kill Bill volume 1 and 2, The Matrix Trilogy
Store: Hot Topic, The Third Planet
Magazine: GamePro, Game Informer, Xbox Magazine, Maximum PC
CD: "Summer of Darkness" by Demon Hunter, The Agony Scene CD, "Hangover Music: Volume 3" by Black Label Society, "New Medicines" by Dead Poetic, "Ride the Lightning" and "Master of Puppets" and "Kill 'Em ALL" and "Black" and "S&M" by METALLICA!!!
Singer: as in ... individual singer? The Demon Hunter singer or the Shinedown singer... but all time = AMY LEE
Internet activity: bungie.net
-- Do You --
Cut yourself: "No, thats Bryanna's job" <- tru dat
Pick your nose: no. these quizzes get dumber and dumber every time
Whine a lot: try my hardest not to
Yell a lot: shya
H8 a lot of people: yes.. and no. Hate is futile.. but still.
Want to die: Yes. but not now.
Believe in life after : Yes. details are sketchy.
Go to church: Bethel = Pentacostle... HCL = Lutheran. I'm like the worst hybrid ever.
Love school: some classes and some teachers and some people.
Have a bf/gf: this question is dumb and personal. u shouldnt let the whole world know about it i think
Wear dark colors: yup yup when i can (cough stupid uniform cough)
Try to be different: we shouldnt have to "try" to be different, we already are.
Have any piercings: not currently, but i want to get an eyebrow pierced someday. i dont know why, i think it would be cool.
Break bones a lot: Not in a while.
Dye your hair: not currently
-- Have you ever --
Attempted ... (i'm guessing this used to say "attempted suicide" before Nathans filter butchored it): nope
Killed someone: maybe. not that i'm aware of.
Worn rainbow: ewww
Talked on the phone for over 3 hours: shyaa
Left the country: yup
Had a party with over 30 people: "had: as in "hosted"? no
Stolen something: yes indeed.
Broken a bone: several fingers, left arm 3 times
Ran away from home: not for long
Burned yourself: heck ya
Set something on fire: mmm not in a couple weeks... *goes to get lighter and realizes that i'm STILL out of butain... blah*
Wanted to cheat on someone: NO
Fell in love online: o ya... yesterday, u know. NOOO!
Asked someone out: this isnt clear enough
Been dumped: no
Dumped someone: nope
Had a dream then next day it happens: cant remember
-- Pick One --
Cat/Dog: CATS
White/Black: Black
Hot/Cold: Cold
Far/Near: Far
Water/Land: Land
Online/Phone: depends
Beer/Book: BOTH... lol jk. def Book.
Novel/Poetry: Poetry for the most part i guess... but i looove a good book. Havent read one in a while... (o wait... ya i did! "Halo: First Strike"
Music/Silence: They both have their purposes
-- Last Person... --
You touched: dont know.
You talked to: My parents... blah
You hugged: AHH! i just realized its Michael Hephner! AHH!
You kissed: never
You IMed: Hope
You yelled at: myself
-- Are You... --
Understanding: try my hardest to be
Open-minded: yes, about a lot of things
Arrogant: if i am, plz slap me (if your're NOT hephner
Insecure: nope.. and just a random question... who would put "yes" to this question anyway?
Interesting: I try
Hungry: not currently
Smart: about some things i guess.. but not many
Moody: lately yes... blah
Childish: try not to be... but then BE with some things... its so confusing!
Hard-working: when i want to be
Organized: about some things
Healthy: sure
Emotionally stable: ha ha ... ha... .. NO
Shy: not shy, but reserved. (tranquil as a forest, but on fire within)
Difficult: plz clarify?
Attractive: no
Bored easily: actually no.. i jsut pretend to be. If i get "bored" i just "ponder, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore"
Messy: a lot of times..
Thirsty: for BLOOD. buaha
Responsible: whe i want to be
Obsessed: 4 days, 2 hours, 35 minutes, 12 seconds.
Angry: Yes
Sad: Yes
Happy: occasionally
Trusting: depends on person. i want to be.
Ill: terminally
Talkative: when i feel like it.
Legal: hmmm... lets see... i crossed the border in ol' 91...
Ignored: try to be by most
Deep thinker: gotta love deep thinking. (Are we in a dream inside a dream inside a dream?)
Self-disciplined: when i want to be (i.e... i'm catching up on sleep in prep for Halo 2)
Sleepy: nope.. its only 9:30
Lonely: every day. but thats who i am, deal widdit. i have amazing friends.
-- Who do you want to --
Kill: The jerk who hacked Halo 2 from France, the RIAA, Covenant, Kansas, etc...
Slap: Hephner, but he would cry.. so no. and I don't hit people. Its just dumb all the way around.
Tickle: oo read "Dateable." Gives a new perspective on tickling.
Look like: who i am.
Be like: THose who i look up to.
Talk to: Edgar Allen Poe most of all. dang that would rawk.
---------------------

Sheesh that quiz was terrible. O well. Twas fun, wasnt it? SO, i dont know if anyone will read this, since I havent updated in many moons. I've lost all of my frequent visitors from the days my Lair. Hmm... thinking of going back to a red and black layout. I picked a few cool ones out.
U decide.... yay or nay?

Kickoff of tech-week tomorrow. At Friends, woot! I have noooooo clue what the heck i am going to do, so i just hope I wont end up standing around annoying everyone. O well, it will be better than staying home all night watching the Crow a few more times. Although I hope to re-watch the Star Wars trilogy this weekend. Dunno why. Just think i need to, havent in over a year! Its terrible, i know. THeres like... 198 days till Star Wars Episode III i think.. dont quote me on it. O well.

Blah.

Blah.

More Blah.

I should be in Austin, Texas right now, playing Halo 2 with 776 of my fellow Halo-obsessed homeboys. I emailed the Sleeping Princess and asked her if she could sneak a copy of the Queen's transmissions log past the Pious Flee and possibly get it to me. Its likely that she won't respond... but it's worth a shot. ANything is.

Hmph. What to do...
I shall leave. Adiew... and hopefully I will continue this update with a sequential one, on the morrow.
Good night and good dreams to you all. Wo0T~!

mididb.com <- go go go! its awesome!

2004-10-16T23:10:00.000-06:00

So.. found that^ sight today, its so cool. THey have midi's for like... every popular song out there. The song you're listening to right now is "Don't wanna miss a thing" by Aerosmith.. in midi format. Ya Tim, someone jsut like you got bored one day, recorded that, and uploaded it onto that site. Noice, eh?

Okay... 2 people have asked about this ripway thing.. so here ya go - I'll try and make this as short as i can.. cause I'm kind of verbose...

Go to ripway.com. It only takes a sec to set up a FREE ACOUNT. Its just like photobucket, except you can store any file you want, not just pictures, AND you get more space and more bandwith. So, if your acount is set up and working fine, then follow these steps to put your music on there...

1) upload the file you want to play on your blog into your ripway account. after logging in, click "my files" at the top, then "upload".. then select your file, and upload it. Now, on your file list, there should be the file you just uploaded, and underneath it, there should be a URL for the file.

2) If your file is NOT, i repeat NOT a MIDI, then copy and paste this code into your blog somewhere in the side section...

Put that code in there.. and where it says "INSERT URL HERE" in the code, THAT is where you paste the URL of your file on ripway. get it? I hope u do... cause i just broed myself by typing all of that. O ya.

------

Okay.. so its only 12:30... no-ones on. Emily was on at 11:30, so she's cool. But was anyone else? NOOOO. tsk tsk.

Hmm... I watched Star Wars Episode 1 again today. Ehh, so much cheese. Seriously... its like they were TRYING to cheese-up that movie in some parts. Like how Anikan insist on saying "Whooop-eeee!" to every single freakin thing that Qui-Gon says. Sheesh, i was ready to bash in my head every time he said that. IDIOT. gosh...

did i ever say what the best quote from Ashtons party was?

*Nathan and Michael dancing*
Adam says...: "They're gonna regret that when they get AIDS."

HAHAhahaha... omg that was so funny. lol. definately.

hmm... boredom. I'll play runescape now. I need to get my smithing levels up.. but it takes soooo long! sheesh. Ashton, i dunno how your bro got to level 50... but i don't see myself getting there anytime soon. Meh.

go me

2004-10-12T19:38:00.000-06:00

Maybe you've heard the news already. If not.. then o well. U will by tomorrow. Ya.

I'm kinda bored. I need a movie to watch. But i dont have any that I havent already watched 10 million times. O... I'll watch The Terminator with one of the audio commentaries that i havent listened to yet. Those are fun.

New music... its the Mortal Combat theme song. Great movies... . pure cheese, but awesome fighting and video-game-ness action. Like i hear Sky Captain is... but thats cool, cause i like those movies.

Has anyone watched Drew Carey's new show "The Green Screen Show"? its so stinking awesome... cant wait for thursday to watch it again.

AND thursday is first scholars bowl practice!! at freakin 7:10 am.. but o well. I hear PJ is bringin snacks... YES!!! score! Scholars bowl is gonna be so fun this year... Emily, PJ, Austin W, TIMBA, Kelly Stokes, ... o crap. I forgot. Ashton did u sign up? Kristen? crud... i feel terrible now... cause i KNOW i forgot someone. Dangit. o well.. slap me tomorrow.

Dangit.. i forgot to do my grandparents day essay/poem thing again. That sucks. Hmm... dang.. i still have a take home quiz for geometry too. Maybe i should stop.

Holy crackers (yes... crackers)... these entries suck these days. Wussup widdat?

-Dustin

Yay for X-Files!

2004-10-11T19:05:00.000-06:00

Alright... i dont have anything to about, but i told Emily i would pdate tonight... so here ya go. Btw.. she's desfinately my hotw.. cause she knows what POGS are! I'm bringing them tomorrow... it will be great. Great fun.

Hmm... I lost my train of thought... hence - new paragraph. So.. new music! I'm sure tim is dissapointed, but i will get another Tim-original song on here soon enough. Just htought I HAD to put X-Files on for a little while.
OOO i love the X-Files! whoot w0ot! It's now on TWICE on sunday nights... 11-12pm, and 12-1am. Go me... I'm so tired on mondays now.

Ehh... strange mood. Today kinda sucked. I ate bunched of potatoes, got a major tummy ache, felt like crap the rest of the day... then came home... my mom made dinner, and guess what it was? Pot roast and carrots and potatoes and such, and she made like... tons of potatoes! And of course... she expected me to eat bunches of them. Why do i keep saying bunches? O well.

Ehh... I keep forgeting that i have this window open. You'd think i would remember that i'm UPDATING. But no... I forget.

Hmm... hottopic.com is fun. THey have tons and tons of random stuff. (emily.. like on-legged "pants")... . And tinker-bell mugs! And The Crow soundtrack... and tinker-bell towels! But emily cant buy the towels... cause she only needs ONE, lol!

Ugh... i forgot again.

You all need to play Runescape! I'm so addicted. Its great fun... you just have to get the hang of it first. My ID is "spartan_6666" without the quotes, if u want to add me to yer friends list.

Girls and Non-Girls Bible Study - THIS Friday Night @ HCL

Hmm... I'm running out of things to say.

Guess that my exit-cue. Night all...

-Dustin

In Memorium

2004-10-07T20:31:00.000-06:00

As much as I'd like to create a entry filled with great biographical information and such about Edgar Allen Poe, alas, I don't have the time or the energy. So, it is with great mourning that I simply acknowledge the death of this great American poet, writer, and person. Ashton has already posted "Alone," my favorite Poe poem, so now I post "The Conquerer Worm," my second favorite Poe poem.

1843
THE CONQUEROR WORM
by Edgar Allan Poe

Lo! 'tis a gala night
Within the lonesome latter years!
An angel throng, bewinged, bedight
In veils, and drowned in tears,
Sit in a theatre, to see
A play of hopes and fears,
While the orchestra breathes fitfully
The music of the spheres.

Mimes, in the form of God on high,
Mutter and mumble low,
And hither and thither fly-
Mere puppets they, who come and go
At bidding of vast formless things
That shift the scenery to and fro,
Flapping from out their Condor wings
Invisible Woe!

That motley drama- oh, be sure
It shall not be forgot!
With its Phantom chased for evermore,
By a crowd that seize it not,
Through a circle that ever returneth in
To the self-same spot,
And much of Madness, and more of Sin,
And Horror the soul of the plot.

But see, amid the mimic rout
A crawling shape intrude!
A blood-red thing that writhes from out
The scenic solitude!It writhes!- it writhes!- with mortal pangs
The mimes become its food,
And seraphs sob at vermin fangs
In human gore imbued.

Out- out are the lights- out all!
And, over each quivering form,
The curtain, a funeral pall,
Comes down with the rush of a storm,
While the angels, all pallid and wan,
Uprising, unveiling, affirm
That the play is the tragedy, "Man,"
And its hero the Conqueror Worm.

-THE END-
---------------------

Dang... I would kill to write like that. He was probably the most influential American writer ever. Ya... he was great. But now he's dead. Taken from us by bitter-sweet death.
I'd like to breifly point out that there is evedence that he was NOT drunk or intoxicated when he was found in the street on October 3rd. Many people now believe he was actually beaten by a street gang that night. At least thats what the original doctor that seen him said. Lots of controversy about that topic...

ANyways, I got to go. Nightmares to you all, night,
-Dustin

New Music!!!

2004-10-05T17:30:00.000-06:00

Yaya! I finally got one of Tim's exxcellent songs on here! Thats right... you're listening to the one and only Tim Brunson! I don't know what he calls this song... but i like it.
In case you want to know... I put the song on here my hosting the file on ripway.com, then you can take the big code at the top of the music codez page on ceruleandream.com.. then copying the file URL from ripway, into the code from cerulean Dream. THen just past the whole code into your blog somewhere.

Yay great fun. Bored now... better go. DOnt you love these short entrys?

Dustin

Congrats SpaceShipOne!

2004-10-04T16:57:00.000-06:00

If you haven't been keeping up with SpaceShipOne's story, check it out ... http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsArticle.jhtml?type=scienceNews&storyID=6409795&section=news. It's worth reading about, today will be remembered FOREVER.

I was up watching X-files last night (starts at 11pm), and after it was over, I expected Unexplained Mysteries to come on... but NO... there was NAOTHER episode of X-FILES!!! I as sooo uber excited. Ya go X-files!!! I loooove xfile.... can't even explain how much I LOVE THAT SHOW yaya!

eh... boredomness. Maybe I'll watch Terminator 2 later. I watched the first one last night. Goood movie, although the 80's cheese can be intolerable at times.

I dont even have anything to talk about any more. Why did I decide to update again? O well.

Ttyl,
Dustin

Quizzy = Pathetic first 'real' entry

2004-09-28T18:13:00.000-06:00

Ur most missed memory? This is depressing... I can't think of one. If anything, it would be some school or church event. I actually had a ton of fun at WGC. Me and Austin Walton and Brian Funk and Adam Heil (going to STATE) and Taylor SMith. Good times. AND (no joke here) me and Austin and Brian and Taylor were in a convo about the paranormal and conspiracy for OVER an hour. It was so awesome. Had a lot of good discussion. Adam was busy looking at maps trying to find a constabulary by a river... by a bridge... by a suply depot... by the praying hands... (or something like that) and we ended up at the NUNNERY! It was awesome. We're like driving around the convent looking for balloons and there are all these awesome nuns looking through the windows at us. Twas crazy.... I love nuns!

#of crushes u have?? This is dumb... if you have mor than one crush at the same time, then you need to get your priorities straight. And people shouldnt worry at ALL about "crushes" anyways. Its all in Gods plan... you arent gonna change it just because you have a stupid CRUSH.

wat did u/r u doing friday nite? Going to the tailgate party, watching the games (not), hopefully hanging out with friends, coming home and watching a movie or something.

last time u were sad? About 2 and a half hours ago... cause I seen one of my friends in sadness... twas sad, but i hope you have an amazingly awesome night!

wats ur middle name? Lee... as in Kyle Lee, or Amy Lee, or Brandon Lee

inside joke? This is sad... I can't think of any... or at least any that i was a part of. Hmm... well, twas me that Bryanna started her finger-killing rampage on (the prints are still there). uhmm... Nathans "bewtz." I created an awkward moment today at Cassady's house, lol. o_O

wat r u wearin? Wouldnt you like to know, STALKER. But you're probably watching me roit now.. so why bother?

r u a procrastinater? I was in the newspaper for it. the caption says "Procrastinator Dustin Deckard struggles to finish his Bug Project before class starts." lol... that was before I became a co-editor and got the power to take stuff like that OUT of there.

last ting u ate? Chocolate chip muffins. go me

favorite song? O gosh... here we go... "My Immortal" still rawks my world every time... "Personal Jesus" by Marylin Manson is incredible... "THe Reason" by Hoobastank... "Roads" by Blindside... "A little more" by Skillet.... "My Own Prison" by CREED.... "Broken Wings" and "In Loving Memory" by Alter Bridge (Mark Tremonti is an amazing song writer).... "Believer" by JAKE (from the Left Behind movie soundtrack wut wut?)... "meet with me" by Ten Shekel Shirt... "Praize You" by Disciple.... "Heartstrings Come Undone" and "I Play Dead" by DEMON HUNTER.... "And She Said" by Thousand Foot Krutch.... .... I'm done... even though there's tons more. Seriously... not even kidding.

if u could be newhere where would u b? LOTS of things come to mind (go figure... I'm in Rose Hill). Playing AIr Hockey at Holy Cross (in the LIGHTHOUSE), Listening to the piano in the music room at TA, On top of Natural Bridge, In Mammoth Cave (kentucky), On the Lickin River in a kayake, ... OMG, i totally almost forgot my NUMBER ONE place I'd like to be right now or ANYtime - GROUND ZERO ZFM. Listening to Demon Hunter or Disciple... . That's most definately x2 my happy place. Its where I can get away, and totally be myself no matter what. I LOVE ground zero!

school u go 2? TA... today we had a prop rally *cough* i mean... i PEP rally, my bad.

wats ur room look liek? I love posters.

wat time is it? 7:42... but it won't be when I post this.

did u like this quiz? no, it was retartded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay... since I'm in kind of a wierd mood, I'll do something I havent done in a long time.... cause I'm feeling leik it. Now that you've *maybe* read the quiz... turn back now if you dont want to read the "lecture." or whatever...

K... in the quiz, I put one of my favorite songs as A little More by Skillet. I LOVE this song. I'm listening to it right now, and probably won't be able to turn it off for a looong time. It gets in my head and won't get out. It totally gets my attention. Why? I dont know... but it just bothers me. COnvicts me... sort of. Here's the lyrics... plz take a sec to read them... tell me what you think of them in a comment if u can, cause I always interpret songs the way my heart tells me they are saying... and thats not always the same as the next person, so I'd always be interested in what you get out of a song...

A Little More - Skillet

Love is all around you now
so take a hold.

Hidden in our words it sometimes aint enough.
DOn't suffocate day after day
it's building up
Cause when you're feeling weak...
You know I'm strong enough.
Just one more day... one more day.

(chorus)
O, let the world crash down
Love can take it
O, let the world come crashing down
Love can take it

Love can take a little
Love can give a little more
Love is indestructable, so take a hold.
(/chorus)

Sometimes hard to find a reason good enough,
I'll stand beside you
Never leave, through it all
and faith will bring a way
To the impossible

You can find me...
You can find me anywhere
Take a look over your shoulder...
I'll be standing there.
-------

Okay... so those are the lyrics. For good or for bad, there they are. Maybe they seem a little confusing, that's Okay. I just really got something out of them. I basically see the lyrics as being sung through Gods point of view... telling people that no matter what earthly things they seek after, love will be there no matter what. And sometimes... people have to let those earthly things come "crashing down" to get closer to god. But that's OKAY, cause "love can take it." See? No matter what hardships we go through in this life, and believe me, I've gone though plenty of hardships for my time (or maybe not.. I'm only 15), no matter how hard it is, no matter what crappy situation life gives us... LOVE CAN TAKE IT. Our entire life could come crashing down in one day. What if you woke up in the middle of the night - your house was on fire and every one of your family members had already died. That would be a major turnaround in your life obviously... but LOVE can take it. Love is there... we only have to grab it... to accept it. And when that happens, we can deal with anything.. because God's love can TAKE IT.
yay!

---

Okay... so there's my shpeil. Hope it was readable.. I can never tell when I write these things if they make sense or not.

So, I've been freakin out for the last hour or so because *gasp* ilovebees has had some RADICAL changes. Sheesh... i quit visting the site on a daily basis... dont go for a good 3 days and POW... TONS and TONS of new stuff happens. It encredible. The ilovebees website is now updated with a put-together story.... all of the audio files have been stitched ogether and they are making sense! I've only listened to the 1st of the 9 files.... and it was 8 minutes long, so this is gonna be one long story. Its so awesome... I'm uber excited! crazyness...

I dont really like this layout.... its so... small, and stuffy. You have to scroll down forever just to get to the tagboard. I'll be changing it soon... if not tonight. Right now its the Going Under by Evanescence theme. I love that picture of Amy Lee and the band over there *points to upper left*. Its my favorite evanescence pic. Well... the pics from the concert where she had black wings on are sweet too. I duno. Evanescence is awesome.

I'm starting to like classical music a lot more lately. Sorry Tim... I just can't stick with jazz for too long... its just not my favorite genre... but it still rocks! But ya - classical is sweet. New favorite Radio show(s)...

SUNDAY NIGHTS - 90.1 FM
9pm - 10pm = Elektronica "noise." Its the most relaxing thing I've ever heard in mah life! So awesome... its hard to describe... its not really music. Well - kinda... but not. Its awesome.

10pm - 11pm = Hearts of Space! Slow Music for Fast times. The coolest classical music ever. Its a solid hour of music... not a single comemrical.. not a single DJ interuption... just song after song after song etc... . Its awesome. Most of the songs are just piano... but some are piano and violin and/or bass or chello or something like that. A piano and violin sound amazing together!

11pm - 12pm = Time Traveler. "Time Travel" elektric music. So awesome... u gotta hear it!

so ya. I'm loving 90.1fm. 'twill never be an eual to Zfm.. but still.

I'd better go. THis was stinkin long. @ least i think it was... I'm tired now. I have to study for spanish.. blech. I probably won't. O well. THe thing is... i dont have any problems READING spanish... I totally understand the stories and all that... its just the speaking it part that screws me. Ugh... hate it.

I also got to get my kite plans done... record all the changes that we made and all that junk. Hopefully we'll have some WIND tomorrow. We dont need much, cause our kite actually flies really really well. GO to Mrs Egy's room tomorrow morning and see me and palmers kite! Its the black and purple on hanging from the ceiling! Yay...

Dangit.. have to do US hirstory too. @ least i dont have... o crap. I DO have physics. Arghh....
I hate homework!

Testing ... testing...

2004-09-23T17:38:00.000-06:00

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